Nov 20, 2015

14 Dealing with Betrayal

Angelica - Spanish LI (2)“Betrayal is the experience of being set up, violated and then being discarded. It is being used by someone who violates our dignity and then is unmoved by our pain.” –Dan B. Allender Ph.D, The Healing Path.

Wow, this is so true. I reread this at least 5 times because it just resonated so deep with me. I am too familiar with this experience. The feeling is horrendous.

Each of us has experience betrayal in our lives and will more than likely experience it in our futures, how we heal, take care of ourselves, our hearts and spirits and move on from those acts of duplicity is important to our growth and happiness. We need to find a healthy means of dealing with the pain and allow ourselves to grieve lost relationship(s), disappointment(s) and betrayal(s) and not get stuck in the anger, pain and rage. We need find healthy ways of working through trials and not fall into self-blaming and self-depreciation self-talk. We owe it to ourselves to teach to be our best selves for our self and learn to manage our expectations of others.

“Regardless of who is in your life to support and love you, your happiness is your responsibility; to forfeit that responsibility of self is to invite heartbreak and disappointment to take up residence in your spirit indefinitely.” –D.S.B.S.Rhapsody

 

Graffiti Art taken on the intersection of Bathurst & Queen in Toronto, Ontario Canada

14 comments:

  1. Your quote at the end. I couldn't have said it better myself. Without that attitude, betrayal begets depression. Ain't nobody got time for that.

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    1. True that, nobody got time for depression, it just takes you a deep hole of blah

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  2. I experienced this recently and it hit me so hard. Apparently, i didn't know the said person as well as i thought i did

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    1. Girl! I know what you mean, I had a few of those, hit me like a tsunami. One i didn't see coming, I couldn't prepare, I went through psychic torture getting through that particular experience. The other missed the signs and reasoned myself out of my instincts (lesson learnt) but soon realized a little too late what they were. Netherless to say, I have risen like air and live!

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  3. Two very important quotes to remember. I especially like that second one. Thank you for reminding me that my happiness is my own responsibility. :-)

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  4. I think we all have been betrayed at one point in our lives and some of us have been able to move on from the horrible pain and some just get stuck.

    Thank you for these uplifting words.

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    1. Yes, yes we have, the key i have found is standing in the truth of what is, getting the lessons therein and moving forward without sinking into bitterness.

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  5. I'm late to the party again. Yeah I was betrayed once and I blame myself for being so blind and stupid. I once tried to write a song called Love can make you stupid. I was stupid and I might as well add blind.

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    1. You are never late, any time is a good time as long as you show up to the party.

      Love don't make us stupid, we choose to be selectively stupid because we assume that when we compromise ourselves for another it will have a great pay off and it almost never work out that way.

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  6. Betrayal never feels good but there is always a lesson to learn in every experience.

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    1. This is true, life is about getting the lessons along the journey so that we are able to articulate and maneuver what is to come.

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  7. 'What would Jesus do?', is what I ask when faced with a difficult situation I have to deal with.
    Dealing with betrayal is especially hard when the person is close to you.
    There's a Ghanaian proverb which literally translates to, if an animal will bite you, it is in your own cloth. Most betrayers are that close to us (unfortunately).

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    1. hmmmmm....you are right thank you for sharing. I especially enjoyed the Ghanaian proverb reminds me when my grandmother spoke in parables.

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