May 15, 2011

31 IT'S NOT PERSONAL, THOUGH IT CAN FEEL THAT WAY

One of the hardest lessons in life that I’ve had to learn is how not to take everything personally, to take a step back and see things clearly as they are/were and not as I would have like/liked it to have been. It is one of the lessons in life I still wrestle with from time to time because, as you all know life tends to throw all sorts of scenarios your way.

“Don’t take it personal,” is a lesson I try always to be mindful off. I keep it in the forefront of my mind applying it daily in my approach to life.  It is a practise I must admit that is very challenging especially when it hits close to the heart and  borrows beneath the skin. I am cognoscente never to forget because to forget, is to set oneself up to be continuously victimized and one cannot, and should not, go through life being a victim of circumstance, actions, words and the deeds of others or the ego.  So the next time you encounter a situation, an experience, a circumstance that hit close to the heart or bruises the ego, ask yourself, 'how much of this, is my stuff, and how much of it is not', ‘is it really something I need to personalize and expend my energy on?

REMEMBER…

IT'S NOT PERSONAL

  • When someone you choose as a friend, chooses not to be your friend. Do not take it personal. Just as you have the right to choose with whom you would like to be friends with, so too does the other person  have the right and the privilege of choice and the reality maybe, that their choice may not be you.

    IT'S NOT PERSONAL
  • When the romantic feelings you have toward another  is not reciprocated, they cannot force what they do not feel. Do not take it personal, rather, see it not as rejection, see it as a blessing because the person to whom you choose to give your affection/love should be as into you as you are into them. The intensity should be equal, nothing else should do, never settle for less. It is about worthiness and one should not settle for less than they are worth.  To do beneath your worth is akin to beating a dead horse and that makes no sense.

    IT'S NOT PERSONAL
  • When you do not receive an invitation from someone you consider a loved one, a friend with no explanation or expression of remorse after the event. Do not take it personal, rather see it as an opportunity to learn what was not said without saying. Get the lesson, learn from it and move on.

    IT'S NOT PERSONAL
  • When your extended invitations to people you like to social outings are continually met  with an endless slew of excuses for which there never seems to be an opportune time for them to accept/attend. Do not take it personal rather see it as a lesson, accept and choose to invite those that will make the time and are readily available and happy to socialize with you and enjoy your company.

    Thoughts…
  • At times certain things and circumstances feel personal, it hurts and it makes us feel uncomfortable. Yet  if we examine closely the situation we would see that in some cases it really isn’t personal as it first felt.

  • Rejection it is not always a bad thing, sure it stings and bruises the ego, sometimes though it is a blessing because when one door closes it leaves room for greatness to come in through the window.

  • Through all things there are lessons and sometimes the zingers that stings brings the greatest growth and transformation.

31 comments:

  1. HR
    Great post.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Love,
    Herrad

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  2. I wish i could....SOME things i do take personal but after talking about it to someone to have an objective view, i let it go after a while...but not easy...because it sure hurts :D

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  3. wao... I will definitely try to remember these points. It's not easy to not take things personal thou......especially when you know the other persons motive.

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  4. True words. I think we all have a tendency to take things personally from time to time. Better to learn the lessons and move on like you said.

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  5. Thanks for sharing. It best not to take some things too personal cos it takes up so much emotional energy and it might not be worth it in the end.
    Di you see mu comment on your last post? Pls, I am still waiting for your reply. Thanks

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  6. This is a very good post AND you has always teaching us to how we became wiser person:-)
    Thank you for sharing us.
    I'll be more carefully with my thought in future.

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  7. thnx for ur lovely reply..............

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  8. WONDERFUL POST...............REALLY THE GIST OF LIVING LIFE IS EXPRESSED THROUGH THEM...........

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  9. Hmmm...lots of very useful and practical advice :) I will also try and follow these...

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  10. Thank for the mail, Rhapsody. I am trying something out this weekend. I almost deleted the mail cos it went into my spam, but thankfully, I did not. Thanks once again

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  11. Makes sense. Almost took a doctor's office inefficiency personal today...

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  12. So true, we can not take these things so personal, God knows what is best for us in all these situations. I particularly love what you said about unrecriporated love, everyone deserve to be with someone who loves them.

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  13. it is so true, but to accept that is very difficult, but if we could it makes the life so much better.

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  14. Life is too short to take every single thing to heart, or as a serious offence. Plus, people have different perception on issues. If someone is inconsiderate, rude, or insensitive, you can lovingly say to yourself, "That’s his (or her) problem." There is no need to take it personally, even if it is meant to be taken personally.

    This was a great entry.

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  15. Thought I’d add this little bit, today I better re-read this.

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  16. hiya yes it’s hard not to take things on board – may be thats what’s i really want to be able to do, accept other peoples actions as just that – their actions !!good post ~x~

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  17. hello Fabulicious, I love this message. It has made me reflect on my experiences, i recently learnt what you mentioned not quite long ago. what ever happens there is a great lesson to learn and if we search deep within, there are many blessings as well.I have also learnt that creating expectations from people is the root of dissapointments. People give what they have within their hearts, if a person respects himself, he will be able to respect others, it applies to everything. if they cant give you what you expect from them, it’s easier to understand that we all have our differences, our issues, and move on.

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  18. Good evening Fab…Stepping back and having patience are very important personal qualities for us to have.It will also aid us in proper discernment.Sometimes people say to me, “What are you a psychic?”My reply of coarse is, “No…I’m no psychic.”Most of the time it is just taking the time to closely observe and years of experience.But their also times when God’s Spirit can quicken the process.So…How do we know when it’s God? Because He will always build up, multiply, and add to someone’s life through evidence that is only known between Him and us.That’s not how I first expected to reply to this entry.Our Father God always knows best.Have a wonderful week…

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  19. I never thought of these things until today, it seems that I became more UNDERSTAND PERSON then ever before.Next Friday I will see my two sons (Mother’s & son’s day) I would talked about that some my space friends has a good education in ourlives. Thank you my friend!Big Hugs,Michiko

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  20. this is all true… and it is up to each individual to accept and move on. acceptance is very hard for some…at times it is a struggle for me. thanks for sharing thisi will now think " it’s nothing personal"

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  21. Most of the time we will put ourself at the first place, how many of us are unselfish, unself-centered? This attitude take long time to learn, I’m still learning too.Have a nice day :)

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  22. theIe are good points – I think we can take offence far too easily where none was intended – I think partly through ego – putting ourselves at the forefront, etc Jx

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  23. Are so many situations when we can take it too personal. If we think twice, we realize that many times it isn’t so. I learned not to react right at the moment because I can be hurt or very wrong. So, be strong and don’t let others to mess your life … Greetings,T

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  24. I know you can’t be 100 % right but if you trying that make your life easier a you know I’m not younger person but everyday new things to learnt into mylife. Thank you for remind us.

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  25. Thank you so much for these thoughts. They are really helpful for me and make me strong and give me courage. Next time I am very busy at work. It is not easy. But I want to come here as often as I can because I like it to be here with you.Thank you for all you share with us. Be blessed! May the sun shine warm and bright and give you a warm light of friendship.Cinderella

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  26. I also love that last one (all of them are great, but the last one is the zinger) and, like Pep I have grown the most from the ones that zapped me the hardest. some of them took days for me to get to the point of being able to step back and say to myself, "don’t take it personally". Some were so profound, I now call it the DTIP. The "D-tip" to me means…girl… D-tip; he’s a jerk; or D-tip, she’s a dingbat, and lastly; D-tip, they’re an "A"hole. Have a happy Tuesday and a nice week.

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  27. You said it right Miss Rap, all things are lessons (if we choose to learn from them of course).Yes I have lots of lenses, the choice I make depends on the subject of couse.Getting close to a big animal is a matter of judgement based on knowledge and experience (lessons learned).Yes some lessons are zingers but we hopefully move past those.Always a pleasure

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  28. Having a detached view of our own experiences takes time and skill, but does have huge benefits in terms of guiding us with what to do. Have a great day.

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  29. Thank You for this post. I needed to read something like this today.

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  30. yeah u r right! it is not personal really … everything is part of growth and transformation — become better and find better chances in life ^__^

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  31. Fab I really like that last line "through all things there are lessons and sometimes the zingers that sting brings the greatest growth and transformation" I’ve experienced some of those zingers but life goes on and I’m stronger because of and inspite of them.

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