Oct 19, 2011

36 Taking Care Of Self

self_loveMany of us are often guilty of taking better care of others than we do ourselves. We feel unloved when the same focus of attention and care we give to the ones we love and care for is not reciprocated, showered upon us. Often we hold others responsible for our happiness, our successes, and things we fail to do for ourselves. 

The first step begins with “us” in caring for ourselves inside out/outside in. If we do not recognize or fail to understand our own worth and value in life and take steps towards building and ensuring the maintenance of our self-esteem and happiness whom do we expect will do it?

I think some of the steps to taking care of oneself and expressing self-love begins with …
  • Be honest with yourself 100% of the time for every season in every situation and circumstance.
  • Teach yourself to see things as they are not as you would like them to be.
  • Do not confuse self-delusion with hope.
  • Surround yourself with people that will keep it real and grounded not with those that will tell you only what you want to hear, they are enablers that will happily support you off a bridge because they are not strong enough to give you the tools to help you maintain your path.
Cultivate personal integrity.
  • Follow through on your commitment to yourself.
  • Do not knowingly make promises to yourself you know you cannot and will not keep (self-delusion).
  • Do what you say you will do even when no one is looking.
  • Think before you speak.  To speak out loud your intentions is to commit yourself to a thing, a person(s), an experience, or a job, you may not be able to do; complete or simply you may change your mind or lose the desire. If you are not sure then be silent (don’t speak it), if you’re in an environment that require a response then you declare uncertainty (‘am not sure') ask the person(s) to allow you to think it over (‘can I get back to you on that because I have some things to sort out’) and you will get back to them later.
  • Take responsibility for your actions and poor judgments/mistakes (we all make them).
  • Understand that mistakes do not make you a bad person it only makes you human and learning from them makes you wise while ignoring them and pretending makes you wilfully stupid.
  • Be mindful that whatever you fail to learn will come again and will continue to manifest itself until you get the lesson. Learning teaches you to recognize the issue(s) so that you can articulate and be clear on what is not working and what is working in order for growth to occur (psychological, spiritual, emotional, financial etc, etc).
  • Life is an evolution it will happen with or without your consent, only you determine whether or not you’ll be in the driver’s seat and have some say about how that evolution informs and transforms who you are and will become.
Mindfulness Thought:
We all have something to offer the world and each other. Sometimes in life we are teachers and sometimes we are students, it's important to note that no matter which position we are at any given point, we should always be observers.

What are your thoughts on self-care?
D.S.B.Rhapsody©All Rights Reserved - written in 2009


  1. Everytime I think "yeah, I like this line" the other one gets better! Great words of widsom, I likeeee.

  2. Yep! I especially like this one "Understand that mistakes do not make you a bad person it only makes you human and learning from them makes you wise while ignoring them and pretending makes you willfully stupid." I am taking it under advisement as I type this.

  3. Honesty is key…especially to yourself! Wise Rhapsody! Thanks for your advice.

  4. Nice one..worth following through to ensure a fulfilling life.

  5. honestly you the first person ive met here on spaces who pelts it out straight…………….and the clarity you have is amazing…..will keep me coming her for more. thanks for visiting. and could i add you to my network? Ill send you an invite in any case……..

  6. A clear and concise study. Great work and wonderful teaching!

  7. I love these, Rap. They are wonderful and so on point. If I had seen these as a young woman, I might have matured a lot sooner. However, I am thankful I learned most of these "the hard way"…the lessons stick better. great post!Have a happy Sunday and a good week.

  8. I loved these your new post, it’s a good lessons to us…Cultivate personal integrity: I had mistaken in when I was young age without thinking to said other person that I regret then I was corrected myself but too late, ever since I never open the my mouth first I thinking in my head first…..Thank you for visiting,Big Hugs,Michiko

  9. Hey Rap,Thanks for passing by and the comments, points noted and agreed on…I like the post, It brings together a few things I have read along the way from People like Myles Munroe and John Maxwell.Thinkgs I’m always talking to the kids about and boring them with…lol! I had to learn many of them the hard way, I just want them to have an easier ride.Keep on keeping it real.Have a good week.

  10. You have said it all.Each word is worth its weight in gold.What more to add?Thank you Rhapsody for this brilliant post

  11. To thine own self be true. I don't know where that saying comes from, but it does sum up what your saying.

  12. Beautiful piece!

    "If we do not recognize or fail to
    understand our own worth and value
    in life and take steps towards building
    and ensuring the maintenance of our
    self-esteem and happiness whom do
    we expect will do it?"

  13. @KParthasarathi thank you, somehow we have gotten to a place where looking outside ourselves for answers and validation has become the norm so much so thst we have moved away from our instincts and become alien unto ourselves. we are our best investment and we owe it to ourself to see ourselves as worthy and know our value is boundless.

  14. @Emeka Amakeze thank you. I am a constant work in progress and i have learnt there are lessons all around us, within us to guide us on our path, we need only to open our eyes and see beyond the fictionness that life can sometimes be.

  15. I like "do not confuse self delusion with hope."

  16. Spot on. Just this afternoon I asked that same question about self care/self love. I agree with all that you've listed. I would also include cultivating the ability/willingness to receive (and not just give). Balance.

  17. Lovely post...chizys-spyware.blogspot.com

  18. @Elspeth excellent "cultivating the ability/willingness to receive (and not just give). Balance." absolutely. thanks for that

  19. amazing words.... i feel so inspired :)

    1. We all have some experiences that can be inspiring to others, i am glad you are inspired. Pass it on.

  20. This is amazing Rhapsody..u speak for me loud and clear...we should go to bed everyday with a clear conscious, and get rejuvenated for the next coming.

    Coz they say if u go to bed with judgements and cluttered thoughts, then its like marination for the brain..it wakes up making u a different person altogether..so yeah, as u say..."be true to urself" and everyone around u

    1. hmmmmmm.....that is something to mull over, the brain marinating on the negatives that is. Thanks for sharing and I will try to shake the ugly before I lay me down to sleep.

  21. Great post. Something we should all keep in mind

    1. thank you, i think so, it certainly keeps me humble

  22. WOW.This is the best post I have recently seen on subject of this nature.I wish to read it frequently even daily at the end of the day for self appraisal.Thank you a ton
    have a great day ahead

    1. Thank you, this is inspiring to read. Self appraisal is really needed if we are to grow.

  23. A very nice post.. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.. After all it is on the subject of values which is very close to my heart :)

    I am sure that there will be a sequel to this and am eagerly awaiting it..


    1. Values are essential to cultivating ones character.

  24. HI DSB:)

    This Is a fantastic post for self improvement. It should be read at least once a week.

    There are some points which I want think out loud.

    CONFUSING SELF DELUSION WITH HOPE. Many times we fail in this respect. Very often we delude ourselves thinking that something will turn out in our favor when the actual facts are otherwise. We hope for the best to happen but we get the shock of our lives when things don’t go our way. In fact, we delude ourselves in order to procrastinate, dilly dally, and because we are reluctant to take a decisive action which will require effort, energy, time and money. So we hope everything will go alright whereas we are only deluding ourselves because the actual facts indicate adverse results. So instead deluding ourselves with a false hope we should study the facts of the case and take positive steps to achieve the desired results.

    Doing what we promise is important in personal and business relationship. If we keep our promises, we will be considered honest and sincere but if we don’t keep up our promises we will become undependable and untrustworthy.

    Learning to forgive oneself is a very difficult thing to do. If we have done a mistake, a serious one, it will continue to haunt us, torment us for the rest of our lives. It will not be possible for us to get rid of it from our minds.

    This is a very valuable post and as I said earlier it would be extremely useful to read it as often as possible to keep our focus and move in the right direction.

    Have a wonderful day DSB:)

  25. Well, that entry is all good advice for everyone. I am quite a talker and I have noticed the worst thing I am doing when I am trying to get discussion going is talk too much myself and not trying to draw more withdrawn people out. Some people in here are so withdrawn they get hostile if you ask too much of them, but you can never tell when a few questions will unlock a silent person's personality and they will give you something that always surprises me when I do it. Gerry

  26. A whole lot of truth by which to measure our lives by. Constant reminders, too, because for me it is often too easy to get lost.

  27. Good post and great reminder. thanks!

  28. Hi Rhapsody,
    Came by to say hello and wish you well.
    Hope you are having a good day.


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