In life, there is always a lesson to be learnt from every experience. What you do with, how you implement it and use it, is all up to you. Today I had to pause as I experienced a verbal whiplash by someone I held in high regard. I didn't allow myself to get defensive. Instead I listened. I didn't defend myself. I chose to listen. Why? Because, coming from this source, the behavior, the condescending, the combative defensiveness is not the norm. In fact in the decades of acquainted friendship I have never experienced this atomic verbal explosion. Instead of getting defensive or angry, I grew concerned and decided to not let any of the negatives adhere. I sat quietly on the other end of the line and I listened. There wasn't much I could contribute. I didn't get to same much, there was no room for it, other than the occasional monosyllabic empathic phrase. It was swift, powerful in its delivery. It was more a monologue than a dialogue. At the end of the heated diatribe. I gently hang-up the phone and sat in stunned silence. Taking deep breaths mentally sorted through all that I'd heard. I didn't question myself or examined what I said, there was no need. In the quiet of my self-care reflective check in I realized I'd have to extend some grace into the space of all that I heard, the things that were unsaid but clearly had a voice as it screeched in discordance. The pain, though unnamed echoed in every word and ping-pong in the atmosphere to be claimed. The deafening hysteria. I can do nothing to help. I can fix nothing. I can offer no solace or sucker. No I didn't get mad. I couldn't. What I can do, and I am doing, is holding a space of grace for which humanness can flow through.
D.S.B.S.Rhapsodyphoenix
Sometimes, it is best to just listen. At the appointed time, the appropriate response will often be revealed.
ReplyDelete