May 31, 2015

12 Self-Control: Revisiting a train of thought

I am not a big fan of Aristotle however I do agree with a few of his philosophical sayings. One of which says …
“It is easy for anybody to become angry however to be angry with the right person, at the right time for the right purpose to the right degree in the right way is not easy and not within everybody's power.”
Now that is truth summed up is in 40 words. I mean think about it, “to be angry with the right person, at the right time, for the right purpose, to the right degree, in the right way,” takes a hell of lot of self-control. It requires one to be cognisant of one’s’ actions, words, intent, delivery and a willingness to stand in the truth of that experience and face the consequences and repercussions of the confrontation. Not many people are able to do that. Not many can place the anger directly at its source; often times some lash out indiscriminately in retaliation of the hurt they feel hence compounding the issues because their wrath was misdirected.
At some point I think we all in one way or another have been guilty of taking out our anger on others that many not have been deserving of it, whether it is by our dismissiveness tones, gruffness, shortness, impatience and rudeness.
Just as we are sometime guilty of misplace anger we can also say that we all have been recipients of another’s wrath. In those times you feel like you “wow, I’m in the right place wrong time.” or “I’m in the wrong place wrong time,” depending on how you look at it. The question is how do you handle it? Do you become as reactive and engaged by becoming just as combative? Do you allow yourself to be drawn into an argument for which you have no clue the source or the cause? Do you take a step back and leave the way you came in or do you examine how much of what’s coming at you has to do with you and how does not? What you do and how you do it will determine the quality of the relationship henceforth.
The truth is we all can benefit from learning to manage our anger especially in those times when we feel like our cup runnette over and we are overwhelmed. To learn how “to be angry with the right person, at the right time for the right purpose to the right degree in the right way,” is s gift beyond measure. I am in the process of that learning….
  • How good are you at managing your anger?
  • Are you able to as Aristotle states direct your anger at the right person at the right time for the right purpose to the right degree?
  • Are you cognisant of your intention?
  • Can you speak without offending?
  • Can you articulate your perspective without being consumed by the anger?
  • Can you speak without being disrespectful, reverting to verbal bashing?
  • If not, what are you going to do about it?
  • If your anger is out of control when do you plan to get it under control?
  • What will it take for you to be inspired to get a handle on your anger?
  • Do you control your anger or does your anger control you?
“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” -Tao Te Ching
There is no shame is seeking help, there is very little within society that is within our control the one thing you have complete control over is yourself, so take the steps toward self-governing, it’s a worthy investment, one well worth your time, energy and effort.
As the Chinese Proverb Say…..
“You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.”
Peace, Much love, have a fabulous week.


  1. I once heard that anger is a secondary emotion. It’s our first gut reaction, but when we stop to think about the situation it’s often that we are feeling hurt in some way or other, and anger is simply our first reaction to those feelings? But I definitely agree… it’s good to learn to control your anger. I hope you are having a most wonderful weekend. -S-

    1. hmmmm....that sounds about right.
      control is definitely a necessity so that we don't make poor decisions that takes things to a level we may not be equipped to deal with.

  2. very true.

    your comments on my blog were so vivid..:-) made me laugh. i enjoy your thoughts. thank you.

    1. Laughter is good for the soul, it cleanses the spirit. Keep laughing Dawn.

  3. The thing is, with all that knowledge of being angry at the right person comes the fear of knowing that it is very possible that the anger will be counter-acted by that very same person. What is the consequence of hitting someone without the right velocity and strength behind the blow? A reaction that is well on a higher level of intent than your initial blow. This causes us to be aware of our actions before the rage begins, once the rage starts, it knows not to stop due to the adverse effects. Many attitudes of kill or be killed forms at this point.

    Be Blessed and treat all as you want to be treated

    1. Very good analysis, thank you for sharing Terrence, you have given me food for thought. I like that.


  4. Conquering anger and desire is the most difficult thing..We may encounter many defeats in overcoming anger but we should not be defeated in the war against it.
    A very beautiful post analyzing the subject very well.Thank you.

    1. Yes it is. Absolutely we should not be defeated.
      always a pleasure getting your insight

  5. Great much needed at this time when my anger gets the best if me all the time and hurts all around me. I still dont know how to rein it, but thispost post surely makes me feel that I need to do it sooner

    1. I am glad you were able to get something valuable from the post.
      We all have our moments, i have learnt over the years that we have much more control over our anger than we think, its the deep level of hurt and at times humiliation that makes us reactive and have us feeling out of control. With time though i have found that you learn how to choose your battles and who you give your time and energy to.

  6. This is a wonderful post! I wish I could say I was perfect and able to control my anger in order to direct it properly in the correct way. Hooowever, I admit sometimes letting my emotions get ahead of me. Sigh... I am a work in progress.

    1. Perfect doesn't exist Kay. We are all a work in progress. Learning how to choose our battles I have found helps .......


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