I was reminded last night of a saying "When people show you who they are, believe it."
My take away from that lesson is, do not waste time and energy in shock, disillusionment and disbelief. Do not wallow in hurt and sadness rather believe what you are hearing, seeing and experiencing from the demonstrated behaviour, actions and words of revelation exposed then move into acceptance and shift accordingly.
I had a conversation with someone in the interest of transparency for the sake of clarity. I am a big believer in operating in integrity and one of the ways I do so is through transparency - clear communication to forestall misunderstandings and assumptions. At no time during the one on one communicative exchange did this person express what they truly felt. At the time it "seemed" a genuine exchange of ideas and a healthy debate. Wow was I wrong and completely off the mark. I was so off Mark I might as well have been on the opposite side of the world in another time zone. At a committee meeting I listened to him express himself in total contradiction to our talk as he levelled less than flattering remarks and comments.
I leaned back in my chair, looked at him taking it all in then asked, why did you not say this when we spoke? His response was mocked sacarism. I thought, 'ah, thank you for showing me who you are.' I immediately let go of any shock or hurt at the revelations communicated via words, body language, facial expressions and barely veiled contempt . I accepted what I saw, heard and experienced based on his behaviour. I've learnt long ago that truth cannot be debated, it simply IS.
At the end of the meeting there was a half hearted attempt to excuse the exchange and swallow his true regurgitated thoughts. I simply said, "don't worry about it, I thank you for the lessons. I've learnt a lot. I see you. I understand, goodnight."
MINDFULNESS THOUGHT
While the truth may not always be digestible, for me, it is the best place to start and work from no matter the navigational discomfort.
Jan 4, 2020
10 comments:
You Are Enough. Right here, Right now, In this moment, YOU. ARE. ENOUGH!
By All Means Speak Your Mind. However, Please Observe These 3 Basic Rules.
1. No form of abuse is allowed, everyone is entitled to their point of view (pov) as we all see and articulate the world differently, be respectful and speak without offending.
2. Please stay on the topic of discussion
3. Agree to Disagree
So what say you?
Note: All content here are mine unless otherwise noted. All photographs are taken by me again, unless otherwise noted.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Truth! When I saw the quote from the great Maya Angelou - "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time" I related it to all of the abusers in the world, who eventually show their true colors. I'm so sorry you had to go through something like this with a friend and co-worker. May you have the best 2020 ever! Hugs, RO
ReplyDeleteI have learnt long ago to see the value in the lessons even when it seats me uncomfortably.
DeleteIt can be very disheartening to find out a person isn't the person you thought he was. You're right; we can't change it, but it still hurts. It takes a very big and wise person to accept the sad truth and move on. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteI have learnt Susan not to take it personally although you are right at first it feels very personal. The fact is its the person showing you who they are and you must take heed.
DeleteSorry you had to go through that stress.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately one of the consequences of navigating life.
DeleteWe learn from both good and bad experiences.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Nancy, if we are wise that is, we learn well.
DeleteThis is a good one, and so true. The lesson here is priceless! Thanks for sharing this wisdom, it's one lesson I learned the hard way too. I'm thankful I finally GOT IT!
ReplyDeleteWishing you well, dear friend!
Indeed, uncomfortable yet priceless.
DeleteI wish you the same.