Nov 5, 2011

20 When is Love not enough or Is it?

Some say love is the answer

That love heals all things

But …

When is love not enough

When does it fall short?

Or …

Does it?

Most of us are familiar with Tina Turner's song..."What's love got to do with it" I mean my definition i have is attributed to knowing her past of domestic abuse since the love she received was interpreted with blows "beatings". So I kind of see her point or rather the point of the song.

  • A woman say she loves her husband but belittles him every chance she gets, he loves her but is unable to continue living with the constant humiliation and all attempts at addressing the issue has failed. Should he stay because he loves her, should love be enough?
  • A man claims to love his wife and adore the very ground she walks on but yet he is constantly having affairs and has even given his wife a sexual transmitted disease from his transgressions. Despite his promise to stop and counselling he continues to cheat should she stay because she loves him, even though she might be clearly at risk for another STD or worst AIDS?
  • Some Mothers & Fathers fail to provide for their families not because of their inability to work but there unwillingness to see beyond their own needs so they invest in drugs, gambling, partying, and going out with the boys/girls while their family at home slowing decay/starve. Should the family who are the recipients of these treatments stay, not complain because they know they are loved?


I understand for every negative I use here there is a positive that can be told alongside it to show love endures but I am using the negative to show the things that challenges Love.

  • The man that calls his wife a bitch and a whore and then expects her to lay down and enjoy him
  • The woman that emasculates her husband/partner by turning his vulnerabilities against him
  • The child that is told that they are a worthless piece of dumb fuck and stupid everyday that is punctuated by a slap or a kick
  • The woman that is slammed against the wall by her husband who does it while saying "I love you"
  • The man who is beaten by his wife but is too humiliated to report it because he is laughed at
  • The family members that suppose to protect you deliberately make you the butt of the jokes by taking your hurts and making it entertainment during gatherings and family events.

These are the things that wear the human spirit down, that get people jaded and force them to walk away. Some recover and learn to love again; some are not that fortune because their hurt and humiliation run to deep without any hope or faith along the way to trickle in and help restore what once was.

The bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that about love, about its patience, its kindness, long-suffering, neither knowing envy or jealousy nor boastfulness or conceitedness.

Love in its ideal is not the question on the table here but rather love when its rocked by these common realities or dare I say our "humanness". I think the problem is our interpretation of love, which is influenced by our culture; tradition, philosophies and ethos because any form of ABUSE is not something I won't classify as love but the perpetrators of these acts do in fact designate their actions as love.

So my question is as above:

When is love not enough, or does a question such as this not exists?

Can the love of self be the equalizer? The reasoned?

  • Is loving the Self the key that will allows us all, especially those that are stock/trapped in cyclical toxic relationships to coherently rise up and choose their selves?
  • Would loving oneself wholly and completely allow one to escape or rather eclipse the twisted, toxic notions of love by those who’s physical, emotional and psychological interpretation of it means abuse and brutality?
  • What probably solutions you can offer to the ones who have experience this toxic kind of love?
  • What suggestions would you give if facing someone with these experiences that is looking to you for guidance?

Talk to me people, let me here what you have to offer on my query. I am most interesting in your take on this.....



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