Jan 23, 2013


Lady Sheesh
Repost-A reminder to myself
First:              what is advice?
Advice is just another word for counsel, suggestion (it can also be an opinion), i.e. recommendations, tools whether theoretical or actual that you are sharing with a person or persons on how best to deal with a particular person(s), situation and or subject.
Second:         Be sure that your advice is requested by the party/parties to whom you are offering it.
Note:             Offering advice does not mean that the “advice” given will be applied (in whole or in part), appreciated or even considered, it simply means that you have shared (hopefully because you were asked) strategies on how to address a particular issue(s), subject(s) or persons
My point:
 ¦   It is wise to note that when you are giving advice it is really suggestions that may or may not be applied because the person receiving the “advice” can and have the right to choose to take it or leave it.
 ¦   Always make sure your advice is welcomed, requested, warranted and wanted
 ¦   Bear in mind that the person asking more than likely already knows what to do however they may simply be seeking clarity on the issue because at times different perspectives can at times bring comprehension where it may have otherwise been lost
 ¦   Be mindful that sometimes people may ask for your advice to escape taking responsibility for their lives so that they always have someone else to blame when things fall apart, do not go right or not work out.
 ¦   Be mindful of your intention when giving, offering advice, it will help to maintain objectivity, clarity and articulation
So when offering, or giving, advice, i.e. counsel, suggestions, recommendations, check your ego at the door.
For those soliciting/asking/seeking advice…
 ¦   Listen without getting defensive
 ¦   Pay attention on whether or not the suggestions are valid and with merit,
 ¦   Bear in mind that you ask for it and good advice is good advice, it can come from anywhere and anyone
 ¦   The person offering/giving the advice cannot really dictate what you will and will not do
 ¦   The final decision regardless of the advice and its intent is always yours
Peace people, have an absolutely fabulous week
D.S.B.Rhapsody©All rights reserved.

If you copy this article in part or in whole and do not give credit and link back here to Rhapsody Phoenix then you stole it. In other words….
You are a thief.
It’s that simple.


  1. I had no idea that blogs could be so ineresting. Well to be honest I like really just got into "blogging", and like I have no regrets about it.I’ve read some "interesting" and completely different points of views, all in all I’d have to say that, well your blog was kinda refreshing, sorta like a breath of fresh air…well let me explain…I usually float around the net(well now that I think about it,I’m on a cloud in my everyday life too..)with a huge chunk of the world on my shoulder, crashing into every exsperiecne, like a moose in heat..well an example: imagine waking up in the morning, no hot water so you can’t take a shower before work. You get dressed look outside, only to realize your car has been stollen, so you rush back inside to call the police, and forgeting that your going to be late for work, and to top it off, today was the "big" day to discuss your promotion.The only availible person to give a lift to work, is your anoying neibour who still thinks your a snob because your tree hangs over into his back yard..he agree’s to giving you a ride if you promise to have dinner with him…you finally get to work, only to realize, you are far to late, infact they are already deciding what to order out for lunch, well there goes the promotion..(where is the sympathy)….so everyone is going with chinese today for lunch, when it comes time to take your order, you completely freeze, for you now just realized in your rush to get to work, you forgot your wallet..you ask around, but know ones got enogh extra cash, well not no one….So do you copp out or are you forced to ask "Greg", the co-worker from hell, who gazes at you as if you were his "last supper"…you muster up courage to swallow "lots" and I mean gallons full of pride, just to ask him…and when you finally do, he chooses this momment to "pay" you back for rufusing his gropes and his grade 1 pick up lines….well it’s now 7:30 pm, and your just leaving the office,you go to flag a cab, but then you realize, yup, no wallet, and just when your about to scream, some one taps you on the shoulder and says…"Jenn, hey Jenn, how are ya, I came by your place but your "neibour" said you hadn’t come home yet,so I figured you were still here. Hey I heard what happened to ya to day, your car being stolen and all, hey lets grab some tea and chat about it."………(ok the story was like obviouly fictional, I was just trying to get the point across, or to just better explain to ya what I meant by when I said your blog was like a breath of fresh air…..So you take care, and have yourself an awsome weekend

    1. REPLIED SEPTEMBER 24 @ 9:20 AM.
      Thank you Bonnie, welcome to blogging. I hope you continue.

      i am glad my blog and what it has to offer is a breath of fresh air

  2. Hi Fabulicious:

    You got the right answer. Come back and visit my webspace anytime.

    1. REPLIED: Septermber 23, 2011 at 7:45 PM
      why thank you Blaine

  3. Actually, I didn’t roll my eyes. Yay! Haha. Well yes, I do set goals for myself, and sometimes I manage to accomplish them, and I do try to figure out what I want out of life and all that good stuff as well. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a guy around for those accomplishments. And I know, I’m young and there are a million guys I’m going to go through. All I want now is someone I can be good friends with – and if dating happens, so be it. But it is also quite nice to know that there is someone who cares about you, who wants to spend time with you, and so on - people other then family members and good friends. Good friends are great, but sometimes it’s nice to have someone who goes the extra mile. But thanks for the comment. :)

    1. Well Miranda...
      we are human and hardly an island so its natural to want companionship. The key is not using the person to validate you.

  4. Hi

    I stopped by for a visit and I got real interested in this topic. I enjoyed how you have explain "When Giving Advice", it’s great !!! I always enjoy reading your blog I benefit from it lots… thanks for being a good cyber friend.

    Warm Regards, Flo
    See YOU soon!

    1. REPLIED SEPTEMBER 24, 2011 AT 7:45 AM

      I enjoy your visits, glad what you read encourage and motivate you.

      stay blessed.

  5. ha ha ha, no ‘m not always like that, though i do tend to overdramitise etc. for commical effect :P

    I was just dissapointed to listen to a band i enjoy and instead of feeling inspired i felt disheartened and lonely(yeah ok ok ok, i know that colply lyrics tend to do this though it’s never really made me feel like that before)

    i mean they were one of my favourite bands. i kinda got over the whole thing with my new empowerment, so to say. though there are still one or two songs that pull a heart string or two.

    i’m a sensative guy, no matter what i show on the surface that will always be true to certain point, especially when it comes to love and romance. i really don’t understand how some people can say they feel love and yet keep themselves so detatched from the feeling.

    ok yeah sure "…fools rush in where angels fear to tread" but why deny or resist the most powerful thing the human emotive is capable of?

    ok i’ll slow down on that whole tangent i’m starting to sound like a sok.

    as for the whole bill and ted thing(:P), to a certain point yeah in a way i could agree, the whole fun lovin side of me yeah,, the party-goer yeah for sure, but the rest of me i’d have to disagree.

    mind you though, at the moment i’m in a really weird place when it comes to knowledge of myself, i’m cmpletely re-inventing myself rather than changing to go with the flow, and i’m finding myself confidant of certain abilities and losing confidance in the things i have a lack of interest in that i used to have confidance in. very weird time at the moment. so i’m entirely sure. i think at the moment i’d have to say i probably represent more a charcter who’s a corporat ladder climbing party animal….hmmmm none come to ming other than the two asses from harold and kumar, though my ethics are slightly stronger to say the least.

    i can’t say you remind me of anyone you’re far too unique, the "phillisophical" people i know and used to hang out with were always far to bent on their own opinions to remind me fo yourself, and the kind or rather lets say "warm" people i know were hardly intelectual enough to portray points of veiw so articulately.

    by the way how long have you been drawing for and how long have you been focussing on anime/manga? got quite a talent there, through all the years i drew and eventually illustrated and then moved to design, the one thing i could never do was draw people, i just couldn’t put that "life" into them, though when it came to animals and creatures of mythical origin such as dragons or little imps etc. it came as easily as drawing any of my abstract stuff.

    now i’m moving heavily toward design and photography and i’m dissapointed to say i think i’m losing my abilities with a pencil :(

    1. REPLIED SEPTEMBER 24, 2011

      Music is a powerful thing, it matters little what language its delivered in, it moves up in so many ways.

      hmmmm, design and photograph, good choices, just believe in yourself and keep motivated, you will achieve it all.

  6. yeees, well i’m a rather expressive person, lets say. i don’t feel i should hold back unless the situation calls for it or i feel that i might make a person uncomfortable, if i care for that person that is. so when it comes to things like my blogs and journals ‘colour’ is quite previlant( i believ thats the word :P)

    well, i hope they know their art is getting credit! – i noticed i’m not the only one giving praise. PS. how old are they(don’t worry i’m not a perv. just knowing the age of the artist helps to understand how quickly the skills have developed and how adept they are to the medium)

    hmmmm, out of all this hard rock and coldplay etc. are you honsetly telling me there is no happy medium between you and your daughters tastes? I remember when i was in highschool and my mom was driving me to school we’d listen to stuff i liked that i thought she’d like if she didn’t we’d switch over to the definates, though i must admit both myself and my mother have fairly eclectic tastes when it comes to music, and for this i was fortunent and we could both always enjoy some classics like the beatles or some good Rck-Hard metallica, etc.

    yes, inded dramatics, i’m positive there’s something that you all can appreciate, though i tend to aggree with your daughters tastes :P

    hmmmmm, i don’t know if i will but i always try to enjoy myself, though the next couple weeks are going to be rough, they’re pushing with production and regarldess of success or failure therein i have to put together a new strategy for my territory and work my campaign against it as our traffic stats are simply to dire for me to seel the advertising, which they are also pushing on.

    best of luck and joy for your week, may the work slide the fun endow and the the rest rejouvenate!! :P(blah)

    take care!

    1. Thank you for the compliment on the art work, they are my daughter's master pieces.

  7. HI
    I’m dropping by again to see what else you’ve been inspired to write..i really enjoy your blogs, they either teach me or give me a good laugh. Well on this topic… I usually find myself giving out alot of advice to people…not because i’m nosy and feel that i’m extremely wise, thus you should listen to my opinion, but mostly because i am asked to provide some insight. The funny thing is at times I really don’t want to say anything in the case they do take into serious consideration what i have said …and all falls down. Also when i am given advice(and since i’m always usually the one giving it out) I find myself reanalysing whatever it is that the person has said, to find out where they have gone wrong, and then adviceing myself and almost completly discarding their words..i know it’s rude …
    But ye..just leaving my thoughts..
    Keep blogging!

    1. laughter is good for the soul and knowledge is always a good thing.\

      thanks for coming.

  8. hmmm i seem to building a small novel here on your blog :P

    18 & 20, cool good skill for their age for sure!

    Thanks for the luck and trhe confidance with my campaign, i boosted it very well this morning and dug into details and broke the strategy down into steps and stages, all i have to do with the strategy now is align it to a timeline to break down the flow of production so i can organise the time of the senior management and my training and the assistance of the juniors, etc. i got my mom checkin over it and giving input(she was senior maketing/product manager for HSBC global so i’m sure she’d a ahve a couple ideas to throw at me)

    good to hear you guys have happy mediums, though i must admit those are fairly eclectic tastes for daughters of that age, very rare that quality, i find most people our age are fairly genre biased. my background with music kinda denotes (ha ha terrible pun) a demand for an over-all appreciation though seeing that in the near future i plan to start DJ’ing i’m going to have to start doing something i hate – listening to rap, hiphop and R&B >P

    i totally understand what you mean about the whole comming home from a rough day at the office, when i was young i never understood my moms 25 min rule – stay away be quite and let me relax for 25 min. try that one, see how it goes down i hate being bugged by the kitties when i get home so the first thing i do is feed them so i can have a break before i start cleaning up in the wake of destruction they’ve made throughout the day.(2 black males 7.5 months old unneutured – very destructive)

    anyways i should probably go tonnes of work and lunch is ending, i very much enjoy commenting with you as well, it’s nice to chat to people with a professional demeanor, i love my friends but they just don’t have it. not to mention the kind words.

    anyways have a great day, ciou!

    1. REPLIED SEPTEMBER 23, 2011 AT 8:02 PM

      Its all good, feel free to stop by anytime and share. Yeah there are times you need to take some time and decompress so you don't implode....

      you are most welcome, i enjoyed our conversations as well.

  9. Very good advice! Thanks Fab!!

  10. I find this time comments are longer than the original post.Suffice it for me to say that your words of advice on giving one are really worth listening to and acting upon.Thanks a bunch

    1. REPLIED SEPTEMBER 23, 2013 @ 10:23 PM
      Thanks, my audience, blogfriends, are free to express their selves, sometimes it can be said in a few words, other times it takes much more.

  11. I really think that I should keeps copy all about advice from you and when I need in that time ...
    Look at the page then I can tell my friends:-)
    gray post!

    1. REPLIED SEPTEMBER 24, @ 9:54 AM
      thank you for always stopping by. You have my permission to keep a copy yes, please link back to me and credit me as the author, thanks.

  12. Hi Rhapsody! Thanks for stopping by to visit the new blog. I closed 'Third Time's A Charm' down because well, as it turns out, it wasn't so charming and our divorce was finalized on Thursday. Time for a new look and a new lease on life.

    I have been on the receiving end of the advice lately, given my situation so your tips on how to receive it were especially helpful. I think the most important part is knowing that regardless of who says what, ultimately you make the final call!

    Blessings to you!

    1. Hey Trudy, its been a while, yes i noticed you closed "Third times a charm" sorry to read of the split, relationships are not easy. Divorce takes an emotional, physical and psychological told.

      I am glad some of what i wrote resonates with you and were able to assist you in some way. God speed.

  13. I almost felt like my mum was talking to me as i read the post, lol. A little reminder on the right things never hurt the soul. Thanks for sharing

  14. This is such an excellent post and bears remembering. I do enjoy the blogging advice I get. I have learned so much!

  15. i just published a post super similar to this...
    but i agree with the point that usually people have already made up their minds on what to do.
    them requesting advice is usually only for clarity

  16. @9jaFOODie thank you,

    @dosh hmmmm, thanks, i take it that is a compliment?

    @LE DYNAMIQUE PROFESSEUR total agreement huh, i guess that means our thinking are aligned.

    @Kay thanks, I believe no one person have all the knowledge but that God place us all here with a little bit and when we connect, interact and communicate we then share our perspective knowledges widening our landscape of knowing. In other words, "each one teach one, learn from one another, what we cannot learn on our own."

    @MsNana_ really...hmmmm, well I shall have a look. You know it is said that no knowledge is new, it is a matter of who expresses and it is then we begin discover, to figure out those of us who are of like thinking.

  17. My advice to you is to not listen to my advice. It's similar to what Groucho Marx said once, (not sure if this is an exact quote) "Im not interested in belonging to a club that would have me as a member."

  18. @BostonBoy hmmmmmm... my grandmother once told me when i was little and too young to understand that if someone warns you about themselves take heed and believe them. I didn't fully comprehen till I was older what that truly meant. Hope you are enjoying the vineyard.

  19. Hi girl, great post, great logic, objective. It sure isn't wise to go about dispensing unwanted advise/opinions to others. The parameters you have outlined above, are great guidelines to go by. However, when we do earn the right to advice, we should filter our motives before we dish it out because, in truth, some people have blind spots in their character, which they may not know about until someone is loving enough to point it out to them. Like the Bible(My manual for life) says, there is always safety in a multitude of counselors. Seeking advise/giving advise both require wisdom/caution.
    Great post.

    1. thank you....
      Over the years i observe with people who have given advice, were often offended when the recipient of their counsel did not take their advice and do as the suggestions imply as a result they become angry and go on the defensive if that person should seek them out again forgetting that ultimately each individual right or wrong as a right to govern their life as they see fit even if it means running it into a ditch.

  20. Thanks for your very wise suggestions taken on board. I think you are right it's nice to get different perspectives while blogging.

    1. Yes it is.....
      We all have so much to share and it is when we part-take in discussions through commenting on issues that we learn to see another side of things, a new perspective, ones we would have never considered without our encounter via our blog commuting and commenting.

  21. Love this so much, so powerful. I see you have a lot of talent, so I decided to follow :). I hope you can travel on over to my site: http://theproverbs.net and follow. Hope to hear from you very soon. Thanks for your time...God Bless!

    Steven B. 0:)

    1. Thank you, glad you feel its empowering...
      I will most certainly take a walk onto the PROVERBS...
      thanks for the follow

  22. I have been well educated with this your piece. All I need is the grace to practice......hmmmmm........operation mind my business activated......operation keep unsolicited advice in check activated

    1. hmmmmm....
      you response made me smile....
      to be open to learning is always a blessings..
      glad you were inspired...


  23. Hi, Great post. I found you through the blog hop. Now following you.Please follow back on GFC friends if you can. Be sure and check out my new Blog Hop that we just started, It's Weekly Goals Link Up. It's a great way to stay on track. Have a great day. :) Here's the link in case you want to check it out.
    http://lenettacarnes.blogspot.com/http://lenettacarnes.blogspot.com/2013/01/weekly-goals-4-linkup.html Thanks again

    1. Blessings and welcome....
      sure thing. I'll check it out.

  24. This was good advice on the subject of advice. Lately I have been struggling with people wanting advice from me and they don't take it. I feel like my words were wasted. This post help me understand that that is not the case. People can take or leave the advice. The important thing is that I did my part.

    1. hmmmmm....understanding sure does clarify things. Glad i could help.

      Yes absolutely, you give it because you were asked to and then you leave it up to the individual to do with it as they see fit.


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