21 THE CHALLENGE OF PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE

Commuting into the city everyday at times can be an exercise in patience and tolerance. Some days it's like climbing a steep mountain in wet flipflops with a 20 gallon jug of water on your head .

This morning my commute to work was akin to a steep mountain climb in wet flipflops and a 20 gallon jug of water. I had to breathe deeply with a prayer on a continuous loop in my brain as I employed my patience and rachet up my tolerance. While the first trek of my journey was fairly uneventful the second leg proved anything but. I put away my my lastest novel MAVERICK by Lora Leigh  and made my way to the streetcar platform.

The designated waiting area for the streetcar was packed. There were two very long lines with dozens of kids on a school trip. I watched the notification clock - 15 minutes. I sighed as the numbers slowly decreased. In front me, beside me, behind me people complained and mumbled their displeasure at the long wait. I breathe deeply and waited.

After 15 minutes the streetcar arrived. It was pandemonium. We were all packed in. I was to the very front with no wiggle room. It was noisy as the kids chirped away loudly. By the third stop an elderly causcasian woman got up and attempted to push her way pass me. I said, "I ma'am I am not able to move. When the driver stops at your stop and open the door we will make room for you to exit." "It is stopped now, move," she said. She is literally in my face. I pulled back slightly took a deep breath and repeated, "ma'am I am not able to move, as soon as the driver stops at your stop and opens the door we will make room for you to exit."  She looks at me and sneers, "you just think you own the world don't you." I looked at her and said, "stop it." She starts again and this time the driver tells her, "ma'am they cannot move, I will open the door the next stop and you will have room to get out." She looks at me and started to argue. I said while I pray for patience and tolerance, "stop it, stop this, we will make room for you to leave, just stop."

The streetcar arrives at her stop and people step off temporarily, I was able to move out of the way for her yet she began to argue again. The driver said to her, "enough, look everyone made room for you to pass, be joyful, stop this, have a blessed day." She did not even say thank you. I thought, 'sweet Lord give me strength and endurance to navigate peoples ignorance. The next stop was mine. I was glad to be off and be done with it at least for the next 8 hours.

0 SOME DAYS, MOMENT TO MOMENT IS THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION

Some days I feel like I'm on top of the world and anything that comes my way it's conquerable.

Some days I feel like the world is on top of me and every breath takes an extraordinary moment of will from inhalation to exhalation.

It is on these days, that moment to moment is the only prescription necessary to strategically and safely navigate the tumultuous challenges in presence. It allows for space to breathe and bask in the privilege of every breath and affirm life before engaging in the process of dealing. 

2 SUNSETS

I love taking pictures of the sunset it soothes me.

4 LEARNING IS A CHOICE

We learn in many ways, involuntary being one of those ways, often categorized as, learning by osmosis. 

I dare say that everyday there is something new to learn. However, I think the most impactful learning is by choice, where one refuses to be held in petulant resistance due to disillusionment but rather choose to push through all its constraints and disappointments into self-enlightenment.

My Young Self:

I use to think that people who've endured traumatic hardships were the wisest. I don't know why really. I guess my thinking processes were along the lines of, 'if one suffered great hardships they ought to be lessons attained from the experiencing.' At least I thought they should be. Well, you know the saying about when one assume (Ass-U-Me).

My Older Self:

What I've learnt observationally and in relationships is that suffering does not guarantee learning, nor does it automatically equal wisdom. Truth is, in order for wisdom to bloom, to take root and manifest, it must first have fertile soil in which to germinate. The soil of willing introspection and accountability. The germination comes with the willingness to shift, to invite change, to examine ones self critically without judgement, and to, of ones own free will, take accountability and responsibility for ones personal growth. 

Wisdom comes with action (it does not work otherwise), the action of your incentive participation in ones own growth. Hence, you making the choice to, learn from your mistakes, from your poor judgments/decision making, and from your unwillingness to get out of your own way siphoned from willful stubbornness; thus the lessons that births wisdom propelling you into your own excellence.

Learning is a choice

It's Accountability 

It is the gift, you give yourself

Wisdom is the tool you gain 

by which you can then USE 

to navigate the world

If you choose not to learn, 

you are guaranteeing your own 

pain and suffering.

If you fail to be accountable 

For your words, ACTIONS and behaviour

You are choosing to be right in your wrongness to save FACE 

Thus, creating your own ISOLATION and assuring, you will always feel 

alone and misunderstood. 

Nobody's perfect. 

Perfection is a phantasm to self-delusion

Everybody has to learn in order to grow 

to reach their excellence. 

There is a absolutely no shame in that.

16 WHO HAVE YOU BETRAYED WITH YOUR SILENCE?

"THERE COMES A POINT WHEN SILENCE IS BETRAYAL." --Martin Luther King jr.

This is absolute truth. This truth should  cause us to pause and examine our own behaviours  to do some serious introspection and to ask the tough question, who have I betrayed with my silence? 

Often as human beings we confide and share with others our hurts, neglect, abandonment, dissapointments and oppressions in order to heal and overcome however it may not occurr to us that we ourselves may be a villian in someone else's story.

It is important that we hold ourselves accountable for how we treat others and be mindful of what we say, do and the impact it may have. 

While we are not perfect we can learn how to be empathetic and kind. The old adage of "treat others the way you would like to be treated" always applies.