May 28, 2009

11 Happiness is a choice

As life unfolds we are presented with many things, situations and circumstances that take us through the paces. Some we choose and are prepared to deal with (at least in theory), while others we are unprepared for and ill equipped to deal with but must.

In life at times we can be unwillingly co-opted or swept up into by virtue of proximity, friendships or family unexpectedly bad, disruptive and continuous negative situations and circumstances. When that happens it can stir some of our strongest emotions (resentment, anger, discomfort, fear, dread signalling the loss of control) that can threaten our joy and happiness if we are not careful. This can occur if we give too much of ourselves, mind, body, spirit and will over to what is happening, things we cannot control and have no control over. This is especially true for children, as a child I cannot tell you the sense of powerlessness that pervaded my world.

The thing I discovered and know to be true is that we all have power.  It may not be as noticeable evident as the person in “authority,” i.e. society’s position of power but it is there. It is in the way you think, the way you will not allow particular situations, circumstances and persons to influence and shape your thinking based on the outcome or their behaviour.

You see no matter what is happening around you, outside of you, you are the only one controlling what is happening inside of you. That is not to say that whatever you are experiencing seizes to be impactful, painful or devastating. It is to say that in your mind, in your spirit, in your soul, in the midst of all the out of control madness, you are the boss of your thinking. You are the authority on you, you and only you control how those outside influences (people, situation/circumstance) shape who you are and who you will become. Hence you can experience joy and happiness even in the midst of what may feel like hopelessness and ciaos.

Negative situations do not mean you cannot be happy or that you cannot experience joy, hope or have faith. Undoubtedly as you journey through life things will shaped, reshape, influence and inform your point of view. That can also be said for culture, tradition, socio-economic class, spiritual practices, philosophy, ethos and experiences. My point is happiness can still exist and coexist within all those realms of unpredictability’s bringing along with it lessons to be had if one has the proclivity to get the lessons the experience(s) brought.

While as human beings we are not able to control all that life hurls our way we can certainly determine how we allow “it” whatever “it” maybe to change and inform who we are and who we are to become. Whilst malevolent and benevolent behaviours can be contextually justifiable neither are permanent human conditions. Choose to be happy no matter what life throws your way. Perhaps one might designate me an eternal optimist, so be it, who voluntarily wants to live in a perpetual state of discontent and misery, certainly not me!

D.S.B.Rhapsody©All Rights Reserved


  1. Magnificent post! It is wonderful to be reminded that ultimately it comes down to our own selves determining what happiness we can experience!

    Very thought-provoking and touching.

  2. Hi:)

    I came to tell you something and I found to my joy that you have posted something of abiding interest to all especially for me who is a born pessimist. Even in the brightest situation I can only look at the negative points, difficulties and failures which automatically makes me look glum and moody.

    First, let me tell you what I came for. You have posted a comment in my blog and I can’t locate it although I searched and searched for a long time. I was going mad. Suddenly my brain started working and I realized the easy thing for me to do is to come and tell you my problem. Now that I have finished telling you, I feel happy and relaxed. Otherwise, this search was getting on my nerves and I almost got palpitations. If you can kindly tell me where you have posted the comment, it will make my task easier.

    I am thrilled with your advice on how to become an eternal optimist. It is true WE ARE , WHAT WE THINK WE ARE. If we chose to be unhappy we will be unhappy. If we want to be happy, we will be happy regardless of the circumstances, difficulties, hardships, trials, tribulations, sufferings and sorrows.

    I know a fisherman, whose name is Stephen. He choses to be happy although he has no food to eat when he has no catch and he and his wife has to starve. He says God knows what HE is doing. If He wants to give He will give. HE knows whom to give and when to give. He says he is used to starving at times and there is nothing to complain about it. Ii is nothing unusual in his life.

    If you don’t feel happy, force yourself to be happy. It is quite difficult but it can be done. If you don’t feel like smiling, force yourself to smile and you will automatically smile. This is not meant for you. You have already made it clear that you are an eternal optimist. The advice is for me. I am a pessimist inside out. I keep telling my self----SMILE, SMILE, SMILE and very soon I find myself smiling automatically.

    I also keep telling myself—DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY! I think this was a song.

    Your post made me extremely happy and I am going back with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

    I hope my comment is not longer than your post. If so kindly excuse me. I am fully aware that you believe BREVITY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE.

    Wish you a wonderful day:)

  3. Good post! I choose the joy of the Lord. As happiness is situational, joy transends human emotion and faith fights through the trails and tribulations of life. I choose God’s love, his Word and his undying affection toward mankind. Inside of whatever circumstance I may find myself, I always know that God loves me and this is the joy that the world can’t touch.

  4. It is contentment that makes for happiness. Happiness is a relative term–no measurable yardstick is there.Some people are happy at others misery! Happiness ultimately is a state which varies from time to time given the circumstances of the prevailing

  5. "Choose to be happy no matter what life throws your way"The key to happiness lies in our hands no matter what the circumstances are.There are times when we cannot be happy but we can certainly avoid being oppressed by unhappy thoughts.Good post.Thanks for visiting my blog and posting comments.

  6. This is a really great post, Rap. You are so right, happiness (and other emotional conditions…haha) are a choice. I choose happiness any day of the week. Thanks for sharing this.

  7. It makes me recall one of my blogs. Life is endure, no matter is tough or smooth, I’ll still living with appreciate and happiness, because I’m blessed. Thanks for your words Rap, truly wish you happy always and being loved by everybody.

  8. Well I like this Rhapsody, if people choose to go around looking and feeling unhappy they will only bring the people around them to. It is a state of mind and wellbeing, smile and the world smiles with you. Thank you for this post , good health and happiness to you. Sheila (Catches the Eye) :)

  9. Happiness tends to have it's ebbs and flows but I definitely think we are ultimately in control of how we respond to life's events.


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