Oct 25, 2013

24 "Mind your business"; When is your business not your business?

When is “Your Business” NOT "your business?"
Common sense says (although common sense is “not common”) …

§  When you choose to argue uproariously in public infringing on other peoples right not to be privy to the things that is pissing you off

§  When you speak loudly on your cell phone, telling all within earshot what you did, when you did it and with whom you did it giving date, time and location.
§  When you decide to play tonsil hockey (French kiss) in public feeling on each other and groaning loudly.

§  Write your issues on public blogs without first activating the no comment option & expect people not to respond, then get angry when they do

§  When you confide in others without first asking them if they are willing to keep your confidence
The Debate:
Some say that "Your business” is always “your business" regardless to where you decide to expose it. Do you agree? I do not.

The thing is, when you decide whether consciously or unconsciously to “air” your business in public you are in fact by virtue of the venue extending an open invitation for others to engage, participate and usher in unsolicited advice/action.

Now I understand that some of you may say, "hell no, your business is your business regardless and people should stay out of it, be quiet and not get involved or give their opinion." I am of two mines about this. On one hand I understand not wanting others to interject where you may feel they have no place, on the other hand that deliberate disconnect can be a double edged sword. What if you are in real trouble and really need help and someone butting in means saving your life? Sheds a whole new light on the subject when you think about it that way does it not?

Therein lies (the rub) the dilemma right, how does one know when to mind their own business and when it is necessary not to? I often hear people complain (myself included) how people do not help (come to the aid of others in need). You hear/read of incidences where someone was attacked and no one helped, no one called the police etc, and you think, 'Lord have mercy, that could have been me, my mother, sister, daughter, brother, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.' What is one to do?

This Inquiring Mind Wants To Know - What say you?:
  • When do we forfeit (surrender) our right to tell someone "mind your own business" or do we?
  • How do we know when to get involved in the appropriate way at the appropriate time and for the right reason?

Art: Sister in red by Charles Bibbs

24 comments:

  1. That is a very good question. I have no answer for it. :-)

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    1. I know the feeling. I guess when all is said and done one has to use their judgment/instincts?

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  2. I agree with you. Getting involved in someone else's business is a judgment call. If someone needs help, you have to make a quick, rational decision. It's not easy being human.

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  3. When genuinely concerned people who normally are not intrusive tell us something out of their knowledge or experience,we listen carefully without invoking the 'mind your own business'This answers your first question
    Unsolicited we should not offer advice or poke our nose in other's business unless they are very close and your failure to intervene may result in some harm to them.This disposes off your second one.

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    1. hmmmmm......insightful point of view.
      "We should not offer advice or poke our nose in other's peoples business," hmmmm, even if its in public, loud and escalating?
      hmmmmmm....i shall ponder your input thank you.

      Delete
  4. Your business is your business until you force others listen to it(especially repeatedly). if you want to keep it your business keep it to yourselves !!!! Once again love your spicy blog ! sarcastic humour is the spice of life, keep it comin’

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    1. Oh you are preaching to the choir, my sentiments exactly! Although my blog visitors and friends are giving me much food for thought.

      thank you for sharing.

      Delete
  5. Well, the title is a little confusing because "My" business will always be "My" business dispite how other people feel about it beacause it is INHERANTLY mine and no one elses buisness unless i make it theirs…then it becomes their business…and regardless of circumstance their unique perspective on it causes it to becomes their busness..(if you follow my logic)Basicaly….anything that causes harmful or discomforting or disturbing situation, in others is innapropriate. Each society decides where the lines are. (What may seem normal to us may offend people in the more conseravtive China for instance)The best way of telling if you’ve crossed the line is other people’s reactions…and the best way of teaching people is by reacting badly towards innapropriate behavior. Unfortunately the media….in it’s scramble for sensational new ways of catching people’s attention keeps pushing that boundry. My Grandmother for instance would have been beaten for having her elbows on a table during a meal less than a hundred years ago. The best you can do is try and instruct your children to behave conservatively.. to value a certain level of class…and to carry themselves with pride. If you manage to do that you will have acheived much more than merely humiliating some inconsequential idiot who cannot follow normal lines of deceny

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    1. hmmmmmmmm, interesting reasoning.
      thank you for sharing.

      Delete
  6. In this age blogging, vlogging, facebooking, tweeting and instagramming -- to name only a few social media platforms -- real privacy can be only be maintained if you choose not to engage AT ALL. If you put it out there, then it ceases to be public. Period. Now, as this relates to your other personal business, any information you would not like to have shared needs to remain with you. Period. But even that is a thing of the past because so much of one's life can literally be found on-line with a little careful digging. Buy a house, your address, your purchase price, your home value is all available for everyone to see. Send an email and there is trail which follows you forever. Allow someone to take a picture of you and have someone (other than you) upload that picture and tag you, and your anonymity dissolves. It begs the question . . . what is privacy? Does that even still exist?

    Sometimes, however, intervention is critical for safety purposes. For example, the battered wife, who comes to work with bruises or a black eye or her arm in a sling . . . yet says nothing . . . is she entitled to her privacy or is the a responsibility as brothers and sisters to help her in her helplessness? Do we have an obligation to make her business ours? Does she make a conscience choice for privacy when she keeps what is actually happening to herself or when she lies to cover up what is happening behind her closed and locked front door? Does her silence reflect her choice to accept what happens to her? Or is her silence a cry for help? Who makes that judgment call? In that instance, does she have a right to privacy? Is her silenece a reflection of her valid internal fear or her inability for her to speak for herself?

    Your questions are good but complicated. I think that our best sensibilities will need to prevail.

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    1. Blessings girl, its been a minute.....
      vlogging? Oh video blogging, hmmmm, you more hip to the script of social media than me.

      You make excellent points it would seem with all our "socializing" we have out privacy(ed) "if there is such a word" ourselves out of privacy so much so that Privacy.....does seem a farce.

      Delete
  7. I cosign with jazz wife, completely.

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    1. She does make excellent points does she, i have to say i agree as well but i see to be doing that along all the comments as people raise some interesting view points.

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  8. Hi sis. I find this this topic really useful and before I share an experience that happened recently to me, I want to say that it's been a while. I took a short course at a business school and it's been quite tasking. Thankfully, I'm done this week.

    With regards to this business of minding one's business, I totally agree with jazz wife. If you bring your personal business to the public domain of social media, then others will help you to mind it! Recently, I got a twitter suggestion in my yahoo for an erstwhile family member and out of morbid curiosity, I decided to check out her profile, only to see that she had a blog, and other wonderful titles which I personally know to be fictitious. I visited the blog, only to discover that she had put up a post about personal family issues, but nicely edited her infamous role in the whole saga. Someone, whom I do not know, who apparently knows the story of what happened, posted a comment and told her to stop acting the victim as he was privy to the story and knew what role she had played; he chided her and asked her to take her fair shame of blame as she could only deceived those who did not know her or what happened. To my greatest shock, next day, I receive a mail from her alleging that I had put the person up to writing it, and wrote all sorts of rubbish to me. I told her one truth in a nutshell. If you do not want your matter out in the public, then do not click the 'publish' button because one way or the other, people will read you and respond to you! I told her that if you bothered to write at all, then one should bother to read as well, else, you keep it private and change your settings to reflect that.

    While I do not believe in barging into other people's businesses uninvited, I believe that social media is a different kettle of fish entirely. Your chances of privacy are quite slim-better to write in a diary, lol.

    However, if we are sensitive to the people around us, some actually send out distressed signals- non-verbal codes that we can unscramble, if we are looking out for them, and love them enough to barge in uninvited, once we have earned the right/trust to do it, else, just remain supportive and say nothing.

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    1. hmmmmmmmm,
      wow interesting saga.
      You know when you hang your laundry out to dry in the sun many will see and many more will comment on what they see, when they see, how they see and why they felt the urge to share what they now feel the know about all that they saw and witnessed.

      Lesson to all of us:"
      when we open our ourselves up and show our insides some will have lots to say, see, recite and judge. "a secret in only a secret when not shared, once shared its out there for public consumption.

      Delete
  9. This a great post and it's very timely in this day of technology and social media. I agree whole-heartedly with all that you've said here. And, the visitors have clarified, amplified, and enhanced it. Love, love, love it!

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    1. lol @ tonsil hockey. I have no answer because no rule works. Even if we all agree each should use common sense and discretion, common sense and discretion are as varied as the people involved. I actually think people should be ready for the consequences of invading other people's private space with their personal ish but also the invadees should exercise some restraint and civility in expressing dissatisfaction. (Sorry for the plenty nonsense lol)

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    2. Ah, Common Sense, such a valuable skill that many lack so that common sense is not so common and when used is used inadequately. Wise feedback, thanks......

      Discretion....Key.

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  10. Some how I think many have loss the common decency to know when and where to disclose "their" business. I always find it odd for people posting on social media sites saying that other's should stay out of their business. When no would know unless they disclose it.

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You Are Enough. Right here, Right now, In this moment, YOU. ARE. ENOUGH!

By All Means Speak Your Mind. However, Please Observe These 3 Basic Rules.

1. No form of abuse is allowed, everyone is entitled to their point of view (pov) as we all see and articulate the world differently, be respectful and speak without offending.

2. Please stay on the topic of discussion

3. Agree to Disagree

So what say you?

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