Oct 17, 2021

2 THE TRUTH ISN'T ALWAYS WELCOMED & THE IMPACT OF SPEAKING IT, ISN'T ALWAYS ALLURING

Truth is often asked for, demanded and almost always never truly welcomed. Growing up as a child in the midst of elders I have had the pleasure and privilege to traverse many cultures, religions, traditions, ethos and practices. I know from the living experience that we are not as different as we perceive ourselves to be. In fact, we are indeed more alike than we are different. What manifests as "different" is really just the myriad of diversification of doing things, the naming of things, the expressing of those same things and philosophies of lessons learnt wrapped in the explanations/explaining. Our experiences - socio-economical, spiritual, financial, the good, the not so great, the traumatic, bad, horrifying, aids in the coloring,  and reshaping the way we see things and influences and impact our telling, retelling, of our stories, histories, traditions and cultural practices and nuances. So many things that appear different in practice if were to be systematically deconstructed to its core foundation, it is pretty much the same. 

One of these standard sameness that runs through, I dare say, most cultures ethos, is the belief systems on truth, in the telling of it and in the of living it. Heck I'd bet most people can remember as children being taught the value of truth. Even the bible foretells, "Ye shall know truth and the truth shall make you free." --John 8:32 KJV. 

"Ye shall know truth and the truth shall make you free," very true statement. Now while this is true, there are some truths within this truth, that is not told, that should be told. At least laid clear in preparation of what may come. 

What is not often shared about truth is, what happens between the telling of the truth, and reaching eventual freedom that it promises to bring. The bridge from truth to freedom is not always smooth and can be a tumultuous journey to attaining "freeness". It is some of this realness of the consequential realities  of speaking, walking, living in rawness truth telling untattered by excuses that is missing. Often we taught the abridged version, "Ye shall know truth and the truth shall make you free." 

The abridged version is inadequate because it leaves you vulnerable. No-one warns of the possible backlash from telling the truth. No one tells you it can be traumatizing, that you can be abandoned, isolated, alienated by loved ones, friends, colleagues, for speaking the truth. That you may have to, for a little while walk alone, that you may have to be your own champion, your biggest believer, fighter, motivator and strongest advocate. All those possible realities are left out of the discussion about speaking truth. Thus most are not prepared to navigate its complexity should any of it be a reality. This is where our parents, guardians, mentors, loved ones fail us. 

They fail us by not telling the whole truth about what it may mean to tell the truth, about what may come as a result of revealing the truth. About the possibilities of what may arise as a result of others hearing and receiving and not believing the truth. We are told enough about truth to inspire us to speak it and live it. However, we are not told enough to prepare ourselves, to help prevent ourselves from being knocked on our asses and blindsided, if the receiving is not with openness and grace but rather with doubtful disbelieving, defiance and aggression. 

The truth about truth should be taught in its entirety, the good, the bad, the ugly. It cannot, must not be taught halfway. The knowledge of it should not be hidden and manipulated to dictate a particularly desired behavior/outcome because it leaves the learner unaware of its incompleteness open to be eviscerated. Not being sufficiently prepared leaves us at a deficit. It leaves us emotionally and psychologically unarmed and ill equipped to combat the disillusionment cumulating in a struggle to navigate the disenchantment fatigue in which we can lose ourselves. 

D.S.B.S Rhapsodyphoenix


Oct 6, 2021

5 SILENCE MUST BE USED STRATEGICALLY AND MINDFULLY

 Have you ever considered the value of silence?

Silence is powerful and can be weaponized depending on the context. It can be used to wound, to isolate, to perpetuate negativity, convey complicity, to build confidence, to inspire, convey respect or display quiet support. How you use "Silence" depends heavily on the character you cultivate and choice you choose when wheeling it.

Have you ever considered how have you chosen to use silence in the past? Given the opportunity in the same kind of situation and circumstance would you choose to apply it the same way for the same reason? If not, why, what has changed within you, your life, that would give you pause in applying the same silent tactic in the same way? Have you evolved into the better higher self or have you devolved into the, eye for an eye, take no prisoners, up yours ethos?

I have found that I tend to apply mindfulness thinking and reverse situational placement when it comes to to the myriad of ways I convey my silence though i certainly at times entertain the opposite. It goes something like..... 'If this were you, in  this same position with the same set of circumstances, how would you want someone's silence that is bearing witness to be conveyed on your behalf. Would you want it allocated intentionally advocational with compassion, understanding  empathy, and balanced reasoning, or wheeled in adversarial, complicit, accusatory, vengeful vindictiveness?'

Have you ever weaponized your silence? Did it benefit you?

Sep 6, 2021

7 ACCEPTANCE

 🌼 Acceptance

Acceptance does not mean agreeing or agreement.

It does not mean forcing yourself to like, want or desire any given situation, thing or circumstance. 

Acceptance simply means, you accept the things that you cannot change; and respect the boundaries in which those things are housed and bound.

It means, you surrender to that which you have no control and shift yourself accordingly to the reality of what IS.

If that means you walk away, then, you walk away.

If that requires you to be silent, then. you be silent.

If that requires you to do absolutely nothing, then, you do absolutely nothing.

No advise is necessary.

No debate is necessary.

No hate is necessary.

The only necessity is...

You, let it be.

🌼--DSBS Rhapsodyphoenix




Aug 26, 2021

9 LEARNING IS A CHOICE


We learn in many ways, involuntary being one of those ways, often categorized as, learning by osmosis. 

I dare say that everyday there is something new to learn. However, I think the most impactful learning is by choice, where one refuses to be held in petulant resistance due to disillusionment but rather choose to push through all its constraints and disappointments into self-enlightenment.

My Young Self:
I use to think that people who've endured traumatic hardships were the wisest. I don't know why really. I guess my thinking processes were along the lines of, 'if one suffered great hardships they ought to be lessons attained from the experiencing.' At least I thought they should be. Well, you know the saying about when one assume (Ass-U-Me).

My Older Self:
What I've learnt observationally and in relationships is that suffering does not guarantee learning, nor does it automatically equal wisdom. Truth is, in order for wisdom to bloom, to take root and manifest, it must first have fertile soil in which to germinate. The soil of willing introspection and accountability. The germination comes with the willingness to shift, to invite change, to examine ones self critically without judgement, and to, of ones own free will, take accountability and responsibility for ones personal growth. 

Wisdom comes with action (it does not work otherwise), the action of your incentive participation in ones own growth. Hence, you making the choice to, learn from your mistakes, from your poor judgments/decision making, and from your unwillingness to get out of your own way siphoned from willful stubbornness; thus the lessons that births wisdom propelling you into your own excellence.

Learning is a choice
It's Accountability 
It is the gift, you give yourself

Wisdom is the tool you gain 
by which you can then USE 
to navigate the world

If you choose not to learn, 
you are guaranteeing your own 
pain and suffering.

If you fail to be accountable 
For your words, ACTIONS and behaviour
You are choosing to be right in your wrongness to save FACE 
Thus, creating your own ISOLATION and assuring, you will always feel 
alone and misunderstood. 

Nobody's perfect. 
Perfection is a phantasm to self-delusion
Everybody has to learn in order to grow 
to reach their excellence. 
There is a absolutely no shame in that.

Aug 14, 2021

4 IN THE GROCERY CHECKOUT LINE - MOISTURIZER?

Some days, you see things that open your eyes to the diversity of how people utilize things.

The line was long curving around several isles to the very last aisle to the inside back of the building.  Grocery carts, baskets on the floor filled to brim, people with groceries loading down their arms, heads bobbing, hips swaying, shoulders moving rhythmically to the music coming from the ceiling, stood 6 ft apart. The forward momentum flowed like molasses. In front of me stood an afro Caribbean woman, dressed in mid thigh brown shorts and a faded mustard color top that passed me on the street yapping on her cellphone. She yapped along steadily, and loud, barely seeming to pause for breath. Behind me was a black man in his mid to late forties (40s) surveying the freezers stocked robustly with ice creams, tarts, cheese cakes, birthday cakes, popsicles, lollies, sorbets and yogurts. 

Every once in a while as the line inched along I could hear the drag of his basket on the floor as he used his foot to shove it forward.  As I turned slightly to survey the guilty sinful delights taunting me as I mentally lectured myself of their hazards to my health, I saw in my periphery he was bent over. I heard a snap then a thunk as if something fell. I turned at the sound and saw a bottle of Crisco oil, it's contents shaking. I looked up to see the man rubbing his hands vigorously together, moisturizing between his fingers and then up his arms back to front straight up to the elbows. He paused, smelled his hands and gave himself a small nod as if to say, "it's not too bad'. I thought, 'did he just cream his skin with Crisco oil, nah couldn't be.' Doubtful, I took another surreptitious look at the man's basket and there almost winking at me was the Crisco oil. There were no creams in his basket. I thought, 'hmmmmmm mmmmmm, mind your business, to each, his own,' and moved on to the cash register number 4 as it was my turn. Mentally, I reasoned, 'people use Olive oil, avocado 🥑 oil, coconut 🥥 oil as moisturizers, why not Crisco oil?'

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