2 SILENCE MUST BE USED STRATEGICALLY AND MINDFULLY

 Have you ever considered the value of silence?

Silence is powerful and can be weaponized depending on the context. It can be used to wound, to isolate, to perpetuate negativity, convey complicity, to build confidence, to inspire, convey respect or display quiet support. How you use "Silence" depends heavily on the character you cultivate and choice you choose when wheeling it.

Have you ever considered how have you chosen to use silence in the past? Given the opportunity in the same kind of situation and circumstance would you choose to apply it the same way for the same reason? If not, why, what has changed within you, your life, that would give you pause in applying the same silent tactic in the same way? Have you evolved into the better higher self or have you devolved into the, eye for an eye, take no prisoners, up yours ethos?

I have found that I tend to apply mindfulness thinking and reverse situational placement when it comes to to the myriad of ways I convey my silence though i certainly at times entertain the opposite. It goes something like..... 'If this were you, in  this same position with the same set of circumstances, how would you want someone's silence that is bearing witness to be conveyed on your behalf. Would you want it allocated intentionally advocational with compassion, understanding  empathy, and balanced reasoning, or wheeled in adversarial, complicit, accusatory, vengeful vindictiveness?'

Have you ever weaponized your silence? Did it benefit you?

7 ACCEPTANCE

 🌼 Acceptance

Acceptance does not mean agreeing or agreement.

It does not mean forcing yourself to like, want or desire any given situation, thing or circumstance. 

Acceptance simply means, you accept the things that you cannot change; and respect the boundaries in which those things are housed and bound.

It means, you surrender to that which you have no control and shift yourself accordingly to the reality of what IS.

If that means you walk away, then, you walk away.

If that requires you to be silent, then. you be silent.

If that requires you to do absolutely nothing, then, you do absolutely nothing.

No advise is necessary.

No debate is necessary.

No hate is necessary.

The only necessity is...

You, let it be.

🌼--DSBS Rhapsodyphoenix

9 LEARNING IS A CHOICE

We learn in many ways, involuntary being one of those ways, often categorized as, learning by osmosis. 

I dare say that everyday there is something new to learn. However, I think the most impactful learning is by choice, where one refuses to be held in petulant resistance due to disillusionment but rather choose to push through all its constraints and disappointments into self-enlightenment.

My Young Self:

I use to think that people who've endured traumatic hardships were the wisest. I don't know why really. I guess my thinking processes were along the lines of, 'if one suffered great hardships they ought to be lessons attained from the experiencing.' At least I thought they should be. Well, you know the saying about when one assume (Ass-U-Me).

My Older Self:

What I've learnt observationally and in relationships is that suffering does not guarantee learning, nor does it automatically equal wisdom. Truth is, in order for wisdom to bloom, to take root and manifest, it must first have fertile soil in which to germinate. The soil of willing introspection and accountability. The germination comes with the willingness to shift, to invite change, to examine ones self critically without judgement, and to, of ones own free will, take accountability and responsibility for ones personal growth. 

Wisdom comes with action (it does not work otherwise), the action of your incentive participation in ones own growth. Hence, you making the choice to, learn from your mistakes, from your poor judgments/decision making, and from your unwillingness to get out of your own way siphoned from willful stubbornness; thus the lessons that births wisdom propelling you into your own excellence.

Learning is a choice

It's Accountability 

It is the gift, you give yourself

Wisdom is the tool you gain 

by which you can then USE 

to navigate the world

If you choose not to learn, 

you are guaranteeing your own 

pain and suffering.

If you fail to be accountable 

For your words, ACTIONS and behaviour

You are choosing to be right in your wrongness to save FACE 

Thus, creating your own ISOLATION and assuring, you will always feel 

alone and misunderstood. 

Nobody's perfect. 

Perfection is a phantasm to self-delusion

Everybody has to learn in order to grow 

to reach their excellence. 

There is a absolutely no shame in that.

4 IN THE GROCERY CHECKOUT LINE - MOISTURIZER?

Some days, you see things that open your eyes to the diversity of how people utilize things.

The line was long curving around several isles to the very last aisle to the inside back of the building.  Grocery carts, baskets on the floor filled to brim, people with groceries loading down their arms, heads bobbing, hips swaying, shoulders moving rhythmically to the music coming from the ceiling, stood 6 ft apart. The forward momentum flowed like molasses. In front of me stood an afro Caribbean woman, dressed in mid thigh brown shorts and a faded mustard color top that passed me on the street yapping on her cellphone. She yapped along steadily, and loud, barely seeming to pause for breath. Behind me was a black man in his mid to late forties (40s) surveying the freezers stocked robustly with ice creams, tarts, cheese cakes, birthday cakes, popsicles, lollies, sorbets and yogurts. 

Every once in a while as the line inched along I could hear the drag of his basket on the floor as he used his foot to shove it forward.  As I turned slightly to survey the guilty sinful delights taunting me as I mentally lectured myself of their hazards to my health, I saw in my periphery he was bent over. I heard a snap then a thunk as if something fell. I turned at the sound and saw a bottle of Crisco oil, it's contents shaking. I looked up to see the man rubbing his hands vigorously together, moisturizing between his fingers and then up his arms back to front straight up to the elbows. He paused, smelled his hands and gave himself a small nod as if to say, "it's not too bad'. I thought, 'did he just cream his skin with Crisco oil, nah couldn't be.' Doubtful, I took another surreptitious look at the man's basket and there almost winking at me was the Crisco oil. There were no creams in his basket. I thought, 'hmmmmmm mmmmmm, mind your business, to each, his own,' and moved on to the cash register number 4 as it was my turn. Mentally, I reasoned, 'people use Olive oil, avocado 🥑 oil, coconut 🥥 oil as moisturizers, why not Crisco oil?'

2 KNOW YOUR POSITION IN PEOPLE'S LIVES

It is wise to understand the priority position you occupy in the lives of the people around you and with whom you regularly communicate and interact. The knowledge will help you in managing your expectations and accepting the quality of the relationship. 

The realty is sometimes we position people high on our priority list who may have us lowly positioned on theres or we may not even make their list.  

Understanding where you're located on someone's priority list does not determine your value as a human being. It does however teaches you how much of you to invest. 

A simple truth. People make time for what and who they feel is important. They do not make excuses, they make the time.

Every relationship carries with it an investment of time, physical presence, emotion and energy, all of which has value. Not everyone is worthy of that investment thus, there is wisdom in knowing. 

Fact: You cannot make someone care for you or about you. You cannot force someone to prioritize you in their life. You cannot force someone to make time for you or spend time with you. Their unwillingness to prioritize you, has nothing to do with you or your worth. In fact their active demonstration of none reciprocation of caring, lack of prioritizing is a good thing even though it feels shitty. 

Why is their lack of  prioritization a good thing? It is a good thing because it teaches you the importance of not investing in others who is not willing to be equally invested in you. 

Moral of the story:

Know your worth, and understand the significance of the value of your time and energy, and all that you have to consistently offer.

D.S.B.S Rhapsody Phoenix