Sep 13, 2018

6 HE SCARED HIMSELF SHITLESS

I boarded the bus to the subway. Directly behind me was an Afro-Caribbean gentleman around his late forties early fifties. I moved out of the way so he cloud pass as I fumbled for my pass in the top flap of my bag. He politely waited. I held up my pass for the driver to inspect and moved in the bus and sat down.

The gentleman who stood behind me sat down in a three seater directly opposite me. His glasses poised on his bald head slid back a little as he adjusted himself in his seat. His movements jared the glasses and it slid further to the back of his head. Finally it happened. The glasses slid all the way down to the back of his neck. 

The man was so badly startled that he screamed out punching right and left like a prized fighter going for the TKO (technical knockout). The glasses flew back behind the seat and landed on the ground with a thud way back beneath the seat he sat on. Having realized it was his glasses he sat clutching his heart and breathing hard. The took a moment to collect himself then reached down to retrieve his glasses. He did not see it. Sitting in the opposite seat I saw clearly where the glasses lay. I said, "it's all the way back you'll need to crouch down to get it.

The man got up from his seat and crouched really low. He retrieved his glasses and promptly set it back atop his bald head. I smiled to myself and thought, 'clearly lesson not learnt'.

Photo credit: freepix.com

Sep 10, 2018

2 BUY ME A BEER


We stepped out of the office building into the sweltering Toronto heat. It enveloped us. On the side walks panhandles and drunks littered the side walks in front the liquor store.

"I have noticed that there are a lot more beggars and addicts around lately. I can seem to step out without some one begging me "spare some change." I am wondering what is the cause........"I trailed off as I stopped and took note of the scene. 

The sidewalk was usually busy with the transient. My friend to the right of me slowed and watched. As we navigated our way a woman approached my friend. Happy to escape I walked slightly ahead. I heard my ears cocked as I listened. 

"Can you give a $1, $2, 25 cents?" 
My friend said, "I have no change." 

Then came the kicker...
"so buy me a beer," says the woman.

I almost collapse in laughter as my friend stopped and her mouth dropped opened with an incredulous expression on her face. As she came towards me I heard her say, "unbelievable, I have never experienced anything like that in my life." I laughed then the answer hit me, 'the liquor store! That's why there's so much transient in the area.'

All through the ride friend kept saying, "unbelievable," I just smiled to myself.

Aug 30, 2018

12 HE ROARED AND ROARED!

It was a smooth subway ride that was surprisingly fast without delays or tunnel traffic stops. I was happy. I thought, 'I am making good time.'


Feeling good on making excellent time I boarded the streetcar on the last track of my commute. I sat quietly reading while waiting for it to take off. Across from me sat a Philippino young man in what seem like his early 20s. To the right of him on the ground sat his florescent green knapsack covered in grime and unsightly stains. He picked up his knapsack off the ground and searched around around a bit.  He eventually pulled out a bottle of coke and drank thirstily. He then put the rest of the coke back into his bag and dropped it unceremoniously on the ground. He moved restlessly on the seat. Although I continue to read I split my attention to pay attention to my surroundings.

The streetcar closed its doors and sped off. Halfway through the ride I noticed the young man moving more restlessly. His hands and feet would kick out in unexpected intervolves. I became more alert. I immediately put away my reading and sat with more awareness.  Instinct told me something was about to happen. I though I was ready. I thought I was alert. Suddenly he roared this rip roaring sound! I almost jumped out of my skin. I could see the startled faces of the passengers around me. Some people were visibly uncomfortable while others were frightened. Others moved back further into the streetcar while someone in the back yell out, "Stop taking drugs." 

I took deep breaths to calm myself. I sat with my back straight poised and ready to move quickly. Then it happened again. He roared again this time kicking out. I thought I was prepared. I was clearly not because I jumped again. Thankfully my stop was announced and i exited the streetcar with a prayer of thankfulness on my lips.

photo found at https://www.redvana.com/lion-roar-2 

Aug 27, 2018

4 SHE SITS PICKS HER TOE NAILS/BITES FINGER NAILS CONSECUTIVELY

The impromptu meeting was in full swing. As I communicated the benefits of working transparently and ethically I was distracted by an incessant snip snap. I searched an located the sound.

She sat diagonal across from me. One foot hanged down the other was propped in the chair seat as she clipped her toe nails. As I attempted to stay focused on the conversation the snip snap stopped. Relieved I looked up and schooled my figures when I saw her picking her feet then biting her fingernails. She went back and forth from toenails to fingernails. I grimace internally. 

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse she began to spit the bitten pieces of fingerfingers right there as if she were in a backyard. 

My face remained neutral but in my head my face was a scowl of eeewww. She stood up and asked politely, would like some tea and cake? I smiled and answered politely, "no thank you." 

Aug 16, 2018

6 SENIOR VS SENIOR

The streetcar was packed beyond capacity as people flowed passed the white line and stood on the front steps. At the next stop yet more people plied on as the passengers already in the streetcar tried to move back and make room. An elder  Caucasian woman stood on the front steps an argued with no one in particular that she's a senior and needs to sit down. She got no response. Dissatisfied by the non-reaction of others she turned to the woman she stood closest to who was seated in an entitled manner and said, "I am a senior I need to sit down."  Implying that she should vacate the seat. The woman seated, an obvious senior herself of Asian decent said to her, "I am a senior too," and remained seated. She looked at the woman standing with disdain, went hmmmm and faced forward chin high. Disgruntled and discontent the elder woman on the streetcar stairs became more vocal escalating her volume and launched into a diatribe of how seniors are supposed to be given seats and she is tired and needs to sit down. At first few paid attention to her monologue however eventually someone surrendered their seat to her. She pushed her way through the crowd and says thank you grudgingly but continues her soliloquy. I looked at her annoyed and said. "Please stop, someone has graciously offered you their seat, please be thankful and stop the complaining. Sit in grace and be quiet." She made some other remarks trying to engage another man sitting next to her, he ignored her, she had no other choice than to simply shut up.







cartoons found on google
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