Jul 2, 2011

15 BAD BREATH

What's my peeve you ask? BAD BREATH!

People please, please, please, in the name of all that is Holy, please brush your damn teeth! Mercy! it only takes, what, 2 minutes?

Incident 1: Face Full of Stink

Do you know how irritating it is to walk up to a sales person in a department store and ask for assistance and get a face full of stink air so bad it paralyzes you until you get amnesia? Its an effective brain eraser because it wiped my memory clean, i forgot why i was there, the only thing that was on my mind was run. I mean you ever pray for a stuffed nose? Well i was praying for a stuffed nose that day.

Incident 2: Be careful what you wish for…

You all know the adage…be careful what you wish for you just might get it? Well i had my day. I was on my way to an interview sitting on the bus when it stopped to pick up passengers. In steps this fine looking man….oooh Mercy! ladies you know the type am talking about, the kind that make you want to stand up and howl at the moon. So i am sitting in my seat checking him out and concentrating, doing my ESP thing…lol, lol, you know the mantra "come sit by me", "come sit by me", "come sit by me", "come sit by me", and lo and behold, mister oh so fine came and sat by me. So now am playing it cool and looking for a way to start up a conversation when he beat me to the punch and started talking and i made the mistake of turning to face him. OOOOh Mercy! Can somebody say Tic Tac, Tic Tac. Jeez-u-mother-murphy, my eyes started to water, my face start to twitch on its own and i had to look away. Of course i do it as stylishly as possible so i played it off like i was looking to see where i was going, and strategically stuck my head near the window for a mouth full of fresh air. Now i am in a dilemma, of my own making i might add. This guy was just a regular chatterbox and i was just dying in the corner, yes people i was in the corner seat, no graceful exit. Finally, i could not make it anymore and I rang the bell, ask to be excused, said goodbye, and practically ran to the exit. I got off three stops before my schedule stop and walked the rest of the way. Anything to get away….eeewww…damn!

Incident 3 – Cheese Teeth…

Strolling through the mall one day i was hungry and decided to take a detour to the food court. There i perused all the competing eateries and the competitive prices to make my decision. While considering my options my eye landed on someone, i thought familiar. I stopped and looked and i was right, a familiar face. It was this guy i worked with years ago at Mc Donalds, yes people Mc Donalds, what can i say, survival will dictate that you do what is necessary. Anyway as i was saying, i went over and said hi and tried to catch up on what he been doing over the years kind of thing, and then he smiled, teeth yellow like cheese and build up stacked like bricks. I didn’t have to get closer to smell his breath because the memory quickly came back to me. I mean when this guy laughs some of the build up moves with it and the gums are red, i just had to wrap up the conversation quickly suddenly i had an appointment to run to. Yuck and he is cooking people’s food. Well, needless to say i didn't eat there.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...