Jan 24, 2015

29 Dating Disasters – True Stories,

You can’t make this stuff up.


dogThey had smooth conversations on the telephone, decided to take it to another level and go out for a nice stroll around the city.  The evening vibe was right, things flowing nice, she was feeling him thinking, ‘yeah, this is going alright, has some potential,’ until it was time to go home and he asked her for bus fare.

Me:        “please tell me you left his trifling ass and walked away and didn’t give that man a dime!”

She:       “wellllll, I was so shock and disgusted I just gave him the $3.00 bus fare and didn’t look back.”


They chatted online, on the phone; he passed all the no points to a first date. They had a nice dinner then to a coffee café for coffee. The conversation shifts in to orbit as he ask, “so you gonna suck my dick?”  She stopped in mid-sip mouth open in muted shock. She excuses herself to use the bathroom, calls her friend who was nearby to pick her up with some emergency excuse and promptly leave him sitting there.

Me:        when I could catch my breath from laughing uproariously at the bold horror, “Tell me you got up and walk away immediately and left that fool sitting in his stupidity.”

She:       “I was so shocked I left for the bathroom and ask my friend to come get me, I deleted his number immediately.”


She gets ready excitedly for her first date. By all accounts things were looking promising, after many conversations they made plans for a dinner and a movie. They meet at the designated place, they sit in his car. She asks:  when are we leaving for the movie?  He pulls down a screen, pops in a movie and pulls out a six pack of beer.

Me:        “you are frigging kidding me, hell you lying! Who does that?” I laughed till my sides hurt while she looks at me solemnly saying…

Her:       “am so done with this dating scene.”


They planned a date for mid week (Wednesday). Tuesday afternoon she receives a call from him. She asks, “Is something wrong do you want to postpone the date?” He responds, “no am just horny and wondering if you would give me a blow job before our date tomorrow.” She hangs up.

Me:        between shocked historical laughter and disgust I said, “You damn lie! Where in heaven’s name do you find these men, please tell because I don’t want to go there, damn!”

She:       “Clearly am doing something wrong, am so done with the dating scene.”


They met on the train, great conversation, and quick number exchange as each leave for their destinations. They talked on the phone. They agreed to meet face to face for some “get to know you better conversation.”

She is thinking, ‘the phone conversation ended kind of sketch. She answered all his standard questions (are you married, kids etc.,) though he was somewhat resistance answer the same questions i.e. sharing his relationship etc.  Filing it away for later she opts to take the “wait & see,” approach. If her instincts were correct then it will show up and he will eliminate himself.

They met; reintroduce their selves with a laugh and sat down to converse.  She started with the unanswered standard questions (a must in to determine whether to proceed further).

She:       “Are you married?” She asked and noticed a bit of a shift in his body language. Having been schooled on body language she made note but said nothing waiting for his response.

He:         “Yes, but I am separated,” he said not looking her in the eye.

Noticing his inability to look at her directly she decided to rephrased the question using his response and expanding it to get a more definitive answer.

She:       “So you are married but separated, are you still cohabitating (living with) with your wife?”

He:         “Yes, but my wife will be going back to Africa soon.”

She:       “ah huh, hmmm, do you have children?”

He:         “Yes I have 6 children.”

She:       “Ah, that’s wonderful, so where is your wife now?”

He:         “She is at home with the children, but she will be leaving for Africa soon.”

She listened and contemplated his responses and quickly realized that this particular course is not one she wanted to partake in. the prospect of getting involved with a married man with children and unfinished business he needed to sort out simply wasn’t a good idea for her. She ended the date.

She:        “Thank you for meeting with me; it was nice talking with you. I have to go now.”

He:         “So, when will I see you again?”

She stared at him silently.

He:         “Am not going to see you again am I?”

She:       “No.”

He:         “Why not?”

She:       “You have a lot going on, many loose ends you need to tie up and you need to be able to do that unencumbered by another. I have no desire to become entrenched in your family dilemmas. I have too much respect for myself for that. You owe it to your wife to give her some respect before bringing another woman into the mix before severing the matrimonial ties.  Thanks again for your time, bye.”

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