Nov 27, 2010

25 Can You Tell The Difference?

Hey people.....yeah, am on a tear and ready to rant. Now, I know this will get some people twisted but it's all good. Let your comments opinions fly, it's all good besides you know what "they" say (whoever they are). "Opinions are like assholes and everybody's got one." I just need to share some thoughts on the change in times and the blurring of meanings.

You know I am one of the last people that like to use the phrase "remember when", because frankly it makes you sound old like dirt however I have to say this particular subject matter merits the exceptional waylay into the "Remember When" phrase. One of the things I enjoy doing is observing change; u know people, trend, fashion and so forth. One of the biggest change I have noticed over the years is women's attire and what is designated as "Sexy" um..., um…, I am using the term “sexy” very loosely people. Remember when” you could identify a prostitute and what were some of the obvious indicators that clearly said PROSITUTE? They were...

The too short skirts that revealed everything

Ridiculously small tops/dresses that left nothing to the imagination, some with the plunging necklines so low one couldn’t tell if the top/dress were back-to-front.

Tight pants that molded the body and gave away its secrets, i.e. explicit visual of the shape and size vaginas

Dresses that shout "look at my tits and ass"

These were styles that spoke suggestively of the illicitness goods to be bought and sold. It was intentionally used to draw the attention of men seeking to solicit what they were selling. The excessive exposure of flesh was designed specially to entice, titillate, and reveal bodily assets -a bonus, the cherry on the cake so to speak (if you like that analogy). The deliberate and explicit flaunting of flesh was the marketing foundation of how prostitutes earned their living.

What’s my point? My point comes more in the form of a question really. A debate if you will concerning the way women dress today and my question is. Can you identify the difference between a woman who is a prostitute today and one who is not?
Bear in mind we are comparing article of dress as society's consensus for “sexy” now seems to border on sleazy, skimpy and cheap. Labels once associated and earmarked as "Prostitue".

Now historically we have been thought to visually identify a prostitute by style and mode of clothing. One quick look and you can pretty much make an accurate guest. The trouble today is the lines has been blurred as women of today are now taking up this style of wear and getting offended when the historically labeling for prostitutes (visual identification) is assigned to them. Hence, if you dress like a whore it is presumed that you are one (although this may not be true) or at the very least have an affinity to be whore-like.

The fact is women have a responsibility to themselves, and just because you “have it does not mean you should flaunt it”. Of course this does not negate the man’s responsibility to respect a woman’s right to dress as she feel like on the other hand come on women, unless hookers, whores, prostitutes, call girls and the like find another way in which they can be identified other than their state of undress, you might want to consider the message you are sending, intentional or not.

I can hear all the arguments and I know them ok, and while I might agree with 99% of them some of which reads like “just because a woman dresses “sexy” does not mean she is a whore, and “ a woman has the right to dress the way she wants”, yeah I get all that and in theory you are absolutely correct only theory is not walking down the road reasoning with every man/woman telling him/her to reason as to whether or not your clothes represents correctly who you are. If he/she passes the street corner and sees prostitutes and you pass by wearing the same outfit, well, what’s the conclusion?

  • What are you saying when you wear a skirt so short that you cannot bend, stretch, sit down or sneeze because all your property is on display and you practically see the whole of china?
  • What are you saying when you wear a top so tight and so low that even your nipples fighting for cover?
  • What do you really expect men to think, Oh there goes a good Christian (or whatever religious denomination you ascribe to) girl, let me speak to her about philosophy and world affairs?
Like I said I know all the reasoning and debates and more than likely I would agree with you on most but we are dealing with reality here.All I am saying is think about the message you giving and want to send. Sexy is a state of mind not a state of wear and a woman must have a little mystery about herself. If you give away everything in the first few chapters what’s the point of reading the book?

I mean all of a sudden women are getting naked to attract men, come on ladies. What is worst is it is fast becoming normalized. Ladies I don't need to see your nipples, bottoms and neither regions for gripes sakes. You can do sensual and classy without exposing everything including your DNA. leave the extremes for the bedroom.

Its funny many criticize Muslim women for their state of wear cause while not all many are covered from head to toe but guess what, 80% of them are also married. What does that say?

Here is an interesting question: How is it that the rate of marriage among Muslim women some who show nothing but their eyes is higher than that of women who practically bare it all?

Any answers people.................enlighten me. Am I completely off base here? Am I wrong? Tell me I could use some good intellectual stimulation. Please don't hold back on my account.

First blog published in August 2005 on ROAM


  1. HI, thanks for the comment. The muslim women that I know from their countries. Their marriages are all arranged. So I guess that would be why they are all married. Their fathers have made deals with usually much older men and basically sell their daughters to them. What alot of these guys do when they are over here, is the fool around with as many women as they can, then they go back to their countries and marry a virgin. Its pretty discusting. I only know this from people that I work with. its multi-cultural.As far as girls dressing sexy. I’m not really sure why they do it, I suppose because they can. I mean just this summer on our way to our festival I was wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and some chick yells HO out her window at me. Like WTF warrented that ? Personally I say you do what you wanna do just as long as it doesn’t hurt me or my family. To each his own.;) Peace


  2. Hey. I saw your coment on my space appreciate your input,helped me see sumthin’ alittle broader…although i was seeing along the same lines…Now on this topic.Woman nowandays have allowed for society to define the amount of integrity that they have for themselves.Before all these ‘skankily things’ that are now called clothing came out, woman did not wear such reavealing clothing as casual atire. Now, it is the norm to see what is supposed to be left to the imagination,hanging out in plain sight.Yes it is true a woman has the right to dress as she pleases,and to be sexy.But since when did the definition of ‘sexy’ become ‘naked’?. Their are clothes out there that are both sexy and respectable to a womans integrity,mind,and qualities of a well-rounded woman. So if you dress in such a suggestive way to atract a man.what kind of man are you trying to intigue exactly?.Let your self-being and identity do most of the luring in,your body should only be about 20-30% more or less,as to why a man decides to talk longer than the exchangement of names and ages.Leave the rags to being rags.And let clothing be’Clothing’.Peace.


  3. I happen to like conservatively dressed women. I guess it’s because it leaves everything to the imagination. I’m usually more turned on by her intellectual- a real women who can keep my mind occupied. however, i’ve often observed that not all women who dress conservatively are any less than any other slut. I myself often get confused about these things. I think my cohort "Astute in my suit" has a point: now a days it’s all about body language and the impression that you naturally give off. As a literature and cultural student, I’ve recently learned about a particular term used to signify this aspect (I’m sorry I can’t remember the term, I would have to check my notes). In society we are driven to tag people as having a particular ideology or system of belief or values. We define this by signals that actually mean more than their obviouse meaning. For example, a person who wears a hat with the words "Oxford university" on it then we would clasify that person as having set of beleifs inherent to oxford university students. My point is, while sticking with the analogy, a person who wears a dirty hat doesn’t necessarily means that this person didn’t go to oxford. A woman who wears a revealing dress doesn’t mean that she’s a slut. Only when we start deviding and sub-deviding people will there be a wall that devides us all.PS. thanks for commenting on my blog. I don’t get many comments, probably because I don’t do much bloging (I never have the time nor the motivation). I’m thinking about posting more on the subject of law and culture. You’re welcomed to continue commenting.


  4. The point in case here is not the clothes that women wear but what they wear them. In both cases, the Muslim women and the western scantly dressed women, they do not dress that way because they feel so. In one hand the islamic culture, women are obligated by extremely powerful cultural, religious and social pressures to obey and be submissive. in this case adopting a dress code that goes completely agaisnt her will. In the other extreme we have young western women that by feel the pressure to be thin, blonde, sexual and comply with impossible standards of beaty that the media shove down their throats. Both of them represent the extremes of our cultural spectrum ,however; both of them clearly illustraste how male dominated societies try to control female sexuality and all other aspect of their life, and how those women that feel that the only way to belong and be accepted is to obey and forsake any personal choice and opinion for a false "greater good".


  5. I think you are absoulutley correct. You might be sluttier and be wearing more clothing then some women, but why should women have to stand half naked to get noticed? The standards are far to high for women now, with all the models and beautiful singers who display themselves in clothing that doesn’t even start to cover their bodies. How can they feel ‘sexy’ if they dont conform to what all other women are doing? You see teengers walking around nowadays with skin tight jeans or skirts that you just need to bend over and everyone around you gets to see what you have under it, if they want to or not. Now I am just a teenager as well, but reading your blog really made me think. You see the girls on the magazines showing everything off, and you want to be just like them because ‘they have it all’. Everyone wants to be a supermodel or a movie star, everyone wants to be famous, and nowadays it feels like you have to get naked to even try and fulfill these dreams…Thank you for writing this.. article. It really brought around idea’s about society.


  6. I read your latest comment in my space and I think I see your point on it. Thanks. Anyways, about the whole thing that you just put in your blog about wearing extremely revealing clothing. I prefectly agree with that. I mean, even if they do have the body for it, that doesn’t mean that they should advertise their body like some prostitute. When women wear clothing like that, they do send a message to men. Men won’t think that they are some intelligent, responsible woman. But really, I agree with you. I mean, really, what’s the point in wearing clothing like that? Especially clothing like short skirts that you can’t do anything in, bend down, sit down or anything or even clothing that is so tight that it’s basically as if they aren’t even wearing any clothing! And really, if the man was decent at all, you wouldn’t have to get naked to attract him. He would like you for the person you are inside. So, I perfectly agree with you, now, there are many both girls and women who, well you can’t even tell the difference between them and a prostitutes. It’s just wrong. Well, that’s my opinion. Thanks again.


  7. As a man I feel that a woman can dress any way she wants without sending a signal. I often find that at clubs the women who are dressed the most innapropriately are the ones who are the most unnatractive physicaly and are just being desperate. Some woman just want attention and want to feel DESIRED by any and every man they see…..i call this flirting and I really would not define women who do that as sluts. Usulaly i can spot a slutt as soon as she opens her mouth. It has nothing to do with the way she dresses. If she wants me to take her home after i’ve just met her, than warning signals go off in my head. Even if they are dressed like slutts…most women do not necessarily act like sluts…they may be flirtatious…but it’s all just a game. Furthermore some women who dress conservatively are sluttier than those who wear skanky clothes. Personaly i dont consider a woman a skank by how she dresses. I think if a woman has a nice body, and she chooses to be flirtatious with it, than fine…..for she will only be young and hot for a short period of time, and why not enjoy it. That does not mean she wants to just sleep with anyone. And i belive that is where the line is drawn today…it’s not how she dresses….it’s how she acts. Besides…in my opinion a REAL woman knows how to play cat and mouse to drive a man crazy without being slutty about it.


  8. Actually, I think I could tell the difference between the two. Most prostitutes now dress classier than the average young lady.

  9. It is very sad indeed that most woman are wrongly dress to attractive to the man?
    as you know country likes Japan we wear Kimono
    from top to bottom to covered up your body..
    all man was excitanted just look at little bit of around the neck LOL!
    In back to fourty years ago was nothing likes today?
    I remember that when I wear lower cut nice dress there my hubby used said to me cover up a bit more...
    I agree with you totally but it seems whole world became the nakeed women everywhere too.

    The man has raped woman in the parks or streets
    thats some faults in the woman too because invited for the man what you expected for that happened in end.

    Although you can seen younger woman wear it almost the nighdress in the shopping centre.
    Well unfortunately that we can't do anything about these things.
    Have a peaceful weekend my friend,

  10. I intentioally didn't read any of the comments here so I may some things I might say might be repetion of what others say but I didn't want any influence on my answer. I think some women do it because it is a power they have over men. They can use and manipulate them. Now I will not say that of all women. I don't want to guilty of sweepng generalities. Men have this weakness when it comes to the female form. We are visually oriented. Do I look at a woman who is wearing revealing cloths? Yes because I happen to love women and the female form. It's a natural thing. It's what keeps trhe species going. I don't ogle and drool. I take my look and move on. It's pointless to dwell on it. Some women, I think, do it without realizing the potential consequences of their actioins. Others do it knowing full well what they are doing. They've got it and they flaunt it. My personal feelings, I don't want to be be manipulated just because someone is visually alluring showing me all their feminine attributes love them though I might. I see some of the young attractive women at work who wear pants that look like they have been spray painted on. There's only one reason why they do it. It's because they can and as a man I must be wary of this behavior and not fall victim to it.
    Good thought provking post Rhapsody!

  11. Hello,

    Interesting topic which is very relevant to the modern days.

    Women can dress as they want but they should know what is decent and indecent. Skimpily dressed women attract the attention of men but it can lead to unnecessary violence against women because they tend to give the signal that they are available.

    The problem is most actresses,models,magazines,advertisement agencies,fashion designers,movies, set a bad example to young teenagers and they blindly imitate without knowing what is good or bad.

    Muslim women are brought up as chattels and they have no freedom.If they marry they remain married forever for fear of religious repercussions.

    Very interesting post and photos.

    Best wishes,

  12. Interesting topic Rhapsody.
    If I see something that looks like a spade, you can't knock me down if I then turn around and call it a spade can you...
    Most people dress in skimpy clothes to merely draw attention to themselves. I believe that most of them have a low self esteem and/or they're trying compensate for an uninteresting character. When you know that you have inner beauty and brains, you don't use your body to try and attract people to you.
    On the other hand, if a person professes to be a Christian or a person of some respectable faith but dresses in a provocative way leaving nothing to imagination, then they need to get their act together. If you're really a Christian and the spirit of God abides in you, there'll be such a strong sense of conviction (conscience @ work) you aint gonna dress like a slut. So they shoud stop fooling themselves and others.
    Many may not like what I say but I tell it as I see it, take it or leave it...of coz as always you are entitled to a different opinion. :-)

  13. Simply...How we dress will determine how we are categorized and it will affect lives. Times have changed or have they?

  14. Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. You make a very valid point about the percentage of Muslim women who are married compared to (assuming here) Canadian/American women. However, a lot of Muslim women are in arranged marriages. That's not something that is ascribed to in Western society. Basically to me, "nice" women who dress like street walkers are just like prostitutes. I believe that they're both trying to sell themselves (their bodies and sex) but for two different things. Prostitutes are more honest in my scenario because they sell their bodies for cash. Whereas "nice" girls sell their bodies for marriage (or a relationship). To me, "nice" girls aren't being so honest with men because they don't come out and say, "I'm dressing like a whore to get your attention but what I want from you is for you to treat me with respect and form a solid lasting relationship with me." My two cents for what it's worth. But warning: I'm tired and cranky from waiting for my kids to get home from meetings. My opinion might change after I'm better rested.

  15. Excellent points Ms Rhapsody. You really had some thoughtful commentors as well! I found myself agreeing with most.
    I should say though, I was dissappointed that no one complimented your photo selections. Nice shots!

  16. It should be left to women to decide how much to reveal and how much to conceal.The Victorian values are a relic of the past.So long as they do not dress in an obscene manner offending the sensibilities of onlookers , it hardly matters what an individual does.If they streak in the road the law enforcers are there to take note of .The dresses of people in show business or those who walk on ramps are generally scanty with predominant show of skin.Such women have their audience to cater for.There can be no general norm on what is acceptable and what is not.It varies from country to country and even from one place in a country to another.The article has been written forcefully buttressed with apt pictures.

  17. Girrrrl, I don't have time to type what I really want to say, which is probably a good thing! I will say this to your post...SAY THAT!
    And we wonder why our young girls dress the way they can the older woman teach the younger woman when the older woman doesn't know any better or knows better and doesn't care. Sigh...

  18. While this is so far back, I can't help argeeing with most if what you have stated here. The problem is thAt the society literally dictates everything to us.once they tell us that it is ok to do something or once there is a celebrity endorsement, most people lose all sense of rationalization. At the end of the day,no matter how much we try to refute it, people usually are addressed by ten way they are dressed. Fromtime I immemorial, the society has beenknown to be double, is that whom we are supposed to entrust our principles with?
    People should learn to think for themselves and try to be multiple-perspective.


  19. What has annoyed me has been the rapid decline in the taste shown in music videos.

    I still remember as recently as the 90's when En Vogue, Brandy, Monica and all of the great vocalists of their era could go platinum with vocal talent alone; their videos looked like this:

    Nowadays it seems you need to expose the most flesh possible to ensure your album sells.

  20. I dunno, whether a woman is excessively clothed or half naked; she calls attention to herself - i think it comes down to attention....the need to not want it and want it at the same time...women are forever being made to feel bad about themselves; not that i would walk down the street half naked but i would do a photoshoot - be proud of your body; not ashamed; youth is fleeting - so is tight skin lol

  21. @lizawrites hmmmmmm... interesting perspective, it also begs the question, "does one have to be photographed naked i.e. to be proud of ones body?" Which leads to another question, “what is the true motivation for the external validation?”

  22. How does that old saying go?!? You might not be a 'ho', but you're sho nuff wearing the uniform!!!

    1. Oooops! dannnnnnng Reg, you gotta ta hit it like dat!
      I know what you men though. Somethings lost somewhere along the line.

  23. dressing elegantly is the key. When a woman considers and perceives her body to be an eye candy and dresses as if to make her thinking clear, she loses her lady appeal and becomes another gross material walking on the street.

    1. Blessings and welcome
      great points
      I guess that is the rub isn't it, how one defines elegant


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