“Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul & health to the bones” –Proverbs 16:24
My interpretation of the meaning….
If you “must” say something, think before you speak, consider your words, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself-‘how would I want to be told?’ if you are unable to do that, then the old saying applies, “if you do not have anything good or constructive to say, then don't say anything at all.”
I can hear some of you saying, “Easier Said than Done!”
Sure, this is one of the hardest things to put into practice because we live in a world that in many ways condones and validates criticizing, and judging of each other and it is seldom constructive criticism. However that is not an excuse, it does not negate personal accountability for what comes out of one’s mouth. Sure the proliferation of the negatives can sometimes sway us if they are not conscious i.e. mindful of how we internalize negative normalized practices/behavior, how it informs and impacts how we communicate. To be like unconsciously is dangerous because it means we are unaware and being unaware means we are be vulnerable to becoming perpetrators of hurts by producing, reproducing and regurgitating the same toxic behaviors and practices. You feel me?
We are human hence flawed that means we will make mistakes however as a general rule we should try always to be considerate of other people’s feelings. And although there will be times when one have to face or tell some hard truths that may not be the sweetest things to say or convey at least you would have thought things through before belting it out without thought of the person, time, place, delivery or intent.
Does that mean that with all that good intention there would be no fall out for having been the messenger, no not really because the truth is no matter how one attempt to dress up TRUTH, to gently dish it out, or to find neutral settings-the appropriate time, the appropriate place, the use of neutral language or tone the outcome can still produces some hurt feelings and we cannot predict how the person(s) would react or receive what they are being told.
So why bother some of you may ask, because although at times it feels like there is no good way to avoid hurting someone, saying nothing isn’t always the best solution as saying nothing at times can do more harm than good.
The key is to be mindful, empathic and considerate. As Proverbs 16:23 states “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips,” and Colossians 4:6 reminds us to, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
Could not be more true.
ReplyDeletehmmmm, thanks
DeleteOnce a word is spoken it can never be taken back. I can’t count the number of times I have said the wrong thing without meaning to.
ReplyDeleteOh you are so preaching to the choir, I have had my mouth run away from my face on many occasions. I have since learn the value of thinking b4 speaking.
DeleteWords have such power to bring hurt or healing to others. May we aim to be more mindful of that when we open our mouths.
ReplyDeleteYou got that right. Amen
DeleteI have been guilty of saying the wrong thing sometimes. As soon as the words left my mouth I realized they were wrong but I was one second too late. I try to be mindful of what I say and how I say it, but every once in a while it still happens. I guess that’s all part of being human.
ReplyDeleteYou and me both. The good thing is though that we have learnt and are endeavor to be more mindful.
DeleteAren’t we all guilty of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or at times not saying anything at all when something needs to be said? This is truly and inevitable evitable. One just has to use good judgement and tact to know when to speak, what to say and how to say it and when to just keep your mouth closed respectfully.
ReplyDeleteGirl you got that right. absolutely an inevitable evitable, though we can certainly try to curb our urges to simply blurt things out without forethought.
DeleteVery nicely put. Peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Deletei agree with you ,really, it hurts to see when pple speak without considering other’s feelings. Yes the truth must be said and told, but i also believe there is a way to talk it out.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not abt what we say, it’s abt how we say,, mutual communication is still a complex issue, we owe it to those we love and care about.
hmmmm, yes i agree, though i must be truthful and say i have been guilty in my youth of just saying things without stopping to see impact. I am more mindful now.
DeleteGood evening,
ReplyDeleteYes, our words can build bridges or they can build walls.
Actually, our words can create possibilities or problems.
Our words are so important and should always carry truths.
Truths can be spoken properly.
Truths mixed with faith will always be the best mixture success.
Hope you had a very nice weekend,
Greg
You are so right Greg. hmmmmmm, good point
DeleteWe should all thing carefully before we speak.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, if only we remember that at all times for all situations and circumstances. *sigh*
DeleteThe book of proverb is one of my favs in the bible. You captured it well.
ReplyDeleteWatching one's tongue is an advise you have continuously to preach in your blog, with regards to previous posts. The tongue is the smallest member of the body, but holds life and death in it's grip.
hmmmmmm, powerful statement and so potent. Yes I often advise upon the wisdom thinking before speaking, so much hurt can be avoided if we but think before spewing just because we can.
DeleteI do like this Rhapsody , words can cut like a knife and hurt so deeply. We should all think carefully before we speak of the truth etc.
ReplyDeleteJust to thank you for your comment , it seems I can not reply on my post today . Bees are but a few this year sad to say , only a few visit the garden.No issues as so very few.
Wishing you well take care. I enjoyed your post today.
Absolutely words with malice, without care, compassion, empathy cut deep, wars were started, violence perpetrated, divorces etc.
DeleteI heard somewhere that there are concerns that the bees are not prominent as they once were and naturist and environmentalist are concerned. I guess we should heed this as a warning to all of us.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing with me.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
We, at least I do, hate complainers. Especially those complainers who feel all justified. It’s too easy to fall into our world’s sink-hole of negativity. As a matter of fact, it’s what often repels people away from our God. Religious Christianity are those complainers who feel justified but True Wisdom would tell them to shut the hell up. How come a lot of them wear God’s Squad t-shirts and have bumper stickers on their cars?
ReplyDeleteHe (our God) moves when absolutely necessary with amazing moments but if we want to change, truly change, for the better, He knows it won’t happen overnight. It’s not about trying but about training overtime with Him. Athletes did not get to the Olympics overnight; they all trained for years. He can be our own Personal Life Trainer. Then we will have a GOOD REPUTATION becoming wise folks who make a lot more sense whenever we speak.
If we are in it for the long run there is “Something Good Comin’ for You and for Me.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSvlJe1mwlw
Hey Mister G.....good reading from you again.
DeleteOh you right about that sink-hole of negativity we have to be ever deligent about steering ourselves away from its path and teach ourselves to recognize the patterns and behaviors that would lead us back to it.
Oh i have been known to complain though I do balance it with personal accountability by owning my contributions that may add to whatever situation/circumtance I may find myself in that has me complaining and singing the, "oh woe is me," mantra.
God as our personal trainer is the key isn't it, you are so wonderfully correct.
Thanks for coming mister G and sharing your wisdom with me. All the best to you and the fam.
If you have nothing good to say, say nothing.
ReplyDeleteSimple but powerful truth.
DeleteReminds of something my grandmother demanded of every last one of her grandchildren, especially when she dragged us to church events. I truly believe the tongue is a powerful tool, and when misused, it can really hold power within one's spirit. So I completely understood exactly what my grandmother attempted to accomplish in her words of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI do remain true to her warnings, for the most part.
Yes the tongue is a powerful tool and we should be mindful how we use it, like you I try to heed the warnings of the wise as it pertains to this issue.
DeleteBehavioral sciences too advocate a similar behavioral pattern. I have something good to say. You are too good a person.
ReplyDeleteThank you, a lovely compliment that i won't let get to my head.
Deletestay blessed.
We usually say that actions speak louder than words - true, but our speech can also make or break some individuals. Treating people the way we want to be treated is the key message. We all want to be understood, shown empathy and compassion and tolerance.
ReplyDeleteA number of us may take pride in the fact that we can withstand any “verbal assaults” that may come our way by letting the words go through one ear and out the other. Those who are able to do this and not be bothered at all are, in a way, truly blessed. I myself, can take a lot but I do have my limits. There are some people that need to be put in their place by being corrected. Ignorance is something that really pisses me off and when I run into an individual who shows little respect for others, you bet I am going to say something and if it crushes their ego... so be it... guaranteed they have done it to someone else. I am not saying that two wrongs make a right, but there are just some people that need to be verbally bitch slapped. Yup, biting one's own tongue can be very difficult at times.
Great post!
hmmmmmm, some very valid and wise points, often we speak without thinking and we can never unsay something, its already out there. Treating others as we would like to be treated is an ethos i think we have all heard from one time or another, sadly many of us seldom heed this wise philosophy.
Deletethanks for sharing you wisdom with me, as usual it is on point.