4 A LETTER TO MY COUSIN IN HEAVEN - RELEVANTLY HERE

Repost from- Honoring Ossie, a blog I created & maintain for my cousin Petty Officer Oswald Gould. The first post HE LIVED tell a little about him.

RELEVANTLY HERE - TOUCHING BASE

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." --revelation 21:4

Hey Ossie, its been a while since I've created a post, almost 8 months. I have no real excuse except to say just life, choices and navigating the nuances. Times has changed, the world is in a tail spin with this infectious virus COVID 19 pandemic.

I don't think when you were here that you could even imagine a time when the government would legislate our movements and dictate for the most part where we can and cannot go. Oh but perhaps you can as you were military. Though it is in our best interest to adhere and follow its dictate it is but a hard pill to swallow. But, here we are, living it. We, are dealing, all 7.594+ billion of us that dwell on this big blue marble we call earth, navigating the isolation, social distancing and travel restrictions.  Young and old, rich, poor, destitute and homeless all in the same pot dealing with the same fear, loss and paranoia. No privilege offers to any one ethnicity or upper socioeconomic class a special pass. It is one big leveled playing field.

The death toll continues to rise daily. It is estimated that 258,344 people have died so far, It is frighteningly sobering to think there will be thousands more as they have not yet found a cure. Your sister, brother and aunt are all on the front-line doing their part. Your aunt my mama at 75 marches on daily like a warrior. Its a bitter dose of daily reality that I must reluctantly swallow every day that won't allow escape for a moment's peace (the peace you have to steal it.). There is no chaser to make it taste better, no honey to mellow its bitter taste and no disguise to cover its ugly truth.

I know you got your mama there with you now. Aunty took her final bow and while all of us struggled and still struggling to come to terms with the sudden swiftness in which she departed I think now we are grateful in light of what we are all facing. Many families are not able to visit their loves ones in the hospital. They are forced to stay away due to the unforgiving viciousness of the virus. Families cannot say proper goodbyes, cannot attend funerals and perform the rituals of walking down memory lane with stories of remember when, of l I love you goodbyes that brings closure and acceptance as we commensurate with friends and families. It is our new reality.

Amidst the drudgery of following the necessary medical mandate to flatten the curve of the Covid 19 pandemic that has the world in its tentacles I am able to smile. I am able to find pleasure and gratitude in the insane mundane sameness life has become. I can hear you asking, how? How can you find pleasure in the restrictive mundaneness of it all? Smiling, I'd say, "Am here. I am healthy for the most part. I wake up everyday able to help myself. Though I am imperfect and things are far from perfect I am grateful to simply be.

I experience all the fear, worry and uncertainty but I cannot and will not let it swallow me. Amidst the fear there is joy. Amidst the sorrow there is hope. Amidst the sadness there is happiness for my faith is not chased by the bleakness of our current existence but is inspired by who I know God is and what God can and will accomplish. Am I afraid, most certainly. Am I a bit tipsy on paranoia, absolutely. Am I exercising precautions and cautions, without a doubt. However I am also walking through my fear as courageously and as judiciously as I can. I am counting my blessings, haves and celebrating each new day with thanksgiving. I am thankful for each breath I take without assistance and unobstructed. I am steadfastly cultivating my peace of mind and I am constantly in conversation with the Divine Omnipotent. I am embracing humility and waltzing with patience and when it threatens to overwhelm me. I breathe deep to the depths of my being and I let it dissolve quietly on my tongue savoring its taste moment to moment until I can take it day by day. It is not easy but it is doable. 

Well cous as the night tips into the wee hours of the morning and the stillness breathes cool air, I'll end here. Thank you for lending your ear. Take care of Aunty for me but knowing her, she is taking care of you. Let her know I love her and miss her dearly. I love you to, don't get it twisted.

Peace and love always...

Your cousin,

DSBS Rhapsodyphoenix

Ossie has been on Angel duty since February 21, 2015
5 years, 2 months, 16 days 
62 months, 16 days 
164,332,800 seconds
2,738,880 minutes
45,648 hours
1902 days
271 weeks and 5 days
521.10% of a common year (365 days)