Oct 7, 2009

16 Chivalry is not dead, it’s on life support

Times have changed and so have the men. Whether men have evolved or devolved depends greatly on one’s prospective. I remember a time when men graciously opened doors for women. When men held the door open if they happen to turn around upon exiting and notice a female behind. When men gallantly vacated their seats to women and children and gladly assisted women carrying heavy loads. I don’t think it has disappeared absolutely. I think that remanence of gentlemanliness still exists though it’s seem so far and few between that I often think the way of gallantry is gone, a thing of the past, a figment of my imagination. I have found that more often than not I am a witness to men’s refusal to vacate or even offer to vacate their seats to old ladies, pregnant women with their stomachs so huge they look as though they are carrying baby elephants or women with little children who are forced to hold on and try as best as they could to stay upright.

It would seem that women have picked up this dying mannerism that most men have laid down as women are more likely to offer or vacate their seats to other pregnant women, perhaps from understanding the pressure on the feet and back from carrying a child especially in the late stages of pregnancy, to old ladies and men too stooped by old age and shaking bodies to hold their selves steady and to children whose little arms and feet are not yet strong enough to hold them up through the journey.

While one expects change, evolution and all that good stuff that comes with the sign of the times there are just some things that transcends all that time, space, evolution gobidee-goop. I feel that male gallantry eclipses the passage of time because it never gets old, it never gets played out and no one in their right mind would tire of being the recipient of someone’s kind consideration. People love being treated well and considered I know I do and it is in this vein that I would often offer my seat to anyone in need including men. I love it when I am pleasantly surprised to witness or be the recipient of men’s gallantry; it manages to renew my faith and understanding that chivalry is not dead it just on life support and its exposed remanence is enough to renew my hope just before it manages to dissipate into jaded pessimism.


Thank You are two of the most powerful words, it says I appreciate you, I have noticed your effort, I do not take you for granted, I see you.

Thank you......Make it pandemic and pass it on.


  1. yeah...where have all the gentlemen disappeared??
    i guess we tend to take things for granted in our lives and in others too...how much a difference a athankyou or a please can make, a smile or a response can do...it definitely shows ..i care.

    Thanks so much for this post...yes, hoping for a pandemic fervor!!

  2. What a relevant post topic. I also wonder what is happening to humanity cos I won't say it's just male gallantry/chivalry. Why won't people help those in need or pain?

    Very good write-up, thanks for sharing.

  3. I love it when the door is held for me..or if the car door is opened for me or someone stands aside. It will generally be someone 50 + in age. I am always just as gracious but in a female way as I smile and thank them sincerely. It is obvious how much I appreciate what they did.

  4. Chivalry is not dead completely though very much reduced.I have seen men occupying seats reserved for women and unwilling to vacate when the come unless propmted byt the conductor.Such shameless people also exist.Could it be out of the mistaken notion that when women compete in every area with men, why should they seek special treatment?
    A nice post.I liked it very much

  5. Great Post - for the record, my husband of 16 years still helps me with my coat, opens car doors and pulls out my chair when we are out to dinner. We are in the process of teaching our son to hold doors for women and our daughters and son to do the same for their elders. Change starts at home... God Bless You!

  6. Hi DSB:)

    Great post! Absolutely true.

    Men are less gallant these days. No doubt about it.

    I have noticed in public buses young girls occupying seats when elderly men are standing and hanging on to the bars with great difficulty.

    I suppose the world is changing. No one has any respect for the other irrespective of age or gender.

    Men and women are competing with each other in different fields and perhaps this is the reason for the lack of courtesy, mannerism, good behavior and chivalry. I suppose chivalry will decrease as time goes by. You must be also aware the number of divorces are on the increase these days.

    Have a wonderful day:)

  7. I have been pleased to see that men in Arizona do very often offer women their seats and they have been helped along by bus drivers who ask for seats for the aging, handicapped, pregnant women, etc. And I agree, it is so much nicer to have men showing this consideration. It makes you feel as though you live in a more civilized world where savagery has not yet reached the point of wiping out all those touches that give women hope and a lift. Gerry

  8. Does it matter any more than it did yesterday?
    Male chavunists....there were and are plenty of em all around the world:)

    Honey...the truth is...women are equally impolite and hard heartened tooo;) food for thought isn't it?....

  9. hello preciosa, we seem to see what we put attention on, fortunately or unfortunately. Women, we decide to love ourselves, as its a choice,, so wholly as we are and choose our experiences, speak up when we need to. Those men have been brought up by mothers who taught them less respect for women. i think if we analyze it deeply its a vicious circle.Each onf us is a creator of his/her own experiences, good/bad, past/present and future. I also feel that changing our old thought patterns as individuals for new nourishing ones, creating a change that starts from within is the way to start changing the world we live in.Thanks for sharing.Stay blessed.

  10. Girl, you are so on point with this one! I haven’t seen these things done in ages, until I have totally forgotten that they existed. I hope that one fine day soon they’ll all come back in style.

  11. When I was a child my mum says;Yes please and Thank you that I remember and you are right too.Thank you being my friend.

  12. I’m fluttering back to see if you left a tweet and I agree with Cinderella.This world would be a better place with more gentlemen. Someone called me a true gentleman the other day and it stop me in my tracks because I realized that was a high compliment. Geesh! Now I have a reputation to uphold…Wink.Stay warm my friend…Greg

  13. I want to say THANK YOU for this moment. I want to say THANK YOU for all you share with us and give us. THANK YOU for being here and such a good friend. THANK YOU for your good heart. THANK YOU that you are here.Be blessed!Karin

  14. interesting – it is not men’s gallentry that is dead – just women’s reluctance to say, "Thank You" when a door is opened! "Manners maketh the man" also applies to the female sex.

  15. Thank you for sharing. I was enlightened.

  16. Thank you!!! I enjoyed this post.


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