Jul 2, 2011

15 BAD BREATH

What's my peeve you ask? BAD BREATH!

People please, please, please, in the name of all that is Holy, please brush your damn teeth! Mercy! it only takes, what, 2 minutes?

Incident 1: Face Full of Stink

Do you know how irritating it is to walk up to a sales person in a department store and ask for assistance and get a face full of stink air so bad it paralyzes you until you get amnesia? Its an effective brain eraser because it wiped my memory clean, i forgot why i was there, the only thing that was on my mind was run. I mean you ever pray for a stuffed nose? Well i was praying for a stuffed nose that day.

Incident 2: Be careful what you wish for…

You all know the adage…be careful what you wish for you just might get it? Well i had my day. I was on my way to an interview sitting on the bus when it stopped to pick up passengers. In steps this fine looking man….oooh Mercy! ladies you know the type am talking about, the kind that make you want to stand up and howl at the moon. So i am sitting in my seat checking him out and concentrating, doing my ESP thing…lol, lol, you know the mantra "come sit by me", "come sit by me", "come sit by me", "come sit by me", and lo and behold, mister oh so fine came and sat by me. So now am playing it cool and looking for a way to start up a conversation when he beat me to the punch and started talking and i made the mistake of turning to face him. OOOOh Mercy! Can somebody say Tic Tac, Tic Tac. Jeez-u-mother-murphy, my eyes started to water, my face start to twitch on its own and i had to look away. Of course i do it as stylishly as possible so i played it off like i was looking to see where i was going, and strategically stuck my head near the window for a mouth full of fresh air. Now i am in a dilemma, of my own making i might add. This guy was just a regular chatterbox and i was just dying in the corner, yes people i was in the corner seat, no graceful exit. Finally, i could not make it anymore and I rang the bell, ask to be excused, said goodbye, and practically ran to the exit. I got off three stops before my schedule stop and walked the rest of the way. Anything to get away….eeewww…damn!

Incident 3 – Cheese Teeth…

Strolling through the mall one day i was hungry and decided to take a detour to the food court. There i perused all the competing eateries and the competitive prices to make my decision. While considering my options my eye landed on someone, i thought familiar. I stopped and looked and i was right, a familiar face. It was this guy i worked with years ago at Mc Donalds, yes people Mc Donalds, what can i say, survival will dictate that you do what is necessary. Anyway as i was saying, i went over and said hi and tried to catch up on what he been doing over the years kind of thing, and then he smiled, teeth yellow like cheese and build up stacked like bricks. I didn’t have to get closer to smell his breath because the memory quickly came back to me. I mean when this guy laughs some of the build up moves with it and the gums are red, i just had to wrap up the conversation quickly suddenly i had an appointment to run to. Yuck and he is cooking people’s food. Well, needless to say i didn't eat there.

15 comments:

  1. This is just to hilarious……especially when the guy you OH so hoped would sit by you. Ended up owning one of your pet peeves,had me crackin up….But no seriously………….PEOPLE BRUSH THEM TEETH ……PLEASE!………USE GUM ……PLEASE!……or….JUST DON’T TALK!…..PLEASE! and thank you!….lol. Keep up with your rants…I like ur writing style.

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  2. Oh yes! Definitely! Floss, too!!!

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  3. Haha boy oh boy the second one was hilarious wow u actually got out before your stop.

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  4. This is absolutely funny but for God's sake, it doesn't take much to brush those teeth and save yourself the embarrassment while saving others from developing selective amnesia (One selects not to forget to run away)

    And by the way, Rhapsody should have patiently worked on her mantra again wishing the guy to go away instead of jumping out and walking three stops

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  5. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW YUCK-YUCK!!!! SO Sorry U had to Go through all that. Guess someone people just decide to take their anger upon the world by not brushing. So sorry..Ewww and lol @ The 1st Incident..the amnesia 1..:)

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  6. LoL!!! Tewwwww funny!! especially the amnesia due to the bad breath of the sales person. LoooooL!!

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  7. *´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Oh my. I do know what you mean. I have come across similar situations. Ewww! There's been times that I had to step back from a person and wonder if I should hand them some gum or toilet paper! Do they make order eaters for stinky mouths? They should, don't you think, cause sometimes even gum or candy just doesn't cut it when a person is on the go and in-between brushings!
    This did make for a funny read.

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  8. Bad breath, body odor, it's everywhere. Ah the lost art of personal hygene. Around here I'd like to heard all these people onto the islands in the harbor so they could enjoy each others aroma. It reminds me of a line my favorite comedian George Carlin had. I'll clean it up for your blog as George was not afraid to use colorful language.
    "BAD BREATH! You could knock a buzzard off a poop wagon!"

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  9. LOL!

    You would think the supervisors would advise their sales people about personal hygiene.

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  10. *´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Testing... 1,2,3 - Yup, I can finally once again make comments on Blogger. Yes! Have a great evening my friend.

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  11. I think that is everywhere is same and make me put you off for awhile stopped my breathing LOL!
    Some people who has a bad stomach and bad teeth that cause a bad breath too.
    Any bad smell "NO thank you"

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  12. Very hilarious post but with a great lesson. These days some people think brushing teeth is not important and personal hygiene takes less importance to many other activities. It is said that we should brush our teeth at least twice daily and gargling well after meals is very important.
    It is disgusting to talk to people with bad breath although those people are not aware their mouths are stinking. You had some terrible experience in this regard. I enjoyed reading your hilarious presentation.

    Have a lovely Sunday,
    Joseph

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  13. LOL!! I can laugh at you now but thank goodness i'm not there to smell/see this stuff lol.

    Adiya
    Muse Origins (formerly The Corner Shop)

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  14. I couldn't help laughing, though for people that have this problem, it's not funny at all...a school mate of mine had it....she has clean white teeth, yet, the odour is nuseating!

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  15. LMAO here oh dear Rhapsody,
    Love the Face Full of Stink...you slay me!!!
    It is a pet peeve of mine too! I carry a toothbrush, paste, floss in my purse but keep breath mints in my pocket. I am obsessed.
    My most horrific experience was a Dentist, my Dentist no longer, but I had to sit in the chair way to long, stuck and nearly vomited. ewww!!!
    This is great!

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