Forgiveness, a concept (easy to say) verses practice (hard to do)?
Concept: to forgive, forget, move on. The trouble is with the concept of forgiveness one can pay a whole lot of lip service to the idea, talk righteously about granting absolution, and sermonize to every Tom, Dick, Harry, Larry and John about how people should forgive and forget and just move on. Often one is told by well intentioned loved ones, family and friends to just, “let the past be the past”, “let it go”, “forget about it” without providing the tools by which one can accomplished the act of getting to forgiveness and the implementation of “moving on” as if mouthing the words or going through the motion would solve the core of the issue. Now while there is of some value in these sentiments I dare say that application i.e. putting them into practice. It requires more than lip service in order for one to get to that place. There have to be a willingness to delve into the complexities (hurts, traumas) of whatever issues brought forth the ugliness before forgiveness is even a possibility.
Practice: The practice of forgiveness is complex and harder because it requires more than lip service. It requires commitment to first deal with “SELF”, “Issue(s)” and that is not simple. It is only then the subject of forgiveness can be addressed. When one reaches that place where they are ready to forgive it is liberating and it allows for the exorcist of demons past.
Forgetting: Is it possible to forget? No…., it’s impossible because some of those very experiences shaped and influenced who you have become. You've learnt to see the blessing in the storm and most of all you've learnt how to simply move on and not let that shit own you or weigh you down.
Is forgiveness worth it? Absolutely because you free yourself of the psychological and emotional burden, plus when you forgive it is not for the other it is for the “I”.
I have a question: Who do you need to forgive to release, to be free to realize your excellence?
Think about it, liberate yourself, you deserve to live a life free of oppressive garbage; it’s time to lay down all the excess baggage, it’s time to throw it all away and live. This is your life, TAKE IT BACK!
Mindfulness Thought...
Sometimes the hardest thing to do (although not impossible) is to give oneself the blessing of "self-forgiveness" because of all the internalized "stuff". The act of forgiving oneself ones humanness at times is the ultimate challenge but who can be more deserving?
“forgiveness is the light that shows the way to moving forward unencumbered by past hurts and traumas”. D.B.S.Rhapsody©2008/2009/2010/2011
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So thought proviking and soul shaking. I have and still do struggle with the concept of forgiveness. I just began to do it (regardless of my feelings). I did it over and over again until I could literally feel the burdens lift. I actually had the realization that those "anger tapes" connected to my unforgiveness stopped rolling across my mind when I was reminded of the one(s) I needed to forgive. I now know the freedom associated with forgiving/forgiveness. Because it soooo hard to forget the past (especially negative and hurtful situations/people). I’ve learned to speak out loud, forgiveness everytime I have negative, bitter or hurtful thoughts against anyone and everyone who has hurt me. So, I don’t forget but, I’m freed up from having to replay those situations in my soul. They don’t come around as often as I’m reminded of them. It’s like they are made of no consequence, their power over me is destroyed. Overall, forgiveness stirs up the peace that Chirst Jesus came to give and repentance secures the joy of the Lord our God (but, thats another discussion altogether). We can all over come the pain that would otherwise control our lives, if we really desire it. Thanks for this post.
ReplyDelete@styln It is a struggle I think we all share. Sometimes we are dragged kicking and screaming into forgiveness, not for anyone else but ourselves for our own healing. Sometimes one has to take it moment to moment. It is a journey well worth taking.
ReplyDeleteJust stopping in to say hi and see how you are. This is a good post, very well said. Hope all is welll with you.
ReplyDeleteI am doing good Leona, today I am on top of the world, tomorrow will have to speak for itself. Thanks for stopping by, stay blessed.
ReplyDeletePeople fail to realize forgiveness is not a one time act that magically transforms a shattered heart. When the hurt is deep and life shattering, it takes a lifetime of godly choices to learn how to interact with the forgiven offender. Thanks for stopping by! Have a great evening!
ReplyDelete@Desiree Great point, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi Ms Rhapsody, Just dropping by to say hello but not without gaining some valuable counsel. Good advice!j
ReplyDeleteThank You for the clearity in taking back my Life. I already know who I will forward this to…
ReplyDeleteI think I need to forgive myself most of all.
ReplyDeleteAgree with DESIREE...it takes time & the GRACE of GOD to forgive & forget deep cuts.
ReplyDeleteAs you have rightly said forgiving is not related to us forgiving someone for wrongs done to us but also covers forgiving ourselves for wrongs done by us to others.The act of forgiving is personal and need not be told to the other who had hurt us.It is done primarily to free ouelves from the effects of anger or guilt.There are no guidelines on how to forgive.It is opening your heart and freeing your mind of bitterness.
ReplyDeleteAn excellent post making one to think.
Really inspiring post. Often the concept of forgiveness is misunderstood because people think they are doing it for the other person when in fact they need to free themselves from the bondage of holding the other person. If you don't free the other person, you are stuck together in the same room.
ReplyDelete@Ibhade, KParthasarathi and Adura Ojo (Naijalines) you each made an some excellent points, the biggest tasks is moving from knowing to doing, to accepting and allow grace to move us into forgivingness and living it out.
ReplyDeleteA very thought provoking post. Thanks Fab!!
ReplyDeleteforgiving someone that hurt you so bad can be really hard, especially when the person is unrepentant.
ReplyDeletenow following u on twitter :)
@kitkat Isn't that the truth though? In the Caribbean they like to throw around a term, "be the bigger person." and that gets you pissed off even more because your are thinking, ‘hold up, wait just a damn minute, why do I have to be the one to take the high ground? I didn't do anything wrong!’ And that righteous indignation eats at you, then you get mad at the people who told you to take the moral high ground then eventually you calm down and you realize the road to the moral high ground i.e. being the bigger one is not so much about the other person, it is about you, you not getting stuck in the anger and being held hostage by the hurt and trauma essentially binding yourself to the person that perpetrated the hurt against you. Quite a conundrum won’t you say? Life is funny that way isn't it?
ReplyDeleteVery good advice. Great blog!
ReplyDelete@Sherry Thank you both for coming and the appreciation.
ReplyDeleteForgiving others when they offend us isnt easy. Especially when they keep repeating the same offense and just throw around the word "please forgive me" and before you know it,they are doing the same thing again. Forgiveness though is necessary so that I * the forgiver* can be free.
ReplyDelete@Okeoghene I would say that if its a constant re-occurence then its definitely time to makes some decisions in terms of distance as it is sometimes required for true healing to begin.
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