4 BREAKING THE HABIT - LISTENING TO YOUR BODY

I have a nasty habit of holding my pee. I will sit for hours, completely absorbed in whatever task has captured my mind, ignoring the very vessel that allows me to do the work.

It starts with the Tremors. This is the second sign the body sends out; I start at the second because the first sign—the gentle nudge—is almost always ignored. When I finally move, it is a desperate performance: the shakes, the wobble, the swing, the shimmy, and the squat. If anyone witnessed it, they’d fall down in side-splitting hilarity.

Lately, the warnings have become even more intimate. I’ll get signals right through the middle of my palms. I can actually feel the need for release there—a strange, sharp urgency—and I find myself massaging the center where the ache resonates, rubbing my hands together as my body frantically tries to get my attention.

I’ve had "accidents" before. But as I sit here now, feeling that familiar vibration, I realize that "accident" is a reach. An accident implies a lack of control, but this is a conscious choice. I am choosing to stay still while my body begs for relief.

It is a kind of self-abandonment we must be careful of. We learn to stop listening, ignoring the beginning signals only to be forced into a terrible ending we could have foregone.

I’m going to go listen now, before the choice becomes a consequence.

2 THE TRUTH ISN'T ALWAYS WELCOMED & THE IMPACT OF SPEAKING IT, ISN'T ALWAYS ALLURING

Truth is often asked for, demanded and almost always never truly welcomed. Growing up as a child in the midst of elders I have had the pleasure and privilege to traverse many cultures, religions, traditions, ethos and practices. I know from the living experience that we are not as different as we perceive ourselves to be. In fact, we are indeed more alike than we are different. What manifests as "different" is really just the myriad of diversification of doing things, the naming of things, the expressing of those same things and philosophies of lessons learnt wrapped in the explanations/explaining. Our experiences - socio-economical, spiritual, financial, the good, the not so great, the traumatic, bad, horrifying, aids in the coloring,  and reshaping the way we see things and influences and impact our telling, retelling, of our stories, histories, traditions and cultural practices and nuances. So many things that appear different in practice if were to be systematically deconstructed to its core foundation, it is pretty much the same. 

One of these standard sameness that runs through, I dare say, most cultures ethos, is the belief systems on truth, in the telling of it and in the of living it. Heck I'd bet most people can remember as children being taught the value of truth. Even the bible foretells, "Ye shall know truth and the truth shall make you free." --John 8:32 KJV. 

"Ye shall know truth and the truth shall make you free," very true statement. Now while this is true, there are some truths within this truth, that is not told, that should be told. At least laid clear in preparation of what may come. 

What is not often shared about truth is, what happens between the telling of the truth, and reaching eventual freedom that it promises to bring. The bridge from truth to freedom is not always smooth and can be a tumultuous journey to attaining "freeness". It is some of this realness of the consequential realities  of speaking, walking, living in rawness truth telling untattered by excuses that is missing. Often we taught the abridged version, "Ye shall know truth and the truth shall make you free." 

The abridged version is inadequate because it leaves you vulnerable. No-one warns of the possible backlash from telling the truth. No one tells you it can be traumatizing, that you can be abandoned, isolated, alienated by loved ones, friends, colleagues, for speaking the truth. That you may have to, for a little while walk alone, that you may have to be your own champion, your biggest believer, fighter, motivator and strongest advocate. All those possible realities are left out of the discussion about speaking truth. Thus most are not prepared to navigate its complexity should any of it be a reality. This is where our parents, guardians, mentors, loved ones fail us. 

They fail us by not telling the whole truth about what it may mean to tell the truth, about what may come as a result of revealing the truth. About the possibilities of what may arise as a result of others hearing and receiving and not believing the truth. We are told enough about truth to inspire us to speak it and live it. However, we are not told enough to prepare ourselves, to help prevent ourselves from being knocked on our asses and blindsided, if the receiving is not with openness and grace but rather with doubtful disbelieving, defiance and aggression. 

The truth about truth should be taught in its entirety, the good, the bad, the ugly. It cannot, must not be taught halfway. The knowledge of it should not be hidden and manipulated to dictate a particularly desired behavior/outcome because it leaves the learner unaware of its incompleteness open to be eviscerated. Not being sufficiently prepared leaves us at a deficit. It leaves us emotionally and psychologically unarmed and ill equipped to combat the disillusionment cumulating in a struggle to navigate the disenchantment fatigue in which we can lose ourselves. 

D.S.B.S Rhapsodyphoenix

7 SILENCE MUST BE USED STRATEGICALLY AND MINDFULLY

 Have you ever considered the value of silence?

Silence is powerful and can be weaponized depending on the context. It can be used to wound, to isolate, to perpetuate negativity, convey complicity, to build confidence, to inspire, convey respect or display quiet support. How you use "Silence" depends heavily on the character you cultivate and choice you choose when wheeling it.

Have you ever considered how have you chosen to use silence in the past? Given the opportunity in the same kind of situation and circumstance would you choose to apply it the same way for the same reason? If not, why, what has changed within you, your life, that would give you pause in applying the same silent tactic in the same way? Have you evolved into the better higher self or have you devolved into the, eye for an eye, take no prisoners, up yours ethos?

I have found that I tend to apply mindfulness thinking and reverse situational placement when it comes to to the myriad of ways I convey my silence though i certainly at times entertain the opposite. It goes something like..... 'If this were you, in  this same position with the same set of circumstances, how would you want someone's silence that is bearing witness to be conveyed on your behalf. Would you want it allocated intentionally advocational with compassion, understanding  empathy, and balanced reasoning, or wheeled in adversarial, complicit, accusatory, vengeful vindictiveness?'

Have you ever weaponized your silence? Did it benefit you?

6 HAVE YOU CONSIDERED YOUR OWN BOUTS OF INCONSIDERATIONS?

Blessings....

I am lying on my bed here "soaking". I am thinking about nothing in particular while I post some of my photographs from fall to ignite some assertive colors into a some what grey day. As I post the last of 3 photos a question filter through my mind.  Have you considered your own bouts of inconsiderations? Hmmmmm is my immediate response as a thought occurs to me. 'This contemplation of owned inconsiderations' is "share" worthy.

TRAIN OF THOUGHT

Often times we dwell on the hurts and betrayals we've suffered. The inconsiderations we are sometimes subjected to. In trying to cope with these experiences we share with others who are willing to listen (without judgment - we hope) the experiences relaying the depths of our hurts to garner support, understanding, empathy and some strategic skills to help us deal with the impact and residual effects. All of which is healthy because it is paramount to moving forward with our lives and NOT becoming STUCK in pain.

However in our quest to heal, to get over, to triumph we can get self-righteous and forget our own humanness and not considered our own short comings, those we have hurt knowingly and unknowingly. What have you done to right those wrong? How have you risen up and ask for forgiveness? Or have you? Have you apologized? Or are you STUCK in the shame, guilt, self-disgust of your behavior and in so doing isolated yourself?

As human beings it is virtually impossible to live and not bruise others. However all is not lost as we can choose to live consciously, be present and mindful of our actions, words and deeds and the impact. It is wise to remind ourselves that words have power, no one likes being devalued, deliberately humiliated and continuously debased for poor choices and the consequences that followed as a result.

The reality is this, you may not be ready to forgive or hear an apology and life of the relationship as far as you are concerned is dead, there is nothing wrong with that. You are simply not there yet and the relationship irreparable. The same is true for those you may ask for forgiveness. You may not be forgiven. Your apology may not be accepted and the relationship irreparable in their eyes. The point is to take the necessary steps to heal and move into acceptance.

ACCEPTANCE
Acceptance does not mean all is well. It does not mean you are ok with what has happened. It does not mean you agree or are agreeable. It simply means you accept what is, what you cannot change, where you are not ready or willing to go. In short, "it is what it is" and wishing it wasn't does not make it not so.

What are your thoughts?
What say you?
Are you able to accept not being forgiven by someone you've hurt?

D.S.B.S Rhapsody

10 THE APPROPRIATENESS OF EXPRESSION

RAW by D.S.B.S.Rhapsody

To express oneself is never a bad thing

In fact it is healthy

What may cause you to pause,

To question the articulation of your particular form of expression

Maybe ...

Time

Place

Appropriateness

Kinda like the ......

Who, what, when, where and why

In fact this right here "Appropriateness"

Can very well alter and give new meaning to your expression
Such transformations can manifest through Distortion or Hindrance

The distortion can be a help facilitating growth, hope, opening doors of opportunity and positivity.

Or it can be a hindrance manifesting negativity, birthing consequence you never imagined and blocking the Blessings

Both possibilities are learning experiences should you be open to enlightenment that demands consequential acceptance.

How you navigate through and allow that to define and redefine you,

Time will tell.

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody

18 Betrayal services many purposes

When we are first betrayed by ones we trusted we are consumed with hurt followed quickly by self-recrimination blaming ourselves for our poor choice, for not seeing or paying attention to the signs that signaled this person or persons are not trust worthy. It impacts our trust not only in others, it also impact our trust in ourselves and doubt comes in and seats itself comfortably in the psyche. Thus we become afraid, afraid to say too much, afraid to invest too much and afraid of getting too close so much so that we obscure or just plain forget the lessons betrayal brought with it. While we should indeed exercise more caution and mindfulness we should not forget the lessons. Lessons like paying attention to the signs that tell us when we are being lied to, the warnings when there “slip of the tongue” incidences indicate that you should not lay down your confidences even if you are feeling burden and need someone to confide in (find a therapist) or when we get so caught up in our “need” that we blind ourselves to the what IS in preference of “what could be” in other words allowing ourselves to get lost in our desires and needs so much so at times that we render ourselves deaf, dumb and (partner the bluntness), stupid.

MY POINT:

The next time you experience a betrayal pay attention to the lessons. Sure, feel hurt and all that comes with it, just don’t get lost in it as the betrayal serves mulitiple purposes. It serves as a guide to you, on your behalf informing you on what to do, what not to do and when best to exercise mindfulness. Most of all it is a lesson that demands that we trust ourselves and our core instincts when it is screaming up through our being and not deliberately side stepping, denying, ignoring and indulging in self-manipulative practices that render us into obtuse blindness.

MINDFULNESS CAVEAT

Do not allow past poor decisions, failures, hurts and disappointments cause you to abandon yourself and submit your will to those that will trample upon it.

UNDERSTAND:

The Blessed Divine granted you, yes YOU the privilege of free will and choice do not surrender it to anyone and don’t just give it away. The price for such lack of self-care is very high.

image foundy on http://esciencelog.com/

6 BE YOU

On my mind in this moment:

I often find myself with a particular thought and or concept that will take hold and will not let go until I have written it down, either pen to paper or letters to blog. Hence my entry today is titled….BE YOU.

If who you are and who you aspire to be is solely dependent upon how others see and perceive you. Then you are in trouble. You see, who you are now and who are to become cannot and should not be solely predicated upon others ideas, ideals, philosophies and ideologies. Though some of what you see, hear, experience and learn will undoubtedly shape and influence you to some degree it cannot be all that you are.

It is important to learn the value of you, in you. Go on the adventure of the “I” and learn the lessons inherent in living that are specifically designed for you. Learn how to respect and honor yourself and create standards, ethics, ethos and philosophies that support that and though you may discover that you are flawed like the rest of us homo-sapiens. Like the rest of us, you will find the wisdom in self-acceptance and gain the understanding that you are enough and perfectly imperfect.

Just, Be you, you will find that you will be better at it than trying to be someone other than. After all, you are the only one living with you 24/7, 365.

 

 

14 You Are Worthy - Don’t become that which you despise

We are at risk of becoming the very people we are most challenged by in our CORE relationships if we allow ourselves to go infinitely unexamined, self-righteous and judgemental in seeking retribution and solace in the other’s demise.

It was said by the elders of my youth that failure to examine the Self and the ways in which the “I” is impacted by our deepest hurts, humiliations and sorrows leaves us blind and vulnerable. Because, it short circuits our ability to see how we are transformed, shaped by those experiences that in turn inform our behavior, our thinking, how we act, react, feel and see ourselves. Thus losing the key lessons the tribulations were designed to specifically bring to fruition.

IN SHORT:

The “Unexamined” festers, embedding itself into our normalcy of existences that leaves us feeling in the deepest part of our Being inadequate, feeding the lie that we are “not enough”. It is then we are in danger of becoming that which we despise.

YOU ARE WORTHY

We owe it to ourselves, to keep it real with the Self, the inner “I” even if we cannot be real with anyone else. It keeps you from being devoured, displaced, alienated from the Self and living in a constant state of self-denial and negation

You are enough

78 CONVERSING ON THE ART OF BEING STILL

This is where I am in my being this day and where I am grounding myself this week. Every so often I do internal inventory. With that in mind I am re-sharing this post with two intentions, one: to remind myself of the importance of being still and two: to reshare with you and read your thoughts and strategies on being still.

Learning to be still at times is like trying to catch water with a sift. It is challenging, pitting what you know against what you want. The practice endeavors one to think critically about action, cause and effect. It moulds and teaches self-discipline, self-monitoring and self-parenting. It is a practice that is demanding when one first instinct is to react instead of staying calm, to roar instead of being humble, to be obnoxious and malicious instead of benevolent and polite.

Learning to be still is valuable. It is in the process of achieving it is where one runs into trouble. It involves discipline and the daily practice of learning how to pick your battles “leave this”, “pick up that”. The Repetitive practice is essential to training oneself to … Speak when only it is necessary, answer only when called, think mindfully before expressing and walking away instead of surrendering to willful retaliation.

The art of being still demands much skill, some of which I am still learning.

D.S.B.Rhapsody©all rights reserved.

Art|: I Believe I Can Fly by Frank Morrison

14 “GET OVER IT”–GETTING OVER

Have you ever had someone tell you “get over it?” They just fling those three words at you, sometimes in judgment, disgust, exasperation, or in a well intentioned effort to help you move on without really having a clue as to the depth of your issues and they only succeed in making you feel worst?

You know why you feel worst, because on some level you know there is some truth to what they have said regardless of delivery (how they are say it) and that is why it hurts so much (even if they don’t have all the facts and know the whole story). Therein lies the discomfort, the reasons for the defensiveness, resistance, distance and perpetulance because you are locked in, you are stuck and feeling like you can’t to get above the experience, the hurt.

Sometimes in life we get stuck, stuck in the past. Stuck in a point in time that is was impactful enough that it hinders your progress or slows it to a degree that you feel like you are standing still while the world goes by. This I call “The boom shift” the point of impact, the implosion, the wounding of the “I” that creates the crisis of “self”, “the monkey cling”, you know—the shit that sticks/emotional baggage. It colors the way in which you see yourself, the way you see, articulate and relate to the world around you. Not everyone can just shake that monkey and keep it moving.  

We are all different and hence we all process our experiences diversely. While it is important to deal with past negative experiences that created a shift in character and personality that can contribute to being stuck it is also important that we don’t maliciously trample upon others feelings in our zest to help them “get over it” because you may be creating more wounds and doing more harm than good.

Getting over is not easy, shame and guilt are heavy tasks masters that gives no quarter and takes no prisoners though journey to conquer ones demons is well worth the triumphant peace that is sure to follow because we all deserve to be free of the negative bondage of the past.

WORD OF CAUTION:

Check your mouth before you let things go falling out and ask yourself this, are you speaking from your own context or are you standing in the context of the person to whom you are speaking in order to really grasps what they are sharing, have experienced and what they are asking?

Bear in mind, when someone shares their story with you, It’s not about what you would do, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU! It’s about them, where they are at and what they are feeling and how they are attempting to sort it out if that’s what they are asking. If you cannot do that, if you cannot prevent yourself from making it about you, then do them a favor, delicately shut it down.

Note: If you consent to listening to someone’s story, consult your head, heart and intention before you go doling out advise, solicited or unsolicited and be mindful that you may not “know” the whole story and there may be levels and depths to which you don’t understand, have a clue or are ill equipped to deal with.

For those of you “getting over” be patient with yourself, be gentle with yourself, be real with yourself, be willing to see the truth as is even though its hard to sallow and digest, to face it, own the pieces that are yours to own, learn to come to terms with and let go of the ones that are not yours to hold and understand through it all, you are enough and you are worthy.

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All Rights Reserved.

15 FAITH - GROWING THROUGH DIFFICULTY

In reflection

Earlier today I found myself in reflection mode. I was ruminating on some of my life’s challenges and triumphs thus far and how those battles to overcome and rise above has shaped me and informed who I am today, how I think and in many ways how I reason.  In my introspection I began going through some affirmation readings to solidify lessons learnt when I encountered TODAY’S WORD sent to me by a friend from Joel & Victoria Osteen titled “Growing through Difficulty,” it begins…..

“These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold...” (1 Peter 1:7, NLT)

 “One thing we have to realize is that God is not going to deliver us from every difficulty. He is not going to keep us from every challenge. If He did, we would never grow.” --Joel Osteen

I thought to myself, hmmmm ok. I understand the reasoning. To experience true growth, a transformation to the birth of wisdom, knowing, to the elevation of self, one has to walk through the fire doing the necessary work in order to come out on the other side because…

“Our faith is tried in the fire of affliction.”

As much as I understand this, i.e. the premise of faith, trials through fire, the building of strength, hope and power to manage and triumph what is to come. I am challenged. I have to say in my humanness I am at times willfully resistant and my faith falters and doubt tauntingly seeps in bringing with it fear.  If I surrender even a little to fear it weakens the wall of my faith. Then  I am unwilling to step into the fire and embrace the necessary pain, singe, scorch, burn, disillusionment, sorrow, betrayals, inherent in walking through the tribulations in order to stand victorious.
Why you may ask, three words, I am imperfect. I don't want to experience the wrenching of my insides. Frankly, it just plain sucks and the struggle feels like an intention macabre disembowelment that makes avoidance and pretense though futile a seemingly attractive alternative.  Sounds crazy right?

At times it is so easy to get discouraged, to feel angry at our circumstances when life delivers a one two punch not allowing us time to breathe and recover before another series of blows knock us on our asses again. It is precisely in those moments when life kicks us in the teeth and we are flat on our face with our ass expose to the swift kick that may come that we need to hold strong to faith, to hold steady.

“When you’re in a tough time, that’s an opportunity for your faith to shine.” --Joel & Victoria Osteen

Faith is what will get us through. The true lesson in life is that we need to have faith through all of life’s challenges. We need to not take it for granted and assume that “faith” will automatically be there if we have done nothing to ensure that it is.

Our faith is key to our survival along with our willingness to fight. Faith renews of our spirit, it is the garden we need to nurture and mind. We need to maintain it, protect it and build it continuously while simultaneously strengthening ourselves to ensure that when life's test comes and it will undoubtedly come, our faith will be in tact, resilient and strong. All of which requires us to believe in the Divine, in ourselves, to be sure, to be ready, to be prepared, to be a warrior in our own lives for God helps those who help themselves. It is not enough to pray and say “Lord Lord” for help and sit and do nothing, waiting for a miracle to happen. We must be willing to do the work required so that when help comes we are ready and able to receive it.

Giving up is not an option, it cannot be because to give into despair ensures our defeat; it guarantees our disablement to rise and triumph over.

MY MESSAGE TO ALL OF US….

Keep the faith; hold on when you feel like giving up.

Yeah life can be a challenge but you are so worth the journey and worthy of the triumph.

Art: Soul Searching II by Dr D Ash Freeport

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* What are you thankful for today? – click & share on my Gratitude Journal

16 Life is what you think it?

Life is what you think.

Really?

It certainly brings to mind a myriad of mind boggling befuddling questions, implications and ramifications.

“The Happiness Hypothesis” by Johathan Haidt made me think, not only on the surface of things but beneath things, deep in the core of things.

Do we create our own experiences? Hmmmmm….

I have to give some more thought to this concept.

Stay with me while I pontificate (sound off)….

I certainly agree to a degree as I can see the merits of this hypothesis as an adult. However, I question its premise as it applies to (children) the child I was who experienced things way beyond my control or thought processes, before I was cognoscente and conscious of being.

I suppose therein lays my resistance as I don’t believe that children in their age of innocence are responsible for what is visited upon them by adults.

Though…. I do agree that….

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our mind.” --Johathan Haidt

 

Maybe therein is the answer….Our thoughts,

While we may not be responsible for some of what happens to us, how we think of those experiences as it pertains to how we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, how we think of ourselves and whether or not we allow those things/experiences to determine our self-worth, our value, to impact our self-esteem that affects the way we love, honor and accept ourselves is the key.

Hmmmmm….

How wonderfully liberating and simultaneously horrendously terrifying the reality of that concept is, how many of you out there believe that to be true?

Are we as a society, as individuals ready or willing to believe, acknowledge, consider or even give voice to the possibility that we are, each of us implicitly responsible for our lives and  the challenges, trials & tribulations that inevitable shape it?

Are we willing to embrace that, and if so, then what?

10 EXPECTATIONS

Expectations, pronounced ex·pec·ta·tion is neither bad or good it’s simply the art of expecting, waiting in eager anticipation.

Expectations can be complex, varied, and riddled with people's hopes and dreams. Frankly speaking it can set you up and take you down if it’s not managed well.

Who am I kidding? Expectations are at the nucleus of most ills. Don't believe me? Think of your core relationships, the heart of misunderstands stems from communicated expectations that is not in alignment with what you want or not communicated expectations from love ones that leaves you feeling dissatisfied, like you don’t measure up or you are not good enough.

Controversy often tends to follow expectations (communicated or not) if we are not willing to see, hear and understand the other's persons desires for their selves and their lives. the dilemma, the confusion, the struggle can cause heart break and disillusionment as we try to manoeuvre the weight of other people’s expectations that tries to dictate what we should do, what we ought to do, verses what you want to do and what you should know and shouldn't know verses what we do know. Sounds crazy right? Makes you want to throw up your hands and say, "bite me!" As intriguingly wonderful as that sounds and undoubtedly titillating to the mind it is not always practical or the best option if one wants/needs to maintain certain relationships. So what do we do when we hit that wall? We communicate.

Communication is the key to managing our expectations and those of others though it’s not always easy depending on the dynamic of the relationship. Understand however that even with the best of intentions and the verbalization on what you expect, it does not guarantee (sh*t) anything.  Right about now you probably thinking, 'so what's the point?' The point is we simply owe it to ourselves to try, to create an atmosphere foundation of transparency.

Expectations transparency allows the other person(s) the opportunity to make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to enter into an agreement, a relationship with you, to determine if they can live up to, fulfill or commit to that which you are expecting.

My point?

In order to get what you want you must be willing to lay your cards on the table and ask for what you want. Thus, allowing the person/persons the opportunity to show whether or not they are willing or interested in meeting, fulfilling one, many or any of your expectations; at which point you can either accept and stay or not accept and walk away.

Expectations must, yes I say MUST be communicated explicitly. You cannot hold anyone's foot to the fire (responsible) for failing to meet your expectations if you neglected to share what those expectations were. Neither can you hold them accountable for what you chose/consented to put up with, your decision/choice, your consequence.

Ask yourself this, are you honest and courageous enough to communicate exactly what you need and how you need it? Are you grown enough to listen to the expectations of others in your life and answer honestly if you are willing to deal or not?

Written by D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.

36 Trust Yourself-The Dilemma of Choice-Learn & Grow

If one decides to exercise the right NOT to choose for fear of failing, making a mistake or the wrong choice, then by the virtue of not choosing one has in fact chosen. Hence, one has elected to face the consequences of not choosing.

MY POINT:

Every single choice has a consequence, every one, the good ones and the not so good ones.

So, regardless of one’s decision, to choose or to not choose, one must deal with the outcome.

 

Which begs the question…..?

If one must face the consequences of choices, those made willingly and unwillingly, why not have a say in the matter since one is… by default inherently forced to live with? After all, seldom is every decision the best or right choice; sometimes it’s simply a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils until a better more feasible option presents itself.

 

The relevant truth to all this philosophical meandering am doing here is to say. Choices and its inherent end results allows us to grow and learn to become self-governing. Within every choice/consequence there are lessons, whether it is good, bad, or indifferent, there are lessons to be learnt.

So do not dwell morosely on the very human experience of sometimes making poor decisions, rather get the lessons therein designs specifically for you. Learn from your mistakes/missteps/mishaps, forgive yourself your humanness, implement lessons learnt into your landscape of knowledge, build your discernment, teach yourself to recognize the pattern of poor choice and try not to repeat errs in judgement.

Most of all, trust yourself.

Be a great day people.....much love.

A Side Note:

We not only learn from our own mistakes. We learn from the mistakes of others as we need not experience everything in order to learn and grow.

D.S.B.Rhapsody© All Rights Reserved.

16 TRUST

Art: Journey to you by Salaam Mohammad

Trust is one of the values I think we all (regardless of creed, class, ethnicity, nationality, religion) universally agree is very important to the health, maintenance and longevity of any relationship. Trust is the corner stone.

Trust

Trust cannot be bought; it cannot be stolen however it can be broken and lost.

Arguable I have heard some people say that trust can indeed be bought and stolen. I beg to differ. If one does manages to buy another’s “trust” is it truly trust they are purchasing or the illusion of trust. It is a delusion built with express purpose of influencing and misguiding others. How can real trust exist when one wilfully resorts to treachery, trickery and manipulation of another in order to gain it? That is debauchery.

What do you think, can trust be bought and stolen, and if so is it real trust?

How much is your trust worth?

18 WATER WASTE

Mindless waste is a tragedy. Water-sustenance for life, many take it for granted because it comes so effortlessly in most homes in Canada, with a twist of the tap/faucet like magic water appears in abundance. It is the excessive waste of this precious resource that really churns my gut and edges my teeth at the seemingly Laissez-faire attitudes toward its preservation. Case in point:

 

On July 10, 2013 I noticed a water main break near an apartment complex in Scarborough Ontario. The water flowed like a river. Every day I passed by this apartment complex the water is flowing endlessly and my heart bleeds because I remember in the Islands (Trinidad & Tobago) having to carry water every single day, in the morning before school, in the evening after school and on the weekends. We had to carry water for drinking, for washing, for cooking and for bathing. It was not easy. I remember sometimes in school I could still feel the bucket of water on my head and would at time be afraid to bend my head thinking the bucket of water was still there and I would spill it. At times I could feel the strain in my hands and arms from carrying the buckets of water. Carrying water-a way of life synonymous with breathing for many people that most people born here have no concept of and it all makes me shake my head in sad wonder at the carless nonchalance that permits those in charge to drag their feet at fixing these water main ruptures without much thought of the preciously lost resource.   

 

Today is August 2^nd, 23 more days since the break and today the 24^th day is the first time I see the city attempting to repair the damage. 24 days rivers of water flowed from dusk till dawn to dusk again, 576 hours of continuous clean flowing water running in the streets and canals, only God knows the thousands of litres of water gone, what a waste, what  a crying shame. My heart weeps because I know somewhere around the world some little boys and girls, women and men are carrying water for their daily existence.

22 Pondering on a word – “Expectation”

Expectation(s):

1. To look forward to something
2. To wait in hope
3. To anticipate
4. To predict
5. A probability that something may occur

Hmmmmmm….so much lessons sits at my core due to my presumptions of expectations. Lesson I am endeavoured to remember because of the lived experiences wish not to repeat.

I have found that often times Expectations can be the catalyst for disappointments and hurt feelings if the “expectations” is not managed or balanced well with the reality of people (their character, personality, & limitations), situations and circumstances.

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with hoping, dreaming, imagining possibilities it is wise to give equal consideration to the other side of the spectrum before anticipating, predicting and depending upon the hypostasis of possibilities of this or that. It is also wise where necessary to communicate expectations in order to avoid hurt feelings, bruised egos and misunderstandings.

It helps to remember such things as:

¹Individual thought (no two people think exactly alike and it is in sharing/communicating we begin to see what each other’s world look like & sound like thereby forming a bridge of understanding),

²Ethos (philosophies and cultures shapes, influences, informs and at times transforms how we think, believe, evaluate and reason)

³Values, (morals, ethics, ideals – things we hold true to ourselves emotionally, psychologically, politically, socially, spiritually may not necessarily have the same impact, though at times we may encounter those of like minds and views it is imperative we keep in mind the reality of the diverse variances.)

⁴Belief systems (what fuels, motivate and inspires us don’t always move and inspire others)

All of the above are shifting paradigms to match the diversity of human beings across the globe.

MINDFULNESS THOUGHT:

“Differences can be as beautiful as it can be ugly.”

QUESTION:

What are your thoughts on EXPECTATIONS?