Jan 14, 2021


God have mercy 🙏🏿 on us. We are in the 10 month of living under the rolling terror of Covid-19. Worldwide 1.98 million are dead and counting. The US death toll is almost at 400,000 and rising swiftly as is Canada with a death toll of 17,538 and rising! Though more people have survived (51 million), the harrowing journey to triumphant survival is reported to be akin to swallowing fire and brimstone. It feels like we are worst of now, than when the Covid pandemic started in early 2020 and there was very little knowledge about the virus! Why, because many people are not listening! The fricking worst part of all is the continued complicitness and wilful defiance to not follow the suggested precautions is that it is killing people! The consequence here of failed compliance is no simple slap on the wrist or pat on the back. The consequence is horrible suffering followed by death! I mean, wake to fuck up people!

Today, Thursday January 24, 2020, Premier Doug Ford has implemented an EMERGENCY STAY AT HOME ORDER for Ontarians to help stop the spread of Covid-19 and it's variants. The order is in effect for 28 days and mandates essential outings only! Work, Food, Medical Appointments, Pharmacy trips etc and once again there are those wilfully defiant jackasses shouting about "growing threats to our civil liberties." Are you fucking kidding me! People are dying, DYING! not by the hundreds but by the thousands and millions! How will your "civil liberties" serve you from the coffin or the grave?

I understand the constraints, the strains, the frustrations, the mental, emotional and psychological challenges of be closeted at home for those of us who are fortunate to have homes. To have our movements restricted, our behavior dictated by any other than ourselves is uncomfortably discomforting but you have to look at the bigger picture. You want to live to tell the tale. Yes, the fall out is huge, not to mention the impact to employment and income, it's a domino effect, for fucks sakes I am living it! Yeah, it's hard on so many levels, some days it's down right gloomy. But, I am LIVING it! The operative word LIVING! Hello! LIVING! 

Sure there are no guarantees in life and nothing is promised. But, no one with a lick of sense will knowingly run onto a busy highway with cars, trailers and trucks speeding in all directions to play hopscotch or dodgeball just because they could. In this pandemic the action of one affects many. The reality is, no one can swear and attest for another's movement. We all have to exercise care for ourselves and for others because what we do or fail to do  can result in serious illness and death. Know one says you have to like it or you even have to agree with the necessary course of action. Just do the needful and survive to bitch about it later when we've all triumph over Covid-19.

Jan 9, 2021


On my mind.... 'gratitude is an attitude' 

the way I see it...

Everyday is a blessing, though, there are some days it may feel like a curse. None the less, take it, day by day and when that becomes too much of a burden to carry. navigate it moment to moment.

Peace to you and yours.

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody Phoenix

Dec 23, 2020


It is always wise to pack your patience when shopping. 

Ahead of the shutdowns. Last Friday I did my grocery shopping. I wanted to be away from the crowd and long line ups and even longer lines to cash out. I was able to go in and out fairly quickly to Costco's, No Frills and with a slight hiccup at my fourth Walmart top as the first was a breeze. 

Walmart had lamb on sale. Unfortunately it sold out quickly at the location we were at. My sister and I googled other Walmart's in our area. There were 3 more. We hit those locations with no success. At the fourth location I picked up some chicken breast and supergreen pasta (broccoli, kale, spinach, asparagus) and proceeded to the cashier. There was an employee stationed on the floor to ensure customers adhered to the 2 meter social distancing. The good part, there were at least 20 cashier's. The bad, they all moved at a snails pace. As if that was not bad enough some customers made the tedious wait unbearable with their unpreparedness. 

Customers just made the process more monotonous. The one in front of me was chatting away with her partner. They did not have their wallets ready. When their turn came they emptied their cart one item at a time. The woman bent and picked up one item. The man waited in front the cart for her to give him the item, then he slowly put it on the cashier's conveyor belt. He did not help remove the items from the cart even though he as in a better position to retrieve them. I stood there thinking,' Lord give me strength,' as she paused in conversation and he waited and nodded to whatever she was saying. The item poised in mid transfer. The cashier stood waiting for them to finish, exasperation clearly written on her face. I sighed and rolled my eyes 🙄. Their cart finally emptied, they began the process of looking for their wallets. 

To distract myself and not lose my countenance I took out my phone and pulled up my book and read until it was my turn cash out.

Dec 7, 2020


Frayed, I breathe  

I feel at the end of my rope

like my hands are balled tight as I hang on,

to manage my stress …

I breathe to sooth the zing in my mind

I am fed up, frustrated and annoyed beyond compare

My muscles tightens as I clench my teeth and growl,

To manage my stress…

I breathe, nose wrinkled in an irritated frown

I breathe…

I am fucking aggravated with people who complain incessantly but refuse to rise up

They never part of the solution, won’t ever rise to the occasion


To cause drama

Evade accountability

to ...

create noise to disrupt and distract others from seeing their deceitfulness

A growled rises from the back of my throat

To manage my stress…

I have to breathe to be still

I count to 10 and back again ...

I breathe and contain myself remembering life lessons and values

I think, ‘this is why God is God.’

I wonderingly ask, ‘God, how do you tolerate the arrogant, underhanded conceited malevolence of humankind?

I pray…

Teach me Lord…

Guide me, show me, in the right way, by your will, in precisely the right time with right support and evidence.

I breathe…

I think, ‘this is why God is God’ but, I am not God I debate

I growl

I pray for guidance,

I pray for tolerance,

I pray for strategic maneuverability,

to navigate and out maneuver the enemy

I breathe …

I let go,

I am less weighted

I am lightened

I'm on track again

I breathe …

for reinforcement, for encouragement.

I'm ready to deal

At least I think I am

Lord …


I need Jesus.

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody Phoneix


Nov 2, 2020


You know that old saying, "knowledge is power." Well, it's true. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling my best plus I ran out of my meds. I decided I would go to the walk-in clinic + pharmacy 5 minutes from my house, to get a small refill till I can speak with my doctor. Last I checked, the hours read Mon - Fri 10 - 7pm, Saturday 10-2pm and Sunday 10 - 1pm. I left the house at 12:15, and reached there at 12:22. 

I opened the door and to my left was a young south Asian woman. I asked, "is the clinic open?" 
"No, the clinic only opens Mondays and Thursdays." Surprised, I said, "oh, the hours on the door says Sundays 10-1pm."
"Those hours are the operating time of the pharmacy." Ah I see, good to know." 

While waiting for the pharmacist she and I got to talking about medication classifications. I shared that I didn't know there were classification for medications (naive I know). Yes she confirmed, C grade not the best, the generic brand better than average and A grade, the best top of the line. As our conversation continued she suddenly stopped and whispered, "I'm not suppose to be telling you that. The pharmacist will talk to you in a few minutes as I am not authorized." I smiled and said, no problem." I didn't want to get her in trouble so I ended the conversation.

The pharmacist finished up with the other patron, she came towards me but I paused to open and hold the door for the patron, an elderly Caucasian woman to exit as she was using a walker. I then turned to the pharmacist. I explained I ran out of my meds and my doctor in miles away in the downtown core. She gave me 4 pills so I don't missed another day. Out of curiosity I ask do they have classifications to different medications. Her prompt answer was, "no, there is no such thing, I don't know where that information came from. I just looked at her because I know she is lying because I got my information from a pharmacist + the young lady intern I spoke to just confirmed. I then asked about some other over the counter medication. I was looking for specific as I knew the price $5+tax. She showed it to me and I took it for purchase along with another complementary cream. She ran up the meds that I know is $5+tax and told me $20. I said, "excuse, um, no. The price for this product is $ 5+tax. I know for a fact as I was here about 7 weeks ago and a South Asian gentleman tried selling it to me but I told him since I have a prescription and coverage I don't need to pay, since I can get the same equivalent in 3 tablets (50mg each) which is covered instead of one tablet (150mg) that is not covered. The price he quoted me was $5+tax. How is it you are now attempting to charge me $20?"

The pharmacist looked at me, smiled and said, "let me re-check the price." Which miraculously dropped back to $5 plus tax. I just looked at her dead in the eyes. 

Choosing my battles, I chose not to touch what we both know she tried to do. I paid for my products and left. It really pissed me off that they would do that. What if it is a person with a job with no benefits i.e medical coverage or worst yet, an unemployed person or an elderly with less than basic coverage? Where has honesty and integrity gone?  

She tried to charge me 3 times the value of the product, 3 times! I mean, what the fricking fracking is going here. Had I not known the real price, I would have paid and she would have happily rip me off! God save us from greedy mongrels.
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