21 I Often Wonder

When I encounter someone homeless, dirty, reeking of vomit, filth and piss with a seemingly obliviousness to the people skittering to avoid them with faces cringed in disgust and contempt I often wonder what happened? What was the turning point that allowed this person to spiral so out of control that they descend completely into helplessness? What were the internal beliefs that continually looped in their psyche that ultimately hypnotized their mind, body and spirit that lead to the downward spiral into destitution? Where, when and why that toxic kernel of belief seeped so insidiously deep into their core that it dissipated their hope causing them to surrender their faith and give up on their selves.

I wonder when they were children what their dreams were. When and why did dreams get derailed? What prevented them from re-inventing their selves creating new dreams? No one grows up thinking… ‘I am going to be a bum on the street’, ‘I am going to walk the street in a drunken stupor’, or ‘I am going to wonder the streets reeking of shit to scare people away in disgust’. What happened to all that promise and possibility?

Some of my friends say I do too much thinking and that it is their choice that they are where they are. Now while there may be a sliver of truth to that, things are seldom that cut and dry and the truth is it does not make me any less compassionate, curious, concerned or sad. No one deserves to be in that ugly place and frankly it is hurtful to see them there. Every time I encounter someone in this position I say a prayer in that moment asking the Divine to deliver them out of whatever hell they may be in, to free them so that they can realize their greatness. Does that make me crazy? This is somebody’s child, brother, sister, father, cousin, uncle, aunt and we have no right to stand and presumptuously judge who we think they are and why they are in the position they are in. It is easy to think, it can never happen to us or any of our loved ones but who is to say what would be the thing that ‘God forbid’ break you and send you, your child, your mother, your father, or your sister over the edge?

It is said that there is a fine line between sanity and insanity and every day we walk that fine line. Do I have an ultimate solution to the loss souls situation, no I do not, all I am saying is apart from the initial spontaneous reaction to the foul smell we all should not allow temporary disgust from the smell lead us into harsh judgments and condemnation because the truth is, we don’t know and assumptions are not facts.

My Point to this piece?

We must be mindful of what we think of others and stop ourselves in the midst of judgments because while we may not be able to heal them we can certainly work at not contaminating our minds and spirit by casting aspersions on others for which we know nothing.