Apr 22, 2012

55 WHEN BLOG FRIENDS FALL OFF THE GRID

It is that time again. Time to trim my BLOGROLL. Reminds me of my MSN SPACES blog when I often had to trim my friends list.

Today while doing my blog stroll through bloggersville I noticed a lot of bloggers have fallen off the grid without notice. I got may ERROR messages and links to I CAN’T FIND MY BLOG-WHY. Though a bit disappointed I just have to go with the flow thanking those that elected to stop blogging for their time, thoughts and shared experiences and clean up my blogroll.

http://davidfooks.com/farewell-invitation/Like life, bloggers come and go and all we can do is remember the lessons, debates and laughter with genuine appreciation for their presence however temporary.

One of the greatest lessons I have learnt thus far is, “you cannot hold onto people that do not want to be held.” It is a simplified way of saying, “Help me help you.”

Farwell calligraphy by David Fooks

55 comments:

  1. Good morning,"You cannot hold on to people that do not want to be held." That statement is so true.I like the quote, "Help me, help you." Simply we cannot help others if they don’t want to help themselves.But I am straying away about friends lists. At times clean ups are required.

    As for monosyllabic. You stated in your ABOUT ME: Introspective, Funny, Direct, Talkative yet Monosyllabic. I sumise...A person who is sometimes quiet and very wise with their words.Have a smooth week…Greg

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    Replies
    1. hmmmmm, that was a difficult but worthy lesson to learn, for my own benefits I try to always remember its tenets.

      Thank you.

      Delete
  2. Can’t say as I blame you. Spring-cleaning is always good. I think some are just to busy with life to take the time to stop and visit and enjoy. Too bad. They’re missing a lot. Me, I do like to visit certain blogs, but don’t take the time to post in my own, as I just don’t feel that anything I do would be of much interest to most on here.

    I belong to a forum called Pigeon Talk, And Pigeon Angels, as I have a small loft of pigeon rescues. We share things in common to talk about, and to learn through the experiences of others. There I have plenty to say. Here most would not be very interested, so why bore them with the stories.

    By I do so enjoy your writings, and your perspective on things. That probably isn’t fair to visit others and not post myself, but that way I communicate with those I enjoy, and save the others from having to put up with me. Anyway, I think a friend’s list should be made up more of quality than quantity anyway. Some just like collecting names. Those aren’t friends, and they don’t need to be on your list. Have a good day cleaning house, and do something good for you today. God Bless!

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    1. hmmmm, pigeon talk/pigeon angels? hmmmm, must be a real passion. I guess we all can use one to give us a sense of purpose.

      Thank you. Well I will have to take your word for it in terms of the way you communicate, after you do know yourself better than I know you. Unfortunately some patterns of bloggers mimic life perhaps its reasonably fitting since it is human beings participating after all.

      God bless you to. Thanks for stopping by and sharing with me.

      Delete
  3. First of all let me thank you for the picture album. My appearances around has been sporadic since I have been plagued with computer problems the last couple of weeks and assorted other dilemmas. I do a cleansing of my friends list every once and a while. Over the last year I have dropped about 30. I agree with your assesment.

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    1. You are welcome. Oh computers they are can by the joy and bain of ones existence simultaneously. 30..wow thats a lot.

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  4. I agree ~ but i do mine every few weeks, lol

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    1. Every week Martyn, is there anyone left?

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  5. I let time decide rather than doing the deed :)

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    1. hmmmm, that certainly is another option. Though I detest seeing long extended abscences from updating.

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  6. You are so correct. I have come to the realization that a lot of folks just want you to add them so that they can make up a huge number of friends for absolutely no reason. They don’t come by to read your contributions and most of the times they are the very ones who don’t have something worthy of a visit to their space either. Hence the reason why my list is short and sweet! Of course you’re there!

    Thanks for the encouragement, it really does mean a lot to me right now.

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    1. hmmmmm....peer pressure of comformitism perhaps?
      No problem, we all need to be encourage every so often, its called being human and that we are!

      Delete
  7. Sweeping out the cobwebs? Have fun with that.

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  8. I agree with you COMPLETELY. It is sometimes sad when regular visitors to the blog drop out. I wonder whether they are no longer interested?I sometimes also feel a bit cheated when some people just visit once so that they are sure that we will follow that back link and visit their blog. I have two such visitors who have never come back after that first visit! But thank you Rapsody dear- you have been a faithful friend.. BTW I am going to write a shocking piece over the next week. Please do read it and drop in your comments.

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    1. Unfortunately it happens and it take all kinds to make up the diversity in personalities and challenges. I have learnt to let people be who they are and not take everything they do personally but rather as a guide to me as to who to let me know how things are so I can then make an informed decisions that best fits my interest.

      You write it, I'll be there to read it. Peace.

      Delete
  9. I believe that if you want to stop blogging, you should inform your bloggers with a farewell post and not leave them wondering what happened to you.

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    1. This would be a beautiful courtesy but am afraid that is all it is and hense it is subjective. Those who want to will and those who don't care to won't. All we can do is go with the flow, you know.

      Yeah I have often wondered and then I learn to let it go.

      Delete
  10. I need to clean up my friends list too. Thanks for the faithful ones.

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    1. Amen to that, yes there are those who are to acknowledged for their faithfulness.

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  11. Replies
    1. hmmmmm....I never looked at it as being organized, though I see your point.

      I simply try to visit each person at least once or twice a month to say hello and weigh in on any subject they may be speaking on. So when on my route to fellow blogers I encounter the ERRORS I am surprised, i go back a few times just to ensure that it is infact ERROR and not my computer messing up, then i say my goodbye, give a mental best wishes and move on. I then update my blog by removing those that are no longer active.

      Delete
  12. I agree and I am guilty of sometimes not even getting a minute on the computer to let my blog friends know that I will be away. I am working on being better :) great post! But it is kinda one of those sitting in the church and you thing the sermon of the day is directed to just you lol

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  13. I think I am one of the hopefuls who always think they may come back again. I hardly trim my blogroll. lol

    - LDP

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    1. hmmmmmm, I was there once. Now I do not hold on to people that do not want to be held. I simply let go and let it be. If they come back-great, if not-best wishes.

      Delete
  14. Why be sad when some go?Their places are always taken by new readers.There is no deal that one should be present always.
    "For men may come and men may go,
    But I go on forever" (Tennyson).This illustrates best

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    1. when you enjoy communicating with someone and they decide to put an end to it, there is a sadness due to its end. It is the process of letting go, like all things, "this too shall pass"

      Delete
    2. Rhapsody my dear- the post is on line. It about a product that promises to make your vagina white!! Ha!! I think I have shocked the daylights out of some of my regulars- hope I will have no more casualties here :P But I must say I have been inspired by your straight talking- no mincing words style when I wrote this. Do drop by when you have time! Have a great week!

      Delete
    3. Make your vagina white?! Now why would I want to do such a thing? Oh I'll be there, trust that!

      Delete
  15. Many bloggers whom I really cared for stopped blogging and I felt very bad, but what to do, we have to move on...

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  16. I always like the way you write and comment in other people's blog...always objective and matured about it..i really appreciate you. Indeed like the phrase :can't hold on to people that don't want to be held! Yes, help me, i help you..just like the common adage in my country ;Scratch my back, i scratch yours'
    You push, i push you, that is when a dog says, the play is sweet.

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    1. Thank you, I try to be objective.....

      Delete
  17. So true, sista. I guess life gets in the way for many of us. Or sometimes people move on to other things. What keeps me going is my love of writing - Great hobby as well as therapy and it costs nothing but time.

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    1. Like you I enjoy writing so am here doing my thang, though my more creative pieces are prone to the right inspirtations/moods etc.

      Delete
    2. Adura,
      You said it all, it costs nothing but time! For me, i had to change my blog name to reflect my blogger name for SEO things n whatever but a lot of people think i'm off injuring but i'm still here... I have discovered that( as Rhapsody states) that a lot of people open Blogger account just for follow follow(just as some will ff on twitter and ask for a ff back) but it takes REAL people to appreciate whatever you do(whether sick or otherwise)...

      Delete
    3. Welcome Da Injurer, thank you for participating in our discussion. I have learn to appreciate all that some, even those who only pass through temporarily.

      Delete
  18. true,Rhapsody.It hurts for some time

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    1. Like everything else in life you learn to move on.

      Delete
  19. I also agree but sometimes, i just hope and pray they get back particularly when there was no farewell message :)

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    1. Yeah, sometimes I wonder, are they well. I pray that they are and then I let go.

      Delete
  20. A very good idea for a post. Why didn't I think of this?
    The quote from above,“you cannot hold onto people that do not want to be held.” struck me differently from you. I do agree with it but I interpeted it differently. Not right. Just differently. My impression was, you can't deal with someone who doesn't want your input. Move on. Don't waste your energy or life. Then again we could both be saying the same thing, with different words based on different experiences.
    My brain hurts.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I have learnt to accept other's right to govern their selves as they see fit. They have the right to choose whatever/however, for me I simply stay in acceptance. It is what it is and their is not much I can do about it but accept.

      Delete
  21. I agree with the others who have already acknowledged to fabulousness of this blog entry . . . great post. Great comments, too.

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    1. thank you, it is nice to hear everyones voice on the matter.

      Delete
    2. Beautifully said...“you cannot hold onto people that do not want to be held.”

      I love it, learned it in real life first. Not it applies to the internet.

      Just stopping in to say hi. I hope you're having a good week.

      Delete
    3. Blessings my friend. My week goes good thus far. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  22. Life life. People make entrances and exits..announced or unannounced. Best thing i think should happen is hope they return and if they don't,Life must go on...

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  23. Great quote: You can't hold on to someone who doesn't want to be held.

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    1. thank you. hard lesson to learn because we often want to hold onto that which feels good even when its pass its course.

      Delete
  24. Oh phew! You didn't trim me off. :-) I've just been up to my ears with travel and a million other things. Sigh...

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    1. absolutely not! Must be nice, being able to travel around and see the world. I hope to do that one day, God willing.

      Delete
  25. Hi Sis, interesting. A time comes in life when we need to trim/weed out the unnecessary things/people in our lives-and I am not just talking about blogrolls alone, lol. For me, I love to write and I started the blogging thing just to vent on things that interest me. I also see myself as a lifelong student-so I try to seek out fellow muses to see what their opinion on issues are-which is how I stumbled on your blog, among many other wonderful bloggers that I have met along the way. I however stopped blogging for over a year due to personal challenges, and for someone who was a newbie on blog ville, I guess it did not stand me in a good stead, because the little followers I had, disappeared, lol. However, I am back now and I intend to continue expressing myself and trusting for the best. I guess as I garner more experience, I will sift the chaff from the grain and not bother with people who do not appreciate me, the way I do them, because friendship is a two way street-give and take. I honestly pray to keep and grow my followers and also pray that I am not compelled to trim at some point, hahahahahahaha.

    ReplyDelete

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