Today is a sober day for me, on the heels of some concerning news – my friend is in the hospital. While waiting to get through to the hospital i checked my email and received this email from a friend, it made me smile in a moment when i needed one. She is in recovery,“thank God” - had brain surgery. *Sigh* in the spirit of keeping the soul light I thought I’d share the smile….
EMAIL - VODKA SIPPING PRIEST
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
The next Sunday the new priest took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
- Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
- There are 10 commandments, not 12.
- There are 12 disciples, not 10.
- Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
- Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
- We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
- The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
- David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
- When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
- We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
- When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
- The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
- Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's!
Hope you were able to smile, Lord knows I needed one today. There is humour in everything and one can get a smile in the midst of a storm, a reassurance that no matter the plight everything will be alright.
For those who may think this is blasphemy please don’t go there or take it so seriously, try to see that in sharing the moment it is also sharing the faith and passing along information about the bible.
I’ll keep you posted…