I will post her questions to you in the end of our email conversation.
I have a question for you and I will like to know your thoughts on it. It is a little bit difficult to understand however if you need me to clarify please ask me.
- Does love depend on feelings?
- If someone doesn’t feel those feelings they felt at the first time does it mean the love is gone after you promised to love that someone (what I felt at that time), but then one day you wake up and you do not have the same feelings, but the person is really a good person, does the relationship have to stop?
- What if the other person in the relationship still loves me a lot and I know he does because he proves it by his actions, should I wait and see what will happen? I need your opinion.
Love manifest in many ways and the expression varies based on how people interpret love, what they think it means and now they feel the expression of love should look, sound and feel. I guess if I were to compartmentalize it (put it into parts); I would use 2 categories FEELINGS & ACTIONS just to keep it simple.
- FEELINGS being the emotion i.e. the pleasure you feel, the connection, the contentment, the high as love is very potent
- ACTIONS being the compulsions, that the drive and motivates you into doing things to express that feeling of love, to show the one who has won your affection what they mean to you as love is inspiring and that inspiration incites you to do things for the one(s) you love
They both go hand in hand. I believe love is transitional hence it shifts and changes whether those changes are for the better or worse is dependent on the parties involved and how committed they are to making the relationship the best it can be. That means evolving together as a couple, making allowances and compromises that is to the benefit of the relationship while still maintaining ones individuality and being accountable not only to one’s own happiness but to the happiness and success of the relationship.
- In a marriage/common law or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship the love is always evolving whether that’s good or bad is reliant on the people involved. For instance, when you first fall in love there is the euphoria, the excitement, the ecstasy, the anticipation; it’s a nature’s natural drug (If you can bottle that stuff you’d be a billionaire).
- As time passes however some of that euphoria simmers down and the newest fades and thus begins the true knowing of each other’s idiosyncrasies (ways, habits, flaws etc.). Sometimes it is in learning these personal imperfections (which we all have) is where we learn truly if the person we are with is the person we want to be with for the rest of our lives.
So my answer to your question is two-fold.
- On a significant level YES because it is that initial love that carries you through and can be sustaining and…
- NO on a real level because one can grow to truly love a person while not being starry eyed, over the hill in love the first time they meet. This love can manifest sometimes from how well one is loved and cared for by the other person, how one is always considered and decisions made with that consideration in mind, to be put first, to be a priority above all else.
Overall though one must be honest with their self and do what is best for self regardless of what anyone else may think because it is you and only you that will have to live with the circumstances of your decision (choice). I believe that whatever choices you make for the type of relationship you want (choose) your needs, wants, desires and dreams should always be (considered) part of the equation, to make any decision without you in mind will only be detrimental (harmful) to you in the long run.
It is said that if you cannot imagine growing old with the person you are with, cannot visualize (see in your mind’s eyes) or foresee any real future with them then that in itself is a very potent (powerful) answer.
Hope that helps, take care
Lady D’s Response:
Hey Bella, Thank you so much for this message. mmmmm, I have re read it, I totally agree with you. I would be very happy if you'd put it on your blog so I can see other people’s perspective on LOVE?
Take care, hugs… Lady D
- Is love dependant on feelings and if your feelings of love changes does that mean the love is over?
- Should you stay based on the other person's love for you?
- What is your understanding on love?