0 MO YOU'RE NOT ❍ YES I AM

I took a quick trip to Kensington Market as y lunch break to pick up some freshly baked bread and some cheese. While on my way back I topped and sat on Hugh concrete bolder and made a cheese sandwich caveman style. No knife to make delicate slices rather ripped pieces of bread and broken uneven pieces of cheese slapped hastily inside. I hadn't eaten for the day and I was famished. As I sat and ate my deliciously impromptu cheese sandwich 2 men of Asian decent walked by in conversation. As I took another bite if my sandwich to apise my stomach I heard.…

"I am retarded," says the man to the far right.

"No you're Not," exclaimed the an to his left.

"Yes I am. I am regarded."

As the conversation they walked I heard the man left of him say…

"You know psychologist says that when you are abuse and called names as a child…"

I finished the statement mentally for him…"you internalized those false beliefs of yourself and keep reinforcing them and reliving the experience hindering yourself from rising to excellence."

LESSON…

It is wise to investigate our internal dialogue and where deconstruct its falsehoods and reconstruct with positive acclamations and the truth of ones authenticity.

0 OIBLIC TRANSIT - ALK THE COMFORTS OF HOME?

Observation on the train…

She walks into the train car and puts her bag in the corner seat fluffing it like a pillow,. She sits on the middle seat swinging her feet up and around the center pole and stretchs her legs across the 3rd seat and rests her feet in the middle of the 2 seater. Occupying 5 seats she adjusts herself and promptly goes to sleep. Amazingly enough no one disturbed her even when the trained became packed to capacity. All the comforts of home.

0 FACE FULL OF WEED/GANJA

I don't care if you smoke Marijuana, Ganja, weed whatever you call it . I d"on't give a rats ass. Here is what I care about, your deliberate obtuseness that allows you to arrogantly think it's ok to stand next to me and blow your shit in my face. The fact that you had to be told to be mindful of others is a valid argument as to why you should abstain from engaging in socking on the ganja stick.

I didn't asked to be subjected to your second hand smoke nor did I ask to stink like a vat fill of weed pee. So please a little consideration would be nice.

Fuck…move down wind asshole! Don't exercise your right on my back at my expense. Liberate yourself somewhere else. I am not telling you not to smoke, hell light up your ass like it's independence day I don't give a hum dingum just don't blow your shit in my face!

Photo credit: Google/ Photo found online…

1 DELIBERATELY DEAF TO THE WORLD

Earphones in she glides by flash her presto card in front of the auto pay debit machine and kept on walking.

"Excuse me miss! Miss! Miss! Your card didn't work, said the bus driver. 

A woman in the chair opposite me stood up pointed to herself and ask, "me?" 

"No," the driver said gesturing to back. Then his fingers seemed to land on me, I stood and quizzically looked at him because I didn't use a card. "No," he said as he pointed pass me. 

"Miss, miss, miss!" He called to no avail. It took every passenger in a relay point to finally get to her and still she was not able to hear. It took the passenger seated next to her tap on her shoulder to get her attention. "Me?" She asked and pointed to herself. 

"Yes you, your card did not work. I tried calling you as you passed by me but you had your headphones and didn't hear me not did you hear the machine beeped indicating your card is empty."

"Oh, I am so sorry," she said as she removed the ear bud from one ear as she navigated her way to the front of the bus. She retrieved her card and flash it again. The machine emitted this waaap sound. She said, "oh, I have money, how much is the fare, $3:20?" 

"$3.55 said the driver. She paid, reinserted the earbud and resumed her seat.

I thought, 'wow ok, lesson lost?'

9 HE BEATS HER WHILE SHE SAT PASSIVELY TAKING THE BEATINGS

I boarded the bus on my way to work. As I navigated the stroller with two kids parked precariously. I passed by with a twist of the hip and sat down. I saw from my peripheral right a shadowed up and down movement. I turned my head toward the movement and saw the eldest child (no more than 6/7) in the front of the stroller hit his mother 3 or 4 times. It shook me. I stared at her in shock. She sat passively as if it never happened. I blinked thinking 'oh hell no!' In my Caribbean culture that simply don't happen. As I looked on he raised his hand and hit her 4 more times. I could take no more. It was too much for me. I shouted, "don't hit your mother, stop it." Paying me absolutely no attention he hauled off and smacked her harder. She flinched from the blow. Unable to bear continued witness to the abusive behavior I turned to her and said, "you cannot allow him to hit you without disciplining him. By sitting passively and taking his beatings you are sending the message that it is OK to be violent in order to get what he wants. You are in essence teaching him that his behaviour is good because it gives him what he desires. What do you think would happen as he gets older if left unchecked?"

She said, "OK, thank you," and calmly gave the child the cellphone. He slapped her 3 more times and took it.

I was infuriated. I looked at her thinking, 'she is raising somebody's husband, a man that will surely beat his significant other to get his way?' Don't get me wrong I understand that what I witnessed can be a small insight to a much bigger problem. He could be mimicking what he sees at home (his father domineering his mother). But dammit I can't stand that shit. I don't want to bear witness to it to have it add to the landscape of my observed experience. I just don't. I abhor violence in any form.

MESSAGE TO BOTH PARENTS

Discipline is not the F word. You are your children's guide until they learn to navigate their world and take over their self-governance YOU ARE IT. Your job is to teach them right from wrong, action and consequence, how to navigate their emotions - to take time out to breathe when they are feeling overwhelmed and express their selves in ways that is affirming. Your purpose is to teach them self-respect and the value of choices. If you don't know how then Learn! But for God sakes don't raise your child to become a bully, an abuser, a statistic, a loser in action, word and deed. 

While we may have no say in what they do when they are grown and self-governing you are responsible when the are little human beings for laying a solid foundation of respect, truth, integrity, honor, self-sufficiency and hard work. Understand this, as a parent you teach not only by what you do and say, you also teach by what you don't do, fail to do and don't say and fail to say. You are the template and they are watching and mimicking you.

MESSAGE TO MOTHERS WITH SONS

You are raising the men of tomorrow, the future. Wake up! You have a hand in who they become. Teach your son's to be self-sufficient, to cook, to clean, to love and respect their selves and to be respectful, compassionate, strong and empathetic. You have to give them the tools which they can use to navigate the world. You have to send them out equipped and confident not lacking, slacking, self-depreciating and insecure.