She said, "OK, thank you," and calmly gave the child the cellphone. He slapped her 3 more times and took it.
I was infuriated. I looked at her thinking, 'she is raising somebody's husband, a man that will surely beat his significant other to get his way?' Don't get me wrong I understand that what I witnessed can be a small insight to a much bigger problem. He could be mimicking what he sees at home (his father domineering his mother). But dammit I can't stand that shit. I don't want to bear witness to it to have it add to the landscape of my observed experience. I just don't. I abhor violence in any form.
MESSAGE TO BOTH PARENTS
Discipline is not the F word. You are your children's guide until they learn to navigate their world and take over their self-governance YOU ARE IT. Your job is to teach them right from wrong, action and consequence, how to navigate their emotions - to take time out to breathe when they are feeling overwhelmed and express their selves in ways that is affirming. Your purpose is to teach them self-respect and the value of choices. If you don't know how then Learn! But for God sakes don't raise your child to become a bully, an abuser, a statistic, a loser in action, word and deed.
While we may have no say in what they do when they are grown and self-governing you are responsible when the are little human beings for laying a solid foundation of respect, truth, integrity, honor, self-sufficiency and hard work. Understand this, as a parent you teach not only by what you do and say, you also teach by what you don't do, fail to do and don't say and fail to say. You are the template and they are watching and mimicking you.
MESSAGE TO MOTHERS WITH SONS
You are raising the men of tomorrow, the future. Wake up! You have a hand in who they become. Teach your son's to be self-sufficient, to cook, to clean, to love and respect their selves and to be respectful, compassionate, strong and empathetic. You have to give them the tools which they can use to navigate the world. You have to send them out equipped and confident not lacking, slacking, self-depreciating and insecure.
My take is, you were entirely justified in your reaction and caution to the parent. Unfortunately, such misbehavior stems from a dysfunctional home life --which is harder to correct.
ReplyDeleteI think that parents needs to know there part in what can be children's bad habit.
DeleteAbuse of women is my platform, but it's bad to see abuse in any form, so this shocked and saddened me because this little boy is already on a path to mistreat women. I wonder what else this poor woman is dealing with at home, and am now keeping here in prayer. Hugs...RO
ReplyDeleteIt certainly begs the question.
DeleteHonestly, parenting can be very tiring, but we can't allow ourselves to get tired because of one pressure or the other. The story is so sad.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed tiring and you are right it is not something we can afford. It was sad absolutely.
DeleteImpressive post, it is very inspiring! Wise words and some very good advice.
ReplyDeleteYou did a wonderful job presenting this, thanks for taking time to put this together and for sharing it.
Wishing you a Blessed Sunday!
Thank you.
DeleteA blessed week to you.
Just saying hi, stopping in to see what's new with you and to show my face. I hope you had a nice week.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a wonderful and Blessed Sunday!
Blessings and thank you. As always, its a pleasure.
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