1 When Life whispers "extend some grace".

In life, there is always a lesson to be learnt from every experience. What you do with, how you implement it and use it, is all up to you. Today I had to pause as I experienced a verbal whiplash by someone I held in high regard. I didn't allow myself to get defensive. Instead I listened. I didn't defend myself. I chose to listen. Why? Because, coming from this source, the behavior, the condescending, the combative defensiveness is not the norm. In fact in the decades of acquainted friendship I have never experienced this atomic verbal explosion. Instead of getting defensive or angry, I grew concerned and decided to not let any of the negatives adhere. I sat quietly on the other end of the line and I listened. There wasn't much I could contribute. I didn't get to same much, there was no room for it, other than the occasional monosyllabic empathic phrase. It was swift, powerful in its delivery. It was more a monologue than a dialogue. At the end of the heated diatribe. I gently hang-up the phone and sat in stunned silence. Taking deep breaths mentally sorted through all that I'd heard. I didn't question myself or examined what I said, there was no need. In the quiet of my self-care reflective check in I realized I'd have to extend some grace into the space of all that I heard, the things that were unsaid but clearly had a voice as it screeched in discordance. The pain, though unnamed echoed in every word and ping-pong in the atmosphere to be claimed. The deafening hysteria. I can do nothing to help. I can fix nothing. I can offer no solace or sucker. No I didn't get mad. I couldn't.  What I can do, and I am doing, is holding a space of grace for which humanness can flow through. 

D.S.B.S.Rhapsodyphoenix

5 SELF-CARE IS REQUIRED WORK

Self-care is hard work.

It is rewarding work.

It requires time,

It requires patience,

It requires self-advocacy,

Its worthy work.

For a worthy person, YOU. 

Because it is about Taking care of you!

For YOU,

For YOUR own sake,

Ensuring YOU are your best SELF

Guaranteeing that YOU function on your best level of being.

Take care of you unapologetically.

By D.S.B.S. Rhapsodyphoenix

Self-care wheel icon (double click for larger version) found at -  https://safehouseapp.info/2017/05/09/using-the-self-care-wheel-for-assessment-and-planning/

8 WATER ✷ DETOXIFY ✷ ENERGIZE ✷ REGULATE

WATER 

✷ 

IT'S PAINLESS & SOUL SATISFYING

= = = = =
Hydrate and Increase your brain Power and energize yourself, flush out those toxins, help nix the bad breath and maintain regularity. Ain't nothing cute about funky breath or getting backed up.
= = = = =
✸Drink water!
✸No calories
✸No sugar
✸No aspartame
✸No preservatives
✸No names you cannot pronounce
✸NOT genetically modified
✸JUST water,
Can you dig it?

I am no doctor. I just know the difference in my body since I increase my water consumption. Try it, I won't hurt. The worst that can happen is you pee a lot, unless you're allergic to water.

Outside my own experience of increasing my water intake (less joint pain, more energy better thirst quench etc) all other research on water to quantify some things was found online with the help of my friend google - that includes the specific list on the benefits of water.

2 KEEP THE FAITH

I have discovered through my lived experiences that it is the small victories that help you get through the challenges of being/existing. They help you traverse the muck that inevitable comes with living life. It is the oil that fuels the hope and propels you into keeping the faith. Thus it is wise to stockpile your victories from the ones smaller than mustard seed that may seem insignificant to others to the bulbous.

Life…..

The challenge is more that living…….

It is about giving it meaning, 
It is about ascribing value and knowing that no matter where you stand globally you are an important part of the whole.

Flights of fancy…..

Sometimes I give into flights of fancy, to the Utopian thoughts of traipsing through life experiencing no hurts, no sorrows, no rejection, calculatingly deliberate humiliation or shame. Of not having to navigate people’s biases and oppressive ideas and ideals of who they think I am and who they think I should be. Of being accepted in all my imperfectness and not have to filter through obscured maelstroms of backhanded toxic compliments.

Imagining…..

Can you imagine a world where you are not burdened continuously defending yourself, your character, your integrity for no other reason than the color of your skin?

Can you imagine what it would be like to be seen, seen not as a thing, not as a color rather as a human being and not designated “Other” and still not have that “Otherness” questioned for authenticity?

Can you imagine to not having to explain why you bleed but that you bleed, why you hurt but that you hurt, why you breathe but that you breathe, why you have to march to let others know that your Life matter, why you reject the emotional and psychological entangled affliction of racist PTSD?

See why it’s important to stockpile little victories?

It’s HOPE

2 KNOW WHEN TO LET GO

​​

Letting go when you've out grown a relationship can be challenging. 

We hold tight to the idea that all our relationships are meant to last forever. This belief is what causes us to cling physically, emotionally and psychologically to people who are no longer a part of our destiny. We allow notions of sentimentality, loyalty, fear of lonesomeness to stagnate our growth and strangle our excellence. I am here to tell you that letting go is not a​lways a​ bad thing. Is it frightening, hell yes. Can it bring forward some of your biggest doubts and fears? Ooh Lord, I am shaking my head affirmative wanting to shout yes! However my spirit, huh, my spirit challenges that automatic yes and forces me to admit that we are all different and what ​may be true for one person may not hold true for another. Thus I will say sometimes. Sometimes doubts and fears rears its head and we cling to that which is comfortable and sometimes we are ready to fly, to dive into the unknown, to experience what is next to come.

​ 

My grandmother always said that change is one of the only guarantee there is in life even though we are not always ready or willing to shift or adapt. To choose to stay in resistance can manifest the very things one might be trying to forestall, put off, avoid, stop. It may mean being left behind, suffering more unduly, isolation, exclusion, the complete dissemination of intimate relationships that could have evolution into friendships due to the unwillingness to LET GO and cleaving to tightly.

Its important to note that not all relations disintegrate completely and result into nothingness. Some relationships are able to transform into something different where the mutual respect remains proving that the end doesn't always have to mean, anger, resentment, bitterness, hate and disgust. 

My point to all this dribble drabble is this, "be open to change even when it seats you uncomfortably." Get out of your own way and don't block the blessing.

​Peace.​

12 LOVE AND EAR WAX

Last night I was on the train coming back from hanging out with a friend after work. I had a bag filled with mouth watering delights; Roscas (2) - Portuguese bread-like pastry bread with coconut and cinnamon and a dozen Bolinhos de Bacalhau or Salt Cod Fitters or as I delightfully discovered (when I tasted it) we Trini's call accra.  Ha! I was so tickled. My friend thinking she was introducing me to something new only to discovered its a tasty morsel I grew up eating. People we are not as different as we think - ha! same food different name. Anyway where was I before i went off on a food tangent....oh yeah. I was on my way home on the train when an elderly couple came in.

The couple sat opposite me on a two-seater. I could tell they have been together a long time by the way they moved with a synchronicity that bespoke years of being together. The had a body language that didn't require words. He would look at her and she would just answer with a nod or a hand jester. As I observed I saw he retrieved his iPod and selected a song. He then took the earphones and inserted one side in his ear and extended the other to her. She took it and placed it in her ear then the both shared a smile and sat back. I thought. It must be love if you don't mind sharing ear wax, not to mention  bacteria, fungus and infections.

This is where my eldest daughter would say, ewe, Mom! I know some of you reading this would say,. jeez she took a perfectly romantic story and killed it. Well I say, I am as much a romanticist as the next person I just am not so romantic that I am willing to share ear wax, fungus, bacteria and possible infections that's all.


Keeping it 100%
Stay blessed.
D.S.B.S.Rhapsody

ROSCA

SALT COD FITTER/ACCRA

18 Betrayal services many purposes

When we are first betrayed by ones we trusted we are consumed with hurt followed quickly by self-recrimination blaming ourselves for our poor choice, for not seeing or paying attention to the signs that signaled this person or persons are not trust worthy. It impacts our trust not only in others, it also impact our trust in ourselves and doubt comes in and seats itself comfortably in the psyche. Thus we become afraid, afraid to say too much, afraid to invest too much and afraid of getting too close so much so that we obscure or just plain forget the lessons betrayal brought with it. While we should indeed exercise more caution and mindfulness we should not forget the lessons. Lessons like paying attention to the signs that tell us when we are being lied to, the warnings when there “slip of the tongue” incidences indicate that you should not lay down your confidences even if you are feeling burden and need someone to confide in (find a therapist) or when we get so caught up in our “need” that we blind ourselves to the what IS in preference of “what could be” in other words allowing ourselves to get lost in our desires and needs so much so at times that we render ourselves deaf, dumb and (partner the bluntness), stupid.

MY POINT:

The next time you experience a betrayal pay attention to the lessons. Sure, feel hurt and all that comes with it, just don’t get lost in it as the betrayal serves mulitiple purposes. It serves as a guide to you, on your behalf informing you on what to do, what not to do and when best to exercise mindfulness. Most of all it is a lesson that demands that we trust ourselves and our core instincts when it is screaming up through our being and not deliberately side stepping, denying, ignoring and indulging in self-manipulative practices that render us into obtuse blindness.

MINDFULNESS CAVEAT

Do not allow past poor decisions, failures, hurts and disappointments cause you to abandon yourself and submit your will to those that will trample upon it.

UNDERSTAND:

The Blessed Divine granted you, yes YOU the privilege of free will and choice do not surrender it to anyone and don’t just give it away. The price for such lack of self-care is very high.

image foundy on http://esciencelog.com/

4 POTENTIAL GOD PARENTS • SAY NO IF YOU'RE NOT ABLE

Today I am preparing to attend my 2nd Godson's first communion. I say second for the obvious and not so obvious reasons. I'll get to that later. I take being a Godparent seriously which is why I don't say yes often.

A godparent/godparents are "suppose" take on the responsibility to, sponsor the child's baptism, assist with the child's upbringing and personal development and if God forbid, something should happen to the parent, raise the child as their own. In short, godparents are co-parents. That is a big ask, so if you're not ready to take on that responsibility please say no. Don't accept and then do nothing and your biggest presence is your non-presence.

Parents be more discriminately mindful of whom you chose to be co-parents and life advocates for your children. Think long-term, beyond this person being your "good friend" because essentially you are choosing someone to step into your role if (God forbid) you will no longer be able to.

I had lousy godparents in fact I don't even know who they are or what they look like because frankly they were never a presence in my life. Fatalistically (love that word) sad yet true my choices though slightly better were not that great either (Chuck it to youthful idealism). Of the people I chose only two really showed any real interests throughout the years by remembering birthdays etc,. The rest in all honesty were a crap shoot, which just plain came  up shit. I thought I was choosing well, boy was I wrong. One didn't even remember he had a godchild. I had to remind him. Seriously, parents out there in this big beautiful universe of ours put some real thought into this endeavor of godparenting/co-parenting advocacy because it's about your child/children future.

You're probably wondering what happened to my first godson? The obvious reason, I am here and he is in Trinidad. The not so obvious reason, his mom. When I migrated to Canada I kept in touch, writing to the mom because at the time he was 3 yrs old. She never wrote back, after a few years I gave up, that was 31 years ago. He is a man now probably with children of his own. To him, am a phathom Godparent. I resent his mom for that, though little was in my control. Too often many take on the task, sadly in name only.

I can sincerely say I am a good Godparent. I have too young godsons now, both brothers. They know me and regard me and I am there. I am not a phathom with only my absence as a non-presence and my name on the baptismal certificate the only proof I exist on "godprent-hood."

Got to run.
Have a blessed week

Peace

2 WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES

It take a village:
What role do men play in the fight against sexual assault?

Ottawa women’s rights activist Julie Lalonde has spent more than a decade raising awareness of sexual assault and gender-based violence, all the while experiencing constant harassment by men on and offline. She regularly receives rape and death threats on social media, and whenever she presents a workshop or gives a speech, she always makes sure to have an escort walk her to and from her car. It can be discouraging and emotionally draining to see how much work still needs to be done. But one thing that gives her hope is the rise of the male ally: men who are signing up to support the movement to combat sexual assault and rape culture. READ MORE

3 DON'T LET DOUBT CONSUME YOU

Doubt is like a starving animal licking at your heels desperate for every morsel that drops from you mouth. He will mew, mourn, cry, beg and coerce you for food. The minute you give in and feed him he gets automatically demanding trying to control you to ensure his belly is always swollen in satisfaction. He'd care little that his Satisfaction comes at the expense of yours. His only interests is that he is fed.

Do not give into doubt, it is insidious and will erode your confidence and eat your self-worth.

D.S.B.S..Rhapsody © all rights reserved

14 SEX SELLS - STRATEGIC MARKETING (WINE & SEX)

WINE - SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVELY LABELED

 

We all know that sex sells and if you have ever watched television, read advertisement on posters, stores, magazines and listen to the radio you know exactly what I mean. Sex for profit has taken new heights. I am speaking with regard to alcohol, more specifically, wines. Since early 2000s there's been a growing trend associating sex with wine.  The titaling usage of sex now in your face bold, crude and rude. It’s usage has become the “Norm”. We are now in an age of the unapologetically bold willfully erasing barriers and in some case blowing it to thy kingdom come. Modesty, discretion, a thing of the past. Now alcohol is "SEXY" literally and figuratively.

The implication that alcohol is “sexy” resembles the cigarettes adverstisment back in the day before nicotine addiction and lung CANCER rared its ugly head as a consequence. Make money now consequences be dammed seems to be the motto. Wine companies have now taken a page from the oldest sex trade - prostitution with suggestive labels that leave absolutely no doubt at its meaning pimping it out to the masses with cleverly crafted innuendo advertisement, titilating the carnal pallette.

While I am cognisant that the concept of sex in adverstiment to make money is not entirely new, it is a bit jarring.  Perhaps that is the point, to be intentionally provocative? I say this not to put a carboch on free speech and all that. Nor am I saying that I do not take an occassional drink. I am saying that accountability and responsibility should not be negated for profit.

  We live in very interesting times where pursuing the liquor store can have you browsing the isles with labels such as:

·        Sexy

·        The sexy bomb

·        Fifty Shades

·        Two Hands "Sexy Beast"

·        Prisoner

·        Blindfold

·        Complicated

·        "The Other"

·        Fourplay

·        Menage a trois

·        Sexual chocolate

·        You fuck my wine?

·        Promiscuous

·        Temptation

·        Bush (slogan "taste the bush")

·        Arse

 

Oh and let's not forget a little misogyny

·        Bitch

·        Birthday Bitch

·        Sassy Bitch

·        Royal Bitch

Interesting times indeed...

Your thoughts?

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody © all rights reserved

3 ROUND AND ROUND - THE FOLLY OF LEAPING BEFORE LOOKING

8:05 pm

Tired from a long day I rode the escalator to the bus platform. As I reached the top I took a quick glance at the schedule, it read DUE. I hurried my steps, rushed to the platform and happily boarded the bus. I thought 'no wait time, yes!'  I pulled out my tablet and began to read half listening for my stop.

8:15 pm

As I read I heard a stop announced that I was not familiar with. Alerted asked the driver, "what bus am I on?"

"The 20," he announced.

"Damn" I exclaimed.

"What?" the driver asked.

"I boarded the wrong bus," I said.

"What bus did you want?" he asked 

"The 113," I answered.

It was raining outside, the ground is sloshy with a mixture of snow and rain. I decided to stay on to the next subway as the 113 bus also stopped there. I said to the driver, "I will go to the other subway with you." After a few minutes he suggested I get off at a stop where he usually pass my bus on the way down. I thought 'mmmm, good idea." I asked, " Can you let me know when I get there?"

"Yeah sure," he answered. I went back to reading.

9:40 pm

I got off at the suggested stop. My phone rang, it was my mom. We chatted until my bus came.

9:45 pm

The 113 arrived, it's sign said SHORT TURN. I thought 'oh no' I asked the driver, "how far are you going?"

"To hell," he announced crackling at his own humor. The passengers in the bus laughing answered, "he is going as far as Birchmount." 

"Thank you," I sighed and boarded the bus. The rain was non-stop and I was tired and getting cold.

10:00 pm

Uncermoniously dumped off at Birchmount I crowded into the bus shelter against the cool rain. Somebody farted and I quickly exited preferring the cold rain to the toxic stinge.

10:05 pm

The second 113 bus arrived. I thankfully boarded. I special requested (allowed after 9 pm) a stop in front my building. The ground was covered in slick ice and slosh. I walked gingerly picking my way through slowly like a 97 year old with a walker.

10:15 pm

I made it. Home at last.

Lesson of the day?
Look before you leap.

24 THE SWEETNESS OF SLEEP

Blessings All, I trust your weekends went well, If not....well, lets look at the bright side (such as it is) and say, at least you get to live another day to complain today about yesterday and the day before. You can vent and purge your system.

My weekend was no Disneyland happily ever after fairy-tale but it was no “Salem's Lot” either. It was hmmm...lukewarm, not bad or outrageously fabulous but lukewarm.  I could have done with more sleep but then again when can I not? Sleep is healing, its the time the body rejuvenates itself from the madness we put it through. Have you ever noticed how the sweetest part of sleep is when you have to get up? It's like the body gets warmer, the dreams get better, and the body's more relaxed, the endorphin juices flowing through the veins having a party up in there and you just want to continue sleeping. In fact, you are so comfortable you don't want to get up so you play the 5-minute game with yourself and the clock.

5 Minute Game:

The alarm goes off, or someone wakes you and you think stretching.... hmmm, hmmm....., just 5 more minutes and then you'd get up.  You bargain with yourself, with whomever woke you, the Lord to give you just 5 more minutes or "half an hour. Then you begin to mentally reason your way into that 5 minutes, 'all I have to do is shower, put on my clothes and go out the door'. Five minutes came and went, 15, 30, 45 minutes and you jack knife out of bed using expletives, chastising yourself for not getting up when you should have all the while making a mad dash to the shower, brush your teeth at lighting speed, and change hurriedly making a leap for the door still talking to yourself in a dialogue of reprimands. Heaven forbid anyone should try to communicate with you in those moments because you are snapping at them, answering abruptly if at all, silently or audaciously blaming them when its your own fault but do you care in those moments, absolutely not, after all, its simple easier to shift the blame to someone else, even the clock does not escape recrimination. Lol, lol, lol…Now if you are one of those people that snap at others half way through your day you begin to feel guilty, thinking of ways to say "I'm sorry". Of course it's short lived because no sooner than the apology is out, the vicious cycle of 5 more minutes begin again. lol, lol, lol, lol.

The reality is we need more sleep but sometimes the sweetness of sleep never seems enough even if you do go to bed on time. It is said (by those "scientifically" inclined people) that the best time to be in bed is by 10:00 pm as the body begins to release the healing endorphins between 10 pm and 2 am, (I don’t know what that means for those working nights) so if you going to bed after 2 am your likely to feel like you never get enough rest. Now I understand those people that use the morning cup of joe (coffee) to jump kick their morning, if only i had that vice...

Well I got to go to work to earn the pay to pay the bills to earn the right to complain. Have a outrageously fantastic week. 

14 You Are Worthy - Don’t become that which you despise

We are at risk of becoming the very people we are most challenged by in our CORE relationships if we allow ourselves to go infinitely unexamined, self-righteous and judgemental in seeking retribution and solace in the other’s demise.

It was said by the elders of my youth that failure to examine the Self and the ways in which the “I” is impacted by our deepest hurts, humiliations and sorrows leaves us blind and vulnerable. Because, it short circuits our ability to see how we are transformed, shaped by those experiences that in turn inform our behavior, our thinking, how we act, react, feel and see ourselves. Thus losing the key lessons the tribulations were designed to specifically bring to fruition.

IN SHORT:

The “Unexamined” festers, embedding itself into our normalcy of existences that leaves us feeling in the deepest part of our Being inadequate, feeding the lie that we are “not enough”. It is then we are in danger of becoming that which we despise.

YOU ARE WORTHY

We owe it to ourselves, to keep it real with the Self, the inner “I” even if we cannot be real with anyone else. It keeps you from being devoured, displaced, alienated from the Self and living in a constant state of self-denial and negation

You are enough

12 The Wisdom of Confiding in Others

GET PERMISSION, DO NOT ASSUME

Before you confide in someone ask the person if they are willing to keep your confidence. Now I realize that some of you may bark at the idea of asking someone’s permission in a conversation before you disclose your concerns/conflict etc., and may go so far as to think that it is ludicrous and obscene even, it is not.

I cannot tell you the amount of times I have heard,overheard, made privy to people’s complaint about their “friends”, “families”coming to them with their problems and how they feel burdened and oppressed by it. It is the reason some of you may have and continue to experience the friends/family members who are always too busy, never picks up the phone,sporadically return calls or have an endless slew of excuses why they couldn’t be there for you.

I am not saying do not share or you should not share, in fact it is a healthy thing to share as no one person is an Island. I am saying do not assume the person(s) with whom you would like to disclose with is willing to listen and or keep your confidence. Sharing is great, it helps to clarify and solidify things. It also lets you know that you are not alone in the world and the problem that you may think is unique to you may be more common than you realize. You absolutely should not suffer in silence, after all as I have stated before, no one “man” (universal term) is an island. You simply must choose your confidant wisely and again, ask, do not assume.

Example: (one scenario of asking)

Rhapsody:   “Hey Jane, how are you doing?”

Jane:           “I am doing great; you however don’t look so great, are you alright?”

Rhapsody:  “Truthfully no, I need to speak with someone about something that is troubling me, I could do with another perspective, will you be willing to keep my confidence, and this must stay strictly between you and I. It is ok if you don’t want to I will not be offended in fact I’d appreciate the candour”.

Something like that, now you don’t have to use those exact words, after all you are not me, just put your linguistic personality spin on it, as long as you remember to ask and not assume. You don’t want to end up as somebody’s casual dinner conversation. Now lets be clear, asking won’t guarantee that the person or persons you choose to confide in won’t betray your trust. It simply establishes from the beginning between you and the party/parties involved the boundaries set out in the conversation to which there was an agreement.

A couple of the reasons for asking:

1.    Respecting the person’s right not to be involuntarily co-opted into keeping your secret.There is a responsibility in consenting to be someone’s confidant that may clash with their personal relationship(s).

o  How you ask, simple, some husbands and wives, partners etc., have rules that govern their relationship that best works for them that you may not be privy too and one of those rules maybe full disclosure of everything said outside of both of them, even on best friends confiding their secrets, hence what you say to he or she will be discussed with the spouse/partner. If you do not have a problem with that then go for it. If you do have issues with it then you may want to choose someone else to confide in.

2.    Not taking the person or persons trust, time and willingness to listen to you for granted.

In the end, if confidences are betrayed, they'll be no question as to intent. Just as one should ask before disclosing, if the confidant is unable to help (if it is a solution based problem) and has a source that may have some answers, then that confidant must come back to you and ask for your permission to disclose in order to find a solution. If you in turn say no then it stays between you.

Mindfulness Thought

Be mindful that you treat every relationship in your life like a precious commodity and not take any of it for granted and give respect where respect is due.

D.S.B,S Rhapsody ©All Rights Reserved

12 Coloring & Reading Through Stress–Afforable Theraphy

How do you manage your stress? Sometimes life can give some hard blows and we need to find healthy outlets to releave those stressers whilst journeying through life.

Some people enjoy yoga, going to the gym, running, going out with friends etc., Me I have many avenues one of which is coloring and reading. This week I bounced between the two. It was soothing.

Coloring by D.S.B.S. Rhapsody

#rhapsodyphoenix

18 “Don’t bite the hand that feeds” - Perception can be deception

I often hear people use this statement "don't bite the hand that feeds" to sum up another’s seemingly ungrateful, disrespectful and overall bad attitude toward another who is the provider, the giver, the “saviour” so to speak and while that may be true in some situations it is not always true to all situations and should not be generally apply to all.

What I have observed with many people that apply this parable, “don’t bite the hand that feeds” or “he/she is biting the hands that feeds them” is often not privy to all the facts. It is a blanket determination of a person or persons supposed character. Frankly “don’t bite the hand that feeds” is a moral judgment.

The truth is "the hands that feed” can often occupy dual or multiply roles and those roles may not always be to the benefit of the “eater” i.e. the benefactor because the “hand that feeds” can also be the hands that strangle, choke, beat, violate, negate, oppress and depress.

We should all exercise caution before predetermining who we believe a person is or is not based on what we perceive. 

The Moral:

It is wise to not judge what we do not have all the facts to for what we see is not always what is. What looks good is not always good and what we may “perceive” about a situation or others may crumble under the reality of truth for perception without facts to create certainty is just perception not truth. 

"Perception can be deception" --D.S.B.S.Rhapsody








think before you speak....

24 A Trillion Reasons Why

There are a trillion reasons why...

One could not,

Would not,

Did not, 

Have not,

May not...do this or that

But

There are few reasons that really matter.

Whether or not you want to, are obligated to

Or committed to keep it real

and...

Drop the bullshit excuses

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody

THE MORAL: 
Who you are, what you choose to do and not do, say and not say and the excuses for not following through, fulfilling, manifesting, implementing your truth, destiny, purpose is all up to you. You can give all the reasons why, they may all be valid and true, yet, in the end they are still excuses because the power is in your hands, heart, mind, body and spirit to bring all into being..

16 Let us adapt a new attitude

We live in a society that unfortunately seems to encourage the disparagement of others. One of the biggest culprits is the media, television entertainment,news, magazines etc and how we participate and perpetuate voluntarily and involuntarily when we knowingly partake loving the salacious gossip and critical tear downs including the workplace, clubs, coffee shops, homes etc.

The reality is, we become part of the problem when we purchase/burrow, read those malicious tidbits then compound the problem by going to the various social media platforms/blogs to propagate the nasty toxic behavior that regrettably has now become the norm. Yet we are surprised and horrified at the escalation of bullying taking on new and gruesome dimensions in the cyber world with its disheartening consequences.

Most things can be used for dual purposes the good and the bad. We as individuals have to decide which side we want to come down on and take responsibility for our own actions and what comes out of our mouth. People who salivate at the power given by “Anonymity” hiding behind fake names and profiles like gossip rags with their “close source,” that work to meticulously destroy people’s lives/character are no better than those who would rob others at gun point. 

The pen is as might as a sword or in this analogy, a gun. Words are weapons, they dangerous, they wound and you can’t roll it back in like an unraveled ribbon and everything will be ok.  We all have an individual and collect responsibility to not be part of the problem rather we should be part of the solution. Do not lend your ear to gossip, do not let your being be the toad stool upon which other people cast their stink eroding droppings. 

In this new year, let us adapt a new attitude and dare to stand up for what is right, not because it would gain us points and popularity but because if the shoe were on the other foot and we were being maligned, harassed and bullied we would want someone to champion us and dare to rise up and take a stand on our behalf. Let us dare to NOT participate in gossip. Let us dare to speak directly to the ones we feel is offending/offended us. Let us dare to be transparent in how we think, reason, behave and deal with people. Let us dare to live a life with personal integrity even if it means standing outside the “inner circle.”

“It is easy to criticize others, to list their faults. However, before casting aspersions, first take a look at self before condemning anyone else.”—DBS.Rhapsody

It would benefit us all to….

“Be careful of the seeds you sew because you may not like the harvest of consequences it yields.”—DSBS.Rhapsody 

31 RAPE - THE NORM? RAPE CULTURE

Rape-aXe aka  Rapex– Anti rape condom for women.

Question: Did you know that a female condom was invented to catch rapist and give women an opportunity to escape their rapist?

I love to read and every so often I search for articles of interest. You know what “they” say (don’t know who “they” are) no news is old news. In that spirit I am sharing what I consider relevant news on a article or about Rape-aXe aka Rapex. 

Rape-aXe aka  Rapex– is an Anti rape condom for women designed by Dr. Sonnet Ehlers to help stop/reduce the pandemic incidences of rape, a deterrent to rapists, to seek justice for rape survivors . The Rapex condom is worn like a tampon. It has teeth lining the inside of the condom that hooks on and bites into the penis and stays embedded. If the man tries to remove the rapex condom himself he will literally shred his penis. The rapex condom can only be removed surgically, hence presenting a chance to catch the rape perpetrator. Now some of you might be say “what the hell?” “That is barbaric!” and be outraged and horrified.

Me, I say yes! Yes! Yes! And hell to the YES to the 100th power yes! RAPE is beyond BARBARIC and its impact is devastatingly horrifying on every level (physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually) not to mention the residual impact on families. Viewed singularly the rapex condom might be deemed by some as extreme. I say no, not if you put it in context, let’s look at the big picture. According to Nation Master Crime Statistics, South African is ranked first for rapes per capita.  A staggering 500, 000 rape cases per year were reported according to www.irinnews.org in an article called SOUTH AFRICA: One in four men rape (must read). That is 1,370 cases a day! A day, Sweet father Jesus, a day; I mean if you want to get mathematically technical its 1,369.863 but that’s just splitting hairs, either way the number is astronomically ridiculous and horrifying and it speaks volumes of the prevalence of sexual violence of pandemic proportions. I mean it is estimated that a woman/girl is raped every 26 seconds! Are you F****** kidding me?

What the hell are the governments, politicians, policy makers and police in South Africa doing or not doing that rape is normalized to the degree that it has become a culture. A rape culture that produces a proliferation of rapists - men and boys who believe that RAPE is normal, that rape is a rite of passage, that RAPPING women/girls is fun? Again, are you F****** kidding me? After reading Africa South Africa's rape shock on BBC news network online I incline to believe I am living in an alternate universe. Somebody wake me up quick because am choking on this shit. I mean, what kind of nightmare world are we living in?

I fully understand Ehlers motivation behind creating Rape-aXe aka  Rapex the female condom because this is pure madness. Seriously one no longer has to wonder why HIV/AIDs are ravishing young girls and women because their bodies are the battleground on which the war is fought and oppression and psychic torture is sewn. God help us all. I hope Rape-aXe aka Rapex was marketed and produced and is readily available to all women and girls in any country where rape is the norm.

If you have any updated info on Rape-aXe aka Rapex let me know via your comment.

Peace.

ONE BILLION RISING THE 2016 CAMPAIGN
Join the fight on violence against women.

*1 in 3 women across the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime, that’s ONE BILLION WOMEN AND GIRLS

 

photos from online I billion campaign