Sep 20, 2014

10 EXPECTATIONS

truth is like a lionExpectations, pronounced ex·pec·ta·tion is neither bad or good it’s simply the art of expecting, waiting in eager anticipation.

Expectations can be complex, varied, and riddled with people's hopes and dreams. Frankly speaking it can set you up and take you down if it’s not managed well.

Who am I kidding? Expectations are at the nucleus of most ills. Don't believe me? Think of your core relationships, the heart of misunderstands stems from communicated expectations that is not in alignment with what you want or not communicated expectations from love ones that leaves you feeling dissatisfied, like you don’t measure up or you are not good enough.

Controversy often tends to follow expectations (communicated or not) if we are not willing to see, hear and understand the other's persons desires for their selves and their lives. the dilemma, the confusion, the struggle can cause heart break and disillusionment as we try to manoeuvre the weight of other people’s expectations that tries to dictate what we should do, what we ought to do, verses what you want to do and what you should know and shouldn't know verses what we do know. Sounds crazy right? Makes you want to throw up your hands and say, "bite me!" As intriguingly wonderful as that sounds and undoubtedly titillating to the mind it is not always practical or the best option if one wants/needs to maintain certain relationships. So what do we do when we hit that wall? We communicate.

Communication is the key to managing our expectations and those of others though it’s not always easy depending on the dynamic of the relationship. Understand however that even with the best of intentions and the verbalization on what you expect, it does not guarantee (sh*t) anything.  Right about now you probably thinking, 'so what's the point?' The point is we simply owe it to ourselves to try, to create an atmosphere foundation of transparency.

Expectations transparency allows the other person(s) the opportunity to make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to enter into an agreement, a relationship with you, to determine if they can live up to, fulfill or commit to that which you are expecting.

My point?

In order to get what you want you must be willing to lay your cards on the table and ask for what you want. Thus, allowing the person/persons the opportunity to show whether or not they are willing or interested in meeting, fulfilling one, many or any of your expectations; at which point you can either accept and stay or not accept and walk away.

Expectations must, yes I say MUST be communicated explicitly. You cannot hold anyone's foot to the fire (responsible) for failing to meet your expectations if you neglected to share what those expectations were. Neither can you hold them accountable for what you chose/consented to put up with, your decision/choice, your consequence.

Ask yourself this, are you honest and courageous enough to communicate exactly what you need and how you need it? Are you grown enough to listen to the expectations of others in your life and answer honestly if you are willing to deal or not?

Written by D.S.B.S.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.

10 comments:

  1. Well I’m back again…eek….lol….yup just doing some reading in your blog, Oh and before I forget(how rude,of me) I forget to say hi…..

    Expectation: (Pssssssh, before I comment on this I just wanted to say, your spelling is awsome, like I don’t know if you like use a dictionary or if it’s like of the top of your head so to speak. But it’s frik’n great, wish I could say the same for mines) anyways…yada yada yada…now where was I, oh ya….

    After reading your piece on expectation, I couldn’t agree more,let me explain, and this is a true story, so unlike my fictional tale, this story will not wind and twist like me doing the hoola hoop at my 11th birthday party…lol

    Well When I first met my boyfriend, it was your classic "omg omg omg I’m in love".( and I still am now, but just let me explain) and after about a say a year, we started to have serious problems. Well like things had gotten so bad that I had fantasies about!@#%!* him up. He completely got on my nerve and it drove me nuts, but the weird thing is he had no idea I felt this way, well why you ask, "me no communicate me "expectations" to me wuby"….lol classic, coming from miss rage herself, I know…it’s just that my feelings for him, and I truly felt like he was the one, and deep down inside I just wanted it to work, but I was afraid (yes me afraid) that I might lose him.
    Well it wasn’t until, roughly about 16 months into our relationship when I finally decided to speak up. I love him dearly but I wasn’t going to continue to rip my hair out and then turn around and make out with him. And I’m so glad that we both explained to each other what we “expected" from one another. Sure it’s not all "peaches in a hand basket"(my nan always says that…thanks for the quote nan…lol) But ya know what, at least we now know what to expect from each other….Take care hun I love your blog……

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha....spelling huh, well some is me but i can't take all the credit, the dictionary spell check gets some too. Its great that you learnt and then put it into practice, that's what life is about, learning and growing.

      Delete
  2. Morning Rhapsody.....

    And what a lovely post nodding in agreement to every sentence here.

    I like this """ point is we simply owe it to ourselves to try, to create an atmosphere foundation of transparency"""

    Says it all because sometimes when we choose to ignore fundamental communicated information, we then turn round and blame the other person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Morning Barefoot Countessa:
      Yes often we don't want to take account but we want to blame and shame.

      Delete
  3. As usual, my friend, you have said a mouth full and said it very well. I agree completely with everything you have shared here. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece on expectations.

    Have a good day and a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you....
      |Yeah sometimes i need to empty my mouth, luckily only good things spill forth.
      Good weekend to you to

      Delete
  4. Couldn't agree more. Uncommunicated expectations can be the crack the leads to the ultimate demise of our relationships.

    ReplyDelete

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